Midnight Sun Continuation
by MoonstruckManda
Summary: ON HAITUS: Twilight, from Edward Cullen's perspective. Stephenie Meyer started this, but unfortunately is unable to finish it. Curious as to how it may work out?
1. Chapter 1

**Stephenie Meyer's Midnight Sun**

**As some of you may know, Stephenie Meyer was working on a fifth book titled '_Midnight Sun_'. This book was basically _Twilight_, but from Edward Cullen's perspective. Much to Stephenie and many fans, such as my self's dismay, what she had been working on was accidentally leaked out, giving Stephenie hard feelings about her creation and putting a stop to the project. Stated on her website, she will not be continuing this amazing piece of work, but she has put out a copy of what she had written so far. I read what she had, and fell instantly in love with it. I've been thinking for the last couple of months about how the story would continue, and have decided that I should put my thoughts and ideas into words. I won't be writing it all out again, but instead picking up where she left off. You can access the first twelve chapters of _Midnight Sun_ at Stephenie Meyer's website if you'd like, since my story will be starting in the middle of the book. I know I'm not nearly the writer that Stephenie is, and even with the effort I'm going to be putting into this story, I will never be able to exactly capture Stephenie's idea of Edward. I hope, though, that I come close, so that I can finally have some sort solid ending for _Midnight Sun_. I hope you will enjoy reading what I have as much as I will enjoy writing this **

**This story, these characters, none of this is mine. It all belongs to Stephenie Meyer.  
**

**-moonstruckmanda**

Chapter Name Undecided

The drive home was slower than usual, but faster at the same time. Slow because I was driving slower than I normally did, perhaps because I'm getting used to slowing down for Bella. Faster because I spent the entire drive thinking about her. Thinking about how the simple touch of my fingers to her face still set my hand on fire. How the softness and warmth of her skin lingered, like the part of me that touched her would never forget it. How I could never allow myself to do anything more than that simple action, but that I ached to. And mostly, thinking about how euphoric I felt after doing it. As I snaked down the long driveway to the house, the voices assaulted my head. One thought caught my attention over the others.

_He'd better not hurt her. Is he absolutely sure? I don't want him taking any chances, even if there's only the littlest amount of doubt… I know he love her much more than I do, but that doesn't mean I'll be just as upset if she's taken away from me before I can even…uh oh._

Her thoughts were interrupted as I pulled closer. She obviously heard my approach. I couldn't hear Carlisle, which was normal, he's probably still at the hospital. Emmett and Jasper were missing as well, most likely hunting. Figures Alice would use the time Jasper isn't around to worry. I pulled into the garage, turned the car off and took in a deep breath. Her scent still lingered fairly strong in the car, and I would snatch at any chance I could get to desensitize myself as much as possible. My throat burned as the air filled my lungs, venom pooling in my mouth. I got out of the car and shot into the house, standing outside of Alice's bedroom door.

_Jeez, what's his hurry? I should wear my hair up tomorrow… _trust Rosalie to only give anyone but herself a moment's thought.

_Come in, _Alice thought calmly. She didn't know whether or not I'd heard her worrying, but she knew I'd want to speak to her about what she found out during lunch. I opened her door and sat on her bed. _Wow… he looks tortured. But there's something there… hope. There's hope in his eyes. He's betting. _I couldn't help the chuckle that slipped through my lips at her assessment, although there was nothing humorous about it. It was similar to Emmett's thoughts on how I looked, 'happier' as he'd put it. She shot me an annoyed look, she was all business, with good reason. I took a deep breath and prepared myself to ask the dark question out loud.

"How sure are you of each outcome? How clearly do you see Bella driving back home to Charlie that night." The tension in the room was thick, almost tangible. I was asking whether or not I'd kill the woman we both loved, and my voice was layered with disgust. As Alice went through her visions, comparing the two possible outcomes, I cringed. She went through the events that would change the happiest of days to the worst. Finally, she sighed, looking somewhat relieved, but her concern and worry was still clear on her face.

"I'm sixty percent sure that Bella will be fine. It's a smaller number than I'd like, but its better than nothing. You're stronger than you give yourself credit for, Edward. Just be careful… she's already like a sister to me." Her voice cracked as she finished. _I wish you'd let me talk to her. I wish you'd let me at least meet her before you possibly take her away from me. _Her thoughts made my entire body tense up. She didn't deserve it, she was only concerned for the same reasons I was, but I growled at her thoughts.

"Bella _will_ go home that night. She will _not_ be taken away from either of us." I wasn't mad at Alice. I was seething, but it was directed inward. I was trying to convince myself of this, and it wasn't working. Alice just nodded, resigned, and started planning.

"We'll need to hunt. The day before, we'll hunt, and it should help a little. Make sure someone knows who she's with, that should help with your conscience."

"She won't tell her father," I said, somewhat understanding why a teenage girl would be slightly reluctant to explain to her father that she'd be spending the day alone with a boy…"but Jessica Stanley thinks we'll be in Seattle." As soon as I said this, I heard a quiet growl from the room the first floor.

_This is too dangerous. He's just begging for us to have to move again. There's no way he'll be able to resist her when they're alone, and here they are trying to make sure people know about it._

I ignored Rosalie's thoughts, but Alice seemed to understand behind her growl and rolled her eyes.

_Just ignore her, having Jessica know is probably good enough. _Her thoughts became sarcastic, knowing what Jessica was like. _She's not the brightest person, but she'll probably be able to put two and two together if she doesn't come back after spending the day with you. _She raised her eyebrows, and stared at me, almost as if she were willing me to be stronger than I was. Her worry and tension rolled off of her in waves, and I had to stop this conversation before I got too scared and broke the plans with Bella off. I missed her already, it had only been about twenty minutes, but I already longed to see her.

I went downstairs looking for something to do. I decided to play some more piano, I really had been neglecting it too much, and now I felt like I was making up for all that time. I heard Esme sigh as I began to play her favourite, thanking me in her thoughts. My fingers flowed effortlessly over the keys, playing was second nature to me. I continued to play for hours, perfecting the lullaby I had created for Bella, and playing some old pieces that I hadn't played in a countless amount of years. Finally, it was late enough for my daily visit with Bella. I slipped out of the house, past the garage, running at a slow pace…for me, through the forests and on my way to Forks. As I neared the house, I paused, listening for any indication on whether Bella or her father was asleep or not. I heard the deep snoring of her father, and his dreams held the feeling of boredom, and an office desk. Nothing from Bella.

I crept onto their property, climbing the house and peeking in her window in less than half a second. It was dark enough that I would go unnoticed, if anyone around was awake and just happened to be watching the front of the Swan's house. I heard no gasps, no screams, not thoughts of an intruder, so I concentrated on what I saw through the window. She slept, but uneasily. Just as I had popped my head up to see her, she rolled from being on her side to her back, her arm fell over her head, her face an expression of frustration. I silently slid the window open and crawled in, taking my place in the rocking chair in the corner. I tensed, holding myself in place as I prepared to take my first breath. First, through my mouth, to better control my reaction. It tingled, hurt, as I filled my lungs, but I knew it would be nothing compared to smelling her sweet scent. I let the breath out with a sigh, and held onto the arms of the chair. Slowly, I took in a deep breath through my nose. Ouch. As bad as the first time I smelled her, the wrecking ball hit with an unstoppable force. My throat burned, my muscles flexed, ready to spring as soon as I gave my body the command. I wouldn't. I was well enough in control, my breathing evening out.

It only took a few more seconds, after the initial concern of my reaction to her scent passed, for me to feel the electric current flow through me. Right as it hit, Bella rolled to her side, facing me, and a small sound escaped her lips. A moan? It sounded like that, mixed with a sigh. She took in a deep breath, and whispered the word that made the electric pulse throb.

"Edward." I couldn't stop the smile that spread across my face. She continued to toss and turn restlessly, speaking only of me in her sleep. The few times she woke up, I darted into her closet. Thankfully, I went unnoticed. My being in her room in the middle of the night watching her sleep might be a little hard to explain. Finally, around four in the morning, she seemed to calm down. By this time, I ached to touch her. I warred with myself, locking my fingers around the armchair. I held back, and when the sky showed the first signs of the sun's appearance, I sighed, taking one last long look at the beautiful sleeping girl I adored so much, and ran.


	2. Chapter 2

**I've finished the first…or, rather, 13****th**** chapter. I hope it's as good as the first, I know I love reading it almost as much as I loved writing it. I'd like to thank those that read my story, and those who favourited it! I'd also like to thank my first reviewer, ****Rose Virgo for her awesome & kind words. So, without me babbling on much more, here's the ending to the 13****th**** chapter!**

**-moonstruckmanda**

Once I got home, I was able to breathe. The electricity that had assaulted me all night was fading, and I could think like a normal person. This just got hard and harder, first the almost unbearable need to kill her, now the even stronger need to touch her. I went to my room, and thought about the upcoming day. It was my turn to ask the questions. I could help but feel excited, and relieved at the same time. I was finally going to at least put a dent in the insane amount of questions that boiled inside me about her. I was so curious; not being able to read her mind was the most frustrating thing to ever happen to me. I constantly wonder about her reactions, the ones that seem so unnatural. Did she already suspect the world to be full of the monsters it is? Was that why she was able to take this all in so calmly? It didn't make sense.

I got ready for the day, already giddy for our next reunion. It seemed like every time we said goodbye hurt more than the last time we did, and every time we met up again brought some sort of sense of rightness. I sprinted downstairs to Alice, a grin spreading across my face.

_How long is this going to keep up? Rosalie is only going to get more and more bitter with having to drive, you know._ Alice already knew what I had planned; her thoughts were layered with fake irritation. Her smile gave her away.

"Thanks Alice." my smile somehow got wider with excitement, knowing I would be with Bella in just a few minutes. "I'll see you at school."

_Not for that long…_ She thought as she watched me walking out the door. She flashed visions of Bella and I sitting at our lunch table alone, the four of them sitting in my old spot. She was sad that I was so occupied nowadays, but the happiness she felt for me finally breaking free from my angst ridden years of depression overrode that. Good. I didn't want my family too upset by my obsession.

As I neared Forks, I parked my car a block away from Bella's house. I could hear the babble of morning conversation throughout the houses surrounding me, but I zoned in on the one that mattered.

_"That was the plan." _Bella had said, obviously answering someone's question. Her voice had a sort of nervous hint to it. I searched the thoughts of her father, but could only make out hope, and worry.

_"And you're sure you can't make it back in time for the dance?"_ I stiffened. They were discussing the day Bella and I would be spending together.

_"I'm not going to the dance, Dad."_ Her voice was flat, and I wondered why she was so annoyed by that topic. My questions were answered with what Charlie said next.

_"Didn't anyone ask you?"_ It was hard for him, discussing this with his daughter. I could make out that he didn't want her to be spending too much with boys, but also worried that she would be too alone. I'm not a father, nor will I ever be, but I could understand that.

_"It's a girl's choice."_ She replied simply. She didn't feel the need to add in that three boys had already asked her, and she'd declined. Or the fact that almost every other boy had the thought in their mind that maybe they should ask her. Or the fact that she'd chosen to spend the day with me instead of attending some dance.

_"Oh."_ He let the topic drop, getting ready to leave. I put the car into drive, waiting for him to drive away. I watched as he walked to his car. Humans are so slow! Finally, he drove away, and I drove down the rode, pulling into Bella's drive way. I waited in the car, watching as she peeked out her window. Her face brightened as she spotted my car, and ran from the window. I heard each _thunk thunk thunk_ as she ran down the stairs, eager to get to me. My smile held, it would take a lot to wipe it from my face now. She was eager to see me. Almost as much as I was to see her. She burst out her door, and I watched surreptitiously as each of her long flowing locks of hair waved around on her back as she turned to lock the door. She walked over to my car, pausing at the door before opening it and getting in.

She was smiling, her cheeks tinted with rose as she blushed slightly. My muscles tensed, and I prepared myself for the first breath. I concentrated on how she was looking at me, appraising me, as I breathed in her lovely delicious scent. Harsh, but not nearly enough to take the smile off my face as I greeted her.

"Good morning. How are you today?" I asked, searching her face for any sign of distress. Her night had, after all, been full of tossing and turning. I doubt she slept very well. She only took on a sense of calm in the earlier hours of the morning.

"Good, thank you." She replied, and she sounded as though she were just that. Or better. But the dark circles under her eyes deceived her; she looked as though she had stayed up all night.

"You look tired." I remarked, my eyes lifting my gaze up to her eyes.

"I couldn't sleep." She stated, and her blush thickened. She grabbed some hair and threw it in front of her face, as though she were embarrassed by it. This aggravated me, if I couldn't read her mind I should at least be allowed seeing her face to watch her reactions, and trying to figure out what they meant. That, and her face was so unbelievably mesmerizing, she was so beautiful.

"Neither could I." I replied, smirking as I started the car. Her laughter filled the car, and made me feel like laughing myself. Which is a rare thing.

"I guess that's right. I suppose I slept just a little bit more than you did." She said, a hint of sarcasm in her voice.

"I'd wager you did."

"So what did you do last night?" I couldn't help but laugh; how to answer that question? I thought about her reactions to everything, how she takes everything so well, and thought maybe I should keep the creepy stalking surprises to a minimum.

"Not a chance. It's _my_ day to ask questions." I grinned. I watched as her eyebrows pulled together slightly, her forehead creasing as she considered that.

"Oh, that's right. What do you want to know?" Hah! The question should be what _don't_ I want to know. That would be a much shorter list. I blurted out the first question that came to mind.

"What'd your favorite colour?" It was an easy enough question. She rolled her eyes and looked at me. She was probably expecting a more complicated question, but I was saving those for when I knew her better.

"It changes from day to day." How frustrating she was! I can't read her mind, and she goes out of her way to keep it that way. To keep me from the simplest of details. But this answer, at least, gave me something to work with.

"What's your favourite colour today?"

"Probably brown," I snorted, thinking of the colour. Its boring, ugly.

"Brown?" I asked, heavy on the skepticism, raising my eyebrow.

"Sure. Brown is warm. I _miss_ brown. Everything that's supposed to be brown…tree trunks, rocks, dirt…it's all covered up with squashy green stuff here!" She complained, her tone slightly whiney. I could understand that. The colour brown is almost nowhere in this town, once exception being her. Her shirt, for one, was brown. It matched with her warm, deep brown eyes, and her soft, beautiful brown hair. This brought me back to the annoyance of her almost covered face.

"You're right. Brown is warm." I agreed, hesitantly reaching out to sweep her hair back, my face softening as I took in hers. I thought about the questions I would ask, and what order I should ask them in. I thought about the most inconsequential of questions, although everything about her was important to me, as I drove to school. As I parked, I looked back at her, and she looked slightly surprised. "What music is in your CD player right now?"

"Finger Eleven." She replied, slightly sheepish. She blushed, and I was taken in by the inviting red that spread across her cheeks. I pushed that thought to the back of my mind quickly, raising one eyebrow. Searching through the CD's my family and I kept in the car, I found the one she was talking about. One of Emmett's favourite.

"Debussy to this?" It seemed almost funny, that the same girl that listened to beautiful pieces such as _Claire de Lune_ could also enjoy the loud banging of Finger Eleven. She took the CD, her eyebrows raised as she looked at it. She gave it back, looking at the dashboard, the hint of a smile playing at the corners of her lips. I got out, and managed to get around the car in time to open the door for her. She stumbled slightly as she got out, blushing. I watched as her arms swayed a bit, her fingers warm and inviting. They twitched, and she stuffed her hands in her pockets, looking down at the ground with a look of confusion on her face.

"What are your favourite movies?" I asked, trying to get as much information out of her as I could before I had to leave for class.

As I walked her to class, I continued my string of questions. She didn't seem annoyed at my curiosity, more confused as to why I am. We reached her door and I cursed the school and all the time it takes up.

"I'll see you at lunch." I sighed, gazing over her face one last time before I turned and walked away. I heard her sigh, turn, and walk into her class. I felt like my chest tingled where my heart sat, dead and unmoving. The rest of the morning went uneventful as I listened in on the minds surrounding Bella. She didn't speak to anyone about me, but it was relaxing just the same to hear her voice through their thoughts. The curiosity of the two of us in everyone's mind was humorous, though. Was it so hard to believe that anyone could fall for this amazingly lovely creature? It had been in the minds of every boy attending this school, her beauty, her perfection. Was it so hard for them to realize that I'd take interest as well?

As soon as my last class before lunch ended, I was on my feet. I moved with such quick movements, I had to check the minds around me to make sure no one had noticed the inhuman way my body moved. I was in the clear, and I was already halfway to Bella's classroom. As she came out of her classroom, her expression was full of excitement, and a little worry. She glanced up and spotted me, and both our grins matched.

"What books are you interested in?" I asked, not wanting to waste time. She let out a chuckle, and answered.

"Right now I'm reading _Pride and Prejudice_, probably for the tenth time." Hmm, more classics. I already knew she enjoyed older books, her day in the sun allowed me that small bit of information. My smile widened, and I continued to question her. My questions came out fast, but I took the time to consider each word she said, each sentence she formed. I tried not to get drawn into her reactions too much, but sometimes I couldn't help myself. For example, when I asked her what her favourite smell in the world was, she looked down, blushed, and wouldn't answer. I tried my best to get to get the answer from her, it really was just a simple question. But she was stubborn, and so I continued on with my questioning.

Another time, closer to the end of our lunch period, I had asked her about her favourite gem stone.

"Topaz." She replied, followed by an immediate blush. I could help but ask.

"What's the significance of topaz?" I asked, trying to be nonchalant about my burning curiosity.

"Nothing, it's just a really nice colour…" she said, embarrassed. Her voice was a little shaky, and her reactions only fanned the flames. I pleaded with her to tell me, not willing to let this one slide as well, until she finally gave in. Her answer wasn't what I expected.

"It's the colour of your eyes today," she admitted, sighing in defeat. She almost unconsciously toyed with a lock of her hair, looking down at her hands and biting her lip. "I suppose if you asked me in two weeks I'd say onyx." Her confession brought with it a sense of how she felt about me, how I was important to her. It also brought me the feeling of guilt, she obviously felt embarrassed about sharing how she felt about me. I chastised myself, for the reaction I gave her when she first told me she cared for me, and let the subject drop, continuing on with my line of questioning.

My questioning continued this way throughout the lunch period, and on our way to biology class. The thought hadn't even crossed my mind until Mr. Banner pulled the television set back into the room about what I should expect of today's class. My body tensed, and I tried to inconspicuously slide my chair slightly farther away from Bella. Every little bit helps, right? Wrong. The second the lights were turned off, I felt it.

That strange pull between us attacked me again. The electricity was thick in the air, the flickers nearly visible in the small space between us. It was easier in her room, with this affect she now had on me in the dark, because we were father apart. But now we were mere inches from our skin touching, and this thought kept to the forefront of my mind. Bella started to lean forward, her eyes glued to the television, but unfocused. I watched her every move, watched as she brought her arms up to the table folded, and rested her chin upon them. Watched the skin over her knuckles pale slightly as she gripped the table. I noticed the change in her breathing, coming faster than usual. The movie played on, and I couldn't even look up at it. My eyes were entirely fixated on the beautiful creature sitting right beside me, within my reach.

Class was moving slowly again, but I couldn't complain. I watched her so intently, but unlike yesterday she didn't look at me. Not one peek, no glances in my direction. I wondered why. Was I frightening to her now? Had the darkness brought out the monster in me to her? Many humans were afraid of the dark. Was Bella? Yesterday, she looked at me a few times. I could have sworn…or at least, I had convinced myself that the look in her eyes told me she was experiencing the same feeling I was. Was I wrong? There was a monster beside her in the darkness. She couldn't be unaware of that.

And yet, I couldn't really believe it. We had been in the dark before. We had been the Volvo, that night in Port Angeles. It was dark, and I looked murderous…and yet she wasn't afraid of me. She had confessed to having feelings for me that night. Surely she couldn't be afraid of me now. I pondered her actions, desperately trying to figure out the workings of her intriguing mind.

Mr. Banner rose from his desk, headed toward the light switch. As soon as the room lit up, Bella sighed. She instantly looked at me, her eyes intense and full of curiosity. I got up from my seat, and waited for her to get ready to leave. My hand tingled, the same sting it had yesterday in anticipation as a thought crossed my mind. If I had touched her yesterday, successfully… without killing her… why couldn't I do that again today?

_Because it would torture you. It would draw you closer and closer… make you crave more touches until you ended up killing her, you monster._

I was once again faced with the war. The battle between what I wanted, and what I needed. Could my wants and needs coexist? I wanted to touch her. Wanted so much, to the point of need. But what I needed was for her to stay alive for as long as she could. I needed her to exist. I couldn't take the chance, risk what I needed for what I wanted. Could I?

As our destination neared, I worked to hold back my sigh. I knew myself too well. I knew that when I let myself touch her yesterday, I ended all possibility of keeping my hands off her. I should leave…I have to leave. _Run while you still can. While she's still alive. _

I can't run now. Maybe later…once I've gotten enough strength, I can run. I can save her from the life I've made her destined for. But right now, as she stopped in front of her gym door and turned to look at me, her expression expectant and impatient, I can't run. My eyes bore into hers as my arm lifted. I watched as her eyes widened the littlest bit as the back of my fingers met her skin. I drew it out as long as I could, touching the length of the skin on her face from her temple to her jaw as gently as I possibly could, soaking up the warmth and feeling her blood flowing right underneath her cheek.

If I continued to test myself this way, it would most definitely be the end of her. The end of my life. I knew that. But I couldn't stop myself now. I had opened this window, and there was no way of closing it. I couldn't just stop. I needed to leave, and soon. I turned around and started walking away before she could see the pain spread across my face. I watched her in the minds of those around her, her expression was almost blank…dazed. I could hear her breaths, even but quick. So much for savoring the memory.

I caught sight of Emmett on his way to the English building. He noticed me and nodded.

_Hey, bro. Any scheming plans to pair the students off today?_ A grin crept on his face, and he was working hard not to laugh. I couldn't help but smile back, and shake my head slightly. _Jeez, he looks happier every day. Soon he'll be dancing around using people as Barbie dolls like Alice._ I stiffened slightly at his comment, but brushed it off and continued on into our Spanish class. He couldn't hold back the quiet laugh that escaped his lips.

I took my seat beside Emmett, and quickly scanned the thoughts of those in their last period gym class. Well, the ones I could hear…

_I guess I'll pair with Bella again. Hopefully I'll leave in one piece. What's wrong with her, she looks so… confused? Stunned, maybe. Maybe Cullen broke up with her. _He smiled sheepishly as he went to stand beside Bella, and I tensed, fighting the urge to run over there and break each of his limbs. _She doesn't even look like she sees anything around her. Probably too busy fantasizing about her stupid freak. _My eyes widened and my breath shot out of my mouth quickly. I sucked in a quick gulp of air and attempted to clear my thoughts. I failed at that. Could she be? Of course I'd considered the possibility that she had some thoughts along the same lines as Jessica Stanley's, but hearing that from someone else's mind almost made it more possible.

_What's wrong?_ Emmett's thoughts brought me back to reality. Obviously Mike Newton had been sarcastic about that thought, and even if he wasn't, there was no way that would even be possible. If I even got close enough to kiss her, her scent would…_Edward! What the hell is wrong?_ He was alarmed at my shudder, and was going through what could possibly be going wrong. I just shook my head, trying to push the thoughts from my mind. _You're so confusing these days, man. It's like you're someone else._ He was relieved that nothing was really wrong, but close to annoyed at the same time.

The rest of the class droned on; Mike Newton's thoughts remained acidic, and he didn't talk to Bella the entire period. Mrs. Goff didn't let me out early today, so I walked possibly a little quicker than I normally would have to catch Bella before she left her gym class. I got there just in time to watch her stumble her way out of the girl's locker room. She searched and met my eyes, and a wide grin stretching from ear to ear. My smile mirrored hers instantly, and if I'd had a heart it would be fluttering at her response to seeing me. As it was, I didn't, but she did…and its beat picked up infinitesimally.

"So, what television shows do you watch?" She laughed, and rolled her eyes.

"I don't really watch any T.V. at home. I'm either not interested in anything on, or Charlie's watching sports." At least she wasn't a couch potato. I suppose I wouldn't have minded much if she was. As the time ticked away, my questions got more serious. She wasn't just shooting one word answers anymore, she was explaining, with great detail, every answer to every one of my questions. She no longer held back in expressing herself, she let me in. She let me know how she felt about her home away from home, Phoenix, and her mother, Renee.

The way the words spilled out of her mouth was captivating. I stare as she talked, watching the way her lips moved forever, but I averted my eyes to watch her entire face, or hold my gaze in her eyes; staring at her lips made me feel the longing I felt whenever I wanted to touch her, only tripled.

We were sitting outside of her house in my car, as we had been for the past few hours. It has been the most happiest of hours I've ever spent, even with my throat throbbing and feeling like burnt raw skin. It's dulled with the time, though. The first hour was the worst, her scent strong in the car, her exposed neck just inches from my razor sharp teeth. After that, though her scent strengthened, I began to relax. The venom was still there, always there, ready to immobilize her while I slowly…

But I wasn't hunting. I wasn't tense, I was fine. I was locking in a small confined space with this unbelievably sweet smelling human, and all I could do was stare at her beauty, and listen to her words. It gave me a sort of odd feeling, a sort of pleasure. While her scent ripped down my throat and her cheeks, blushing a delicious rose colour frequently, I was able to sit here and concern myself only with what she had to say. I was a tamed lion, staring at a fresh steak. Except, I suppose the lion wouldn't be completely in love with the steak, would he? How odd this was, because I was basically in love with my food. I hated to think of her that way, but that is what she was for _my_ kind.

I wondered how detailed she was being. If she was being overly detailed, or if she was letting things slide. It seemed as though she was giving me everything, every small piece of information on the subject, like she knew I had an insatiable need to know her. I decided to take a chance, and ask her to describe her bedroom. Hopefully she didn't notice the way my lips twitched, fighting the smile that threatened to expose me, as she explained absolutely every little detail. All the important facts, right along side with the most inconsequential of details. She was putting a sort of trust in me. Not that she didn't already obviously trust me with her life, but she was also trusting me with who she was. With knowing her inside and out. I was damn near euphoric.

I came back down from that cloud as I noticed the time.

"Are you finished?" Relief saturated her question, and she sat back in the seat. It was hard to laugh at her, what did she think? That one day of questions would be enough for me?

"Not even close…" She had no idea how far away from being finished I really was. "But your father will be home soon."

"Charlie! How late is it?" She glanced out the windows, her eyebrows pulling together slightly, creating the small indent right between her brows. I followed her gaze outside, and noted the absence of the sun and the dark clouds. Twilight. Light enough to be noticed, but no sun out… we can roam the streets freely.

"It's twilight," I said in a quiet voice. I scanned the streets and the horizon, thinking about my last twilight as a human. The memory was foggy, and only in clips. I felt Bella's eyes on my face, and when I looked over to meet them they were full of questions. "It's the safest time of day for us; the easiest time, but also the saddest in a way…the end of another day, the return of the night. Darkness is so predictable, don't you think?" I mustered up the best smile I could for her, still a bit lost in thought in the memories.

"I like the night. Without the dark, we'd never see the stars," her face contorted, a frown forming at the corners of her mouth. "Not that you see them here much." I barked a fairly loud laugh, grinning at her. This woman absolutely amazed me. And she could make me laugh easier than anyone else can. She has such a power over me…I heard the faint sound of Charlie's car coming closer.

"Charlie will be here in a few minutes. So, unless you want to tell him that you'll be with me Saturday…." I raised an eyebrow, expecting her reaction. She was becoming easier and easier to read every day. But still, her mind stayed-hopefully not forever-closed.

"Thanks, but no thanks." She replied sarcastically, in turn causing my smile to grow wider. She collected her books, and stretched a bit. "So is it my turn tomorrow, then?" Hah! She wished!

"Certainly not! I told you I wasn't done, didn't I?" I pestered, a mischievous smirk spreading on my face.

"What more is there?" _Oh, I don't know... only everything..._ I thought. Better keep it simple…

"You'll find out tomorrow" I said playfully, and reached over to open her door. I was distracted by her heartbeat picking up pace as I reached, but as soon as my hand made contact with the door handle, I froze.

_This might be slightly awkward. But, damn it, we've been friends for how long? I can't even count the years. One argument doesn't deserve this much silence. If I know Charlie correctly, he'll … who's car is that?_ I saw my Volvo in his mind.

"Not good."

"What is it?" I was taken in for a fraction of a second by her sweet breath, blowing in my face. It was so warm, so inviting…I looked up at her face.

_I can't wait to see Bella. I wonder if she'll be happy to see me. She looked like she was having a good time in La Push…_ a flash of his memories ran through his mind, Bella looking up at him from her eyelashes, smiling. _I wish I was one or two years older… hey! Isn't that their house? No way…is that her Dad's car or something? It couldn't be…_

"Another complication," I answered. I opened her door, and slid a bit farther away from her. The scent of her breath still lingered around my head, almost like a haze, and I was about to be caught sitting with her in a car. How fitting that the wolves would descend the moment I might break down and try to touch her mouth. Billy Black was approaching, and he knew full well what I was. There's no doubt that he'd recognize me, and for me to be seen alone in a car with his best friends daughter was definitely a complication. The sound of Charlie's car neared, but my eyes never left the car that was now parked in front of us. "Charlie's around the corner."

Bella jumped out of the car, confusion clear on her face. She glanced at me, to the car, then back at me. Her eyes lingered on my face as I started my car, and she watched as I drove away as fast as I possibly could. I could still hear, though.

"Hey, Bella!" _So she was in a car with a boy? Well damn. Damn the luck. I'm too late. Or too young…_

"Jacob?" I almost turned the car around. The smile that spread across her face as she figured out who was in the car sent a wave of jealousy crashing down on me. I growled as Jacob's hopeful thoughts were silenced with the distance. I raced the car home, assuring myself that I'd be with her again in just a few hours. Just a few painfully long hours.

**Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! I'd appreciate any reviews, even criticism…I'll grab at any chance I can get to better my writing. From now on, the chapters will come in wholes, sorry about the two part chapter, but I couldn't help putting up what I'd already finished in my burst of inspiration. I'd have posted this earlier, but FanFic's being mean to me :P Anyways, time to catch some sleep. Until next time, ttfn!**

**-moonstruckmanda**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys. Couple things. First, Sorry, my twilight book's out of reach for the time being, so I won't be able to write as much as often for a while. I'm also visiting some best friends of mine that I haven't seen in a while... yeah, life stuff.**

**But most important, I've decided something. I'm keeping to how I write and Edward's POV and everything to the story, but I don't think I'll be going by chapters anymore. I think I'm just going to skip past writing everything out that way, and just keep it all one whole, split up whenever I stop writing.**

**But enough of that, here's what I've written. Hope you enjoy!**

I sat laughing in my car as I listened to her practically bounce around the house getting ready for school. Her carefree whistles rang out, and I could just imagine how her face would glow as she basked in her happiness. I couldn't help but hope that I was part of the cause of her happy morning. After all, we were but one day away from Saturday, and my stomach knotted in anticipation for the events of tomorrow. To be alone with Bella for the entire day, no interruptions…but also, no one around to stop me if I lost control…

Her whistling stopped as if she saw the same dark vision of her in my arms, limp, pale and breathless in the meadow that I did the moment I had thought of them. What, is that supposed to be a sign? As soon as I decide, her life is just going to be cut off so suddenly, just like her joyful whistling? Is there no way I can have both her and her safe at the same time? Of course not, she's my prey. She deserves a life better than this, one she wants where she can be happy.

_"Mom, I miss you. Mom, don't forget your keys."_ She deserves to go back home with her mother. She dreams about her constantly, and couldn't stop talking about her last night. She's just too selfless for her own good, but how could I help that? How could I put her where she wants to be? Not to mention I'd almost never get to see her because she'd be living where the sun is almost always out. How could I live with that? Not yet…soon, but I'm not quite ready for that. Possibly after tomorrow, but that still doesn't answer the question of _how_.

Her whistling picked right back up, effectively ending that train of thought.

_"You're cheerful this morning."_ I could only pick up curiosity in Charlie's thoughts.

_"It's Friday."_ She explained, short and simple. It amazes me how little they talk, but how much Charlie loves her. I wonder how she feels about her father. She never dreams about him…from what I can hear, but then, why would she have to? He's right there, where she is. Ah, to be in her mind.

After a few minutes, I heard a chair scrape loudly on the floor, and footsteps to the sink. I started the car, taking this as my cue, and not long afterward Charlie came out the front door. The moment Charlie drove down the road, I was parked in her drive way. I heard her rushed steps getting louder, and she threw the door open. A smile lit up her face, and she skipped to my car and got in. Her heart skipped a few beats when she looked at me, and she stopped breathing when I smiled. Perhaps she would realize she needed to breathe if she had to talk. I gripped the steering wheel in preparation for my first intake of breath, and slowly breathed in through my nose. I had to fight to keep the smile on my face, she was still watching me. I tried to swallow back the venom in my mouth, and started our conversation.

"How did you sleep?" She took in a slightly jagged breath when I spoke, and let it out as an almost sigh, as if she were relieved.

"Fine. How was your night?" _Great, amazing, filled with you. You and your beautiful, peaceful sleep._

"Pleasant." I had to hold back on the chuckle that threatened to make her question me any further.

"Can I ask you what you did?" she asked, and her right eyebrow raised the tiniest bit. A big smile broke out on my face.

"No, today is still _mine_." She blinked, and I started the car and drove towards Forks High school. I started with questions about her mother, since she dreamt about her so much last night. Then I started in on the family and friends she has or has had, slowly working my way up to the most important question to me. Also the hardest to ask, the one that makes me the most nervous. Finally, I sighed, and decided to just rip the bandage off. "What about…" I paused, took a deep breath, "boyfriends?" I almost growled the word. Just the thought of her belonging to anyone else made me livid. I was sure that I wouldn't like the answer, there was no way no one wanted her. Almost every male attending our school wanted her. But to my surprise, she blushed a deep red, and once again surprised me.

"None."

"…none?" I couldn't actually believe that. She had already been asked to the school dance three times, not to mention the hundreds of guys that didn't have the guts to ask her. But then, she did say no to those three boys, so I suppose they had a reason for being… She said no. "So you never met anyone you wanted?" This question scared me the most, because really, who would turn her down? She was the reason she didn't have any boyfriends, _she_ didn't want _them_. My stomach twisted into nervous knots waiting for her answer, and she was staring at the table.

"Not in Phoenix." _Not in Phoenix. Not in Phoenix._ The words circled my head, and though I knew the meaning behind the words, they wouldn't click into my head. She'd said yes to _me_. She wanted _me_. I shook my head the tiniest bit, and tried to come up with a new topic.

_Edward, we should leave soon, if you want to get her truck. We won't be back in time if you decide to go to Biology class as well for you see her tonight._ There it was, Alice gave me my new topic, but I was hesitant to bring it up. I had to decide, go to biology class with her or watch her sleep? Although I wanted the chance to feel that electricity between us, I think I've pushed myself enough. I don't think I could handle another fifteen minutes in the dark with her without touching her. Besides, what if she talks about me in her sleep tonight and I miss it?

"I should have let you drive yourself today." I watched as her brows pulled together and her mouth pulled down to form an adorable frown.

"Why?"

"I'm leaving with Alice after lunch." Her brows, already pulled together, pulled up where they met and my silent heart ached. She looked so…disappointed.

"Oh. That's okay, it's not that far of a walk." I immediately frowned. She thought I was going to make her walk home? Is that the only reason she was upset?

"I'm not going to make you walk home. We'll go get your truck and leave it here for you."

"I don't have my key with me." She paused and sighed, "I really don't mind walking." I shook my head, my frown growing a little.

"Your truck will be here, and they key will be in the ignition…" my frown let up, as I tried to lighten the subject. "Unless you're afraid someone might steal it." I laughed, if anyone were to try and steal that car she'd hear it a happening a mile away.

"All right." I heard the challenge in her tone, and watched as one of her eye brows pulled up. I smirked, she really thought a vampire would have trouble finding some keys? "So where are you going?" I didn't exactly want to answer her question, but I needed to.

"Hunting-if I'm going to be alone with you tomorrow; I'm going to take whatever precautions I can." I looked her deep in the eyes, trying to make her realize just how dangerous this really is. "You can always cancel, you know." It almost felt like I was stabbing at myself, but if it would keep her away from the vampires…away from me. She averted her eyes, trying to focus on the table.

"No." Her voice was strong, but just a whisper. She looked up at me, and her eyes sparkled as the light overhead hit them. "I can't." I knew this was wrong, I knew it was dangerous for her. But I couldn't help but feel relieved. She knew this was dangerous, yet she still wanted to be near me.

"Perhaps you're right." _Perhaps this might work. Perhaps you'll walk away from that meadow, blood still running through your veins, your heart still beating. Perhaps Alice's vision will never happen._

"What time will I see you tomorrow?"

"That depends. It's a Saturday, don't you want to sleep in?" I would want to, if I had the ability to. To be lost in a dream like state, a peaceful bliss.

"No." She answered quick, and slightly panicked. My mouth twitched, but I kept the smile off my face.

"The same time as usual, then. Will Charlie be there?" She grinned, her eyes lit up a small bit.

"No, he's fishing tomorrow." So he won't be there to see her leave with me. If Alice's vision happens, if Bella doesn't come home…

"And if you don't come home, what will he think?" My voice came out a bit harsher than I'd wanted it to, but it seemed to have almost no effect on her anyways.

"I have no idea. He knows I've been meaning to do the laundry, maybe he'll think I feel in the washer." I scowled at her, how could she make a joke out of this? How could she take something so serious so calmly? She scowled back, trying to look more frightening, but she knew I had her beat. I would have laughed at her cute little attempt at being intimidating, but I was too worried. "What are you hunting tonight?" I raised an eyebrow. She spoke as though my hunting was completely normal. Well, normal to humans.

"Whatever we find in the park. We aren't going far."

"Why are you going with Alice?" I frowned. How to answer this question? I couldn't exactly tell her about Alice being her new best friend before speaking two words to her… or how Alice already loves her, and is worried that I might kill her.

_I can always answer that question, Edward…_ I fought to keep from rolling my eyes. How like Alice.

"Alice is the most….supportive."

"And the others? What are they?" Her face fell slightly, her voice was weak and shy.

"Incredulous, for the most part." Her eyes darted to the table where my family set, and back to me.

"They don't like me." I searched for an explanation. Rosalie didn't matter, but Emmett and Jasper?

"That's not it. They don't understand why I can't leave you alone." She grimaced.

"Neither do I, for that matter." I shook my head, and rolled my eyes. When I looked back at her, she looked a bit confused.

"I told you, you don't see yourself clearly at all. You're not like anyone I've ever known. You fascinate me." She glared at me, sure that I was teasing her. I smiled, and searched for how to explain why she fascinates me. "Having the advantages I do…" I touched my head, hoping she would understand without me taking the chance to bring it up out loud, "I have a better than average grasp of human nature. People are predictable. But you…you never do what I expect. You always take me by surprise." She looked away from me, her eyes a little sad and a faint blush spreading across her face. I closed my eyes for a quick second, hoping to fight back the reaction of my muscles to her deliciously inviting cheeks. It took a second to decipher what she'd heard in my words to make her a little sad, and then I saw it. She thought I was interested in her simply because I couldn't read her mind. "That part is easy enough to explain…" I continued, trying to make her understand how I really felt, but she wouldn't look back at me. Her eyes were fixed in my four siblings sitting behind me. "But there's more…and it's not so easy to put into words-"

_What is so special about her?! Look at her, she's plain. Absolutely plain. What is wrong with him, does he not see me? Is he blind? How can he find HER so absolutely attractive, yet he sees ME as unworthy of a second glance._

I broke off mid-sentence to hiss at Rosalie. I was sure Bella noticed, because she ripped her eyes away from Rosalie's angry glare and focused on my face. Her eyes were wide with relief, confusion, and…fear. I had frightened her. "I'm sorry about that. She's just worried. You see…" I stopped. She's already under the ridiculous assumption that she isn't worthy of me, if she knew that Rosalie was jealous…Rosalie, the epitome of beauty in most men's eyes… "It's dangerous for more than just me, if after spending so much time with you publicly…" I looked down, instantly regretting the direction I took my explanation.

"If?"

"If this ends…badly." I covered my face, in attempt to cover the monster I really was. To hide the murderer's eyes from Bella. It was silent for a little while, I heard her shift her arm, and saw in Jasper's head how Bella was reaching out to me, to try to comfort me. Why was _she_ trying to comfort _me_? She _must_ realize by now, yet she continues to trust me with her life. She brought her hand back, her expression sympathetic, and frustrated. The silence continued for a few more moments.

"And you have to leave now?" her voice was strong, but a tad bit sad.

"Yes." I lifted my face to look at her, and she was. She did look sad, which in turn made me search for ways to cheer her up. I couldn't stand to see her upset. I thought about what I'd miss in biology class, and smiled. "Its probably for the best. We still have fifteen minutes of that wretched movie left to endure in Biology…I don't think I could take anymore." _Not without touching you, that is_.

_I don't care what he says. I'm going to introduce myself. I can't wait any longer!_

Alice came up behind me, and I saw Bella almost flinch as she noticed the petite vampire appear.

"Alice." I greeted her, keeping my eyes on Bella for any reactions she may have to Alice.

"Edward." _Don't be such a sourpuss. She _will_ like me, too._ I suppressed a sigh, and introduced them.

"Alice, Bella-Bella, Alice," I gestured to the both of them with my hand, a sarcastic smile plastered on my face.

"Hello, Bella! It's nice to finally meet you." _Sorry it wasn't sooner; my worrywart brother won't let me talk to you…_

I glanced at her, tension rolling off of me in waves, as Bella replied with a shy "Hi, Alice."

"Are you ready?" _We should go soon, say your goodbyes._

"Nearly. I'll meet you at the car." As she walked away, Bella's eyes followed her, her eyes infinitesimally widening at her graciousness.

"Should I say 'have fun,' or is that the wrong sentiment?" She asked, bringing her eyes back to meet mine. I didn't hold back on the smile that spread across my face.

"No, 'have fun' works as well as anything."

"Have fun, then." Her failed attempt at sounding earnest made my smile widen

"I'll try, and you try to be safe, please." The sarcastic look she gave me was hilarious, I had to fight hard not to burst out laughing.

"Safe in Forks-what a challenge."

"For you it _is_ a challenge. Promise." My face tensed without me realizing it.

"I promise to try to be safe," she recited, as if she were repeating an apology she'd said way too many times for her liking. "I'll do the laundry tonight…that ought to be fraught with peril."

"Don't fall in!" I couldn't help my mocking grin from spreading from ear to ear.

"I'll do my best." I fought back a sigh, and stood up. She mimicked my motion; a look of sadness crossed her features. "I'll see you tomorrow," she said, sighing.

"It seems like a long time to you, doesn't it?" She nodded, dejected, and I couldn't help but feel the same way. Although, I'll be seeing her a lot sooner than she'll be seeing me. "I'll be there in the morning," I reassured her, smiling. I reached across the table before actually deciding to do so, and slowly brushed the skin of her cheekbone. I turned around before I did anything more and followed after Alice. I watched in the minds of onlookers as she Bella watched me, still standing, her face a mask of sadness, as I walked away.

As I walked towards the car, I watched as Alice went through her visions of us searching for Bella's keys. When I got in the Volvo, she had a vision of us finding them in the pocket of a pair of Bella's pants under a pile of dirty clothes in her laundry room.

_Piece of cake_, she grinned at me. I shook my head and chuckled. I hopped into the driver's seat and set off towards Bella's home.

**So I hope you liked it. I'm not sure when I'll be writing more, but I will when I can. I would also like to thank Rose Virgo, ****twolden77****, and ****hhoward**** for your awesome reviews! They are much appreciated!! Ttfn!**

**-moonstruckmanda**


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay…so I won't go into detail about WHY I took a long ass time, because that's just a boring old story, and you've waited long enough to read this…I won't take up more of your time. :P Thanks so much to my lovely reviewers, Rose Virgo, twolden77, and hhoward, and to those that have favourited me! You guys make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and stuff. :P Anyways, so without further ado… The next chapter!**

We got to Bella's house, and went straight to the laundry room. Alice went through the pile of laundry, while I was thinking about what horrors tomorrow might hold. This may be the last safe day of Bella's life. The last time I'd be in this house. The last night I watched Bella sleep. Alice found her keys and turned to me, shaking the keys in triumph, but stopped once she saw the look on my face.

"We'll discuss this once we've hunted." She said simply, but her eyes glazed over, and I watched the vision in her head. It was of me, in Bella's room, heaving quiet sobs. At first I froze, my thoughts automatically thinking this was of me once I killed her tomorrow, but as I looked closer, I looked the same as I did today. I took this as a sign of my decision, and ran upstairs. _Edward, stop_, Alice thought, as she followed me, but I needed to see her room. I opened the door, and breathed in her scent…ow. Good thing I'm about to go hunting. I looked around taking in everything around me, holding back the sobs that I felt rising in me. Bella's shabby computer, her tiny messy bed, her piles of books.

_Are you freaking KIDDING me?!_ I turned to see Alice as she sprinted to Bella's tiny closet, shaking her head in disgust. _I knew she didn't have much style, but THIS…I swear, Edward, the second you're with this girl, I'm getting her a whole new wardrobe. This is absolute insanity._

I stopped listening to her. It was ridiculous to plan shopping trips with a girl that might die tomorrow. Die tomorrow, because I would kill her. Me. I would kill the only woman I've ever loved more than a sister or mother. The only woman that could hold my interest like she does, the only woman that could surprise me the way she does, the only woman that could take my breath away with just a smile…

I fell to my knees, but fought the sobs. I would have plenty of time for wallowing once tomorrow was over. There was a little voice in the back of my head yelling at me.

_Why won't you leave her alone? Why don't you just break this date off? Wait until you're sure of yourself…or run. Run, and never look back._

I could wait. But I didn't want to. Bella _wanted_ to spend the day with me. She _wanted_ to be with me. At least, that's what she says. How could I deny her something that she so clearly wants? She had said yes to me, but that might be my fault. Perhaps I should have explained to her better. She knows I want to kill her, but she doesn't know how much, or how easily it would be to do so. She doesn't know that I'm ready to spring at her at any unsuspecting moment; she doesn't know how strong her blood is to me. I'll explain tomorrow in the meadow…if she lives long enough for me to.

_Edward…what are you doing?_ I looked up to see Alice looking at me, but not seeing me. I searched her mind for what she was seeing, and gasped in shock, not believing what I was really seeing. Alice's two visions, the same, only different. The vision of Bella, dead, pale, and broken in my arms, becoming fuzzier, smokier, while the vision of Bella in the passenger seat of her truck while I drove her home was becoming clearer. More stable.

"How are you doing that, Edward? What are you deciding?"

"I…haven't decided…anything," I stammered, going over the thoughts that were just played in my head.

"Edward, you _must_ have decided something… what were you thinking about?" she was trying to piece it together just as hard as I was. I let out a sigh.

"I was thinking about how I couldn't just run away; Bella wants me here. I want me here. It hurts too much… causes too much pain being apart. You must know what that's like, right? Being apart from Jasper? I can't imagine it. Maybe if I could just explain to her how dangerous I really am, show her the monstrous part of me…" I raised my right eyebrow as Alice grinned at me. A smile is hardly the normal reaction anyone would have to this type of conversation.

"Edward, don't you understand? I don't see… I don't see her asking you to leave if you decide to show her how dangerous you are, but I see her staying alive. You must show her how powerful you are, that's the key to her survival somehow. To your restraint." I couldn't exactly put those two together, how my scaring her wouldn't send her running, but would keep her alive, but if that's what Alice saw, then that's what I'll have to do. At this point, I'd take any chances I could to keep my sweet Bella alive. "We need to go. We've already cut out an hour of hunting time. Or you could always skip your midnight visit with Bella…" I let out a low warning growl. "That's what I thought. Let's go."

"Just one more thing," I called out as I fled down the stairs. I dashed into the kitchen and pulled out the drawer that holds Bella and Charlie's pens and pencils, and the pad of paper used to write phone messages on. I thought about what to write on it.

_Dear Bella: If you're reading this, I'm out on my "trip" and therefore, not with you. You can be sure that I'm thinking about you right now, wishing that I were right beside you, holding your hand. I'm also worrying about you, and if you let anything at all happen to you while I'm gone, I'll never forgive you. Please keep yourself out of trouble; you hold my life, as well as yours, in your hands._

Hmm. A bit too much?

_Be safe._ There, that about says it all. I wrote it down, tore the paper off and stuffed the pad and pen back in the drawer.

"Overprotective, are we?" Alice raised her eyebrow, but her smile canceled it out. "Come on, enough stalling. You're driving the truck, I can't stand that thing."

I hate this truck. Alice has driven back and forth between the school and myself six times already. She'll pass me, speed her way to the school, turn around and come back to find me, honk, laugh at the annoyed and slightly pained look on my face, and speed off again. So much for immortal patience. How does Bella live like this?

Finally, I reached the school. I parked in my spot, and left the note for Bella in the front seat. I almost kissed it, but Alice would probably tell Jasper, who would tell Emmett, and those two would never let me live that down. I put the keys in the ignition, and because I obviously can't help myself, I spy on Bella. She should still be in Biology, and the movie should be over by now, so of course who else would be staring at her so intently?

_I wonder if she'll let me walk her to gym today. Cullen's not here, this might be my one chance to…_

I'll at least admit that this child is extremely persistent. But then again, I would have been as well if Bella had denied me, wouldn't I have? No, I would have let her be. Maybe Mr. Banner would have a better view of her. I searched for his mind, he's a bit quieter to me than Mike Newton is.

_Ten minutes…and then last class. That's all that's left, and I can go home and veg out._ Ah, there she is, sitting in his peripheral vision.

My breath caught as Mr. Banner turned his head to watch the kids sitting at the desk next to ours, and Bella's face became more focused. She was slouching, her arms crossed and laying on the desk. She looked so sad, and so lonely. Could this be my fault? She looked fine this morning, in a good enough mood…but she did look a bit sad when I left. That was nothing to how she looked now, almost depressed. What could cause her so much pain?

"What's wrong, Edward?" _What's taking him so long?_ Alice was practically bouncing on her toes waiting impatiently for me, but I couldn't concentrate on her. I watched in horror as Bella's eyes looked down at the desk, then to my empty seat, back down to her desk, and she sighed. I'm causing her that pain. I started walking towards her immediately, my pace a little too quick for a human, but Alice grabbed my arm and held me back. "Edward, we need to go. _Now_."

I growled, but in defeat. I knew we didn't have time for me to go see her, and it would be a little suspicious if I showed up out of nowhere for the last ten minutes of class. I sighed, and got into the passenger seat of the car. I didn't want to drive when I knew it would be driving away from her.

"Alice…" I started, my voice sounded like I was pleading, and in pain, but she held her hand up.

"I said we'll discuss this afterwards. You need to hunt, and if we get into this discussion now, we won't stop in time for us to hunt." What did she mean by that? Wouldn't that mean, though, that if we discussed it after I hunted, there'd be no time to visit Bella? Who knows how much time I really have left with her? Alice started thinking the lyrics to Black Hole Sun, but I couldn't bring myself to be annoyed with her for blocking her thoughts. I didn't exactly want to see her visions of me slaughtering my only love.

As soon as we got out of the car, Alice shot off to the west. Hunting would be so much easier if I had visions of exactly where my pretty would be, too. I ran into the forest and stopped, listening and taking in big deep breaths trying to find something that wasn't completely repulsive. There was a heartbeat off to the west; the soft thrumming made it sound like a small female deer. Yum. I shot through the forest and found her, snapping her beck before she even knew she wasn't alone. As I drank from her, I distracted myself from the unsatisfying taste by searching for another animal.

Its just my luck that I didn't find a mountain lion or a bear. As soon as I finished with my third deer, this one at least a large male, Alice was beside me.

"You're so slow."

"Its not my fault I can't cheat," I replied with the best attempt at a smile I could muster, which ended up being more of a grimace. We ran back to the car and I listened as she started thinking pretty hard about how tomorrow was going to go. I ran a little farther away from her, her hard thinking was pretty loud. We got back into the car, this time me in the driver's seat, and just sat there thinking and planning.

_It's too bad I'm not already friends with her. I could have found an outfit that would compliment her, as well as cover up most of her veins. Maybe splash her with some unappealing perfume. Would I get the chance to do that in her sleep? Maybe Edward will, he would probably agree to anything that would keep her alive_."

"I would, but that doesn't exactly help any other times I'm around her if she's not bathed in perfume."

_That's true. So tomorrow is it, then. The day that judges whether they can be together or…not._ A flash of Bella's lifeless body was pulled from her memory, but she shoved it back as quickly as it had come. _But what if tomorrow goes as planned/ What if she lives. What then, Edward?_

"I don't know. Do you think it would be wise to…discuss that, and get our hopes up?"

_Yes…I think it might help. Well, you know how Carlisle and Esme would feel about it. They'd be thrilled, and obviously I would be as well. I'm not sure where Emmett stands, I don't think he'd be too put out. Jasper is who I'm worried about most, if you brought her around the house a lot that might be hard for him, but having the scent of human blood linger where he spends most of his time might also help…he's also worried about Bella._

I snorted. "Worried about Bella. How so?" I tried keeping the sarcasm out of my voice, but failed.

"Don't e like that. He was just worried about having to move again, he wants to protect me. He's almost as overprotective of me as you are of Bella. But he _is_ worried about her. He's worried that he might not be able to control himself if he's constantly around her. Especially since killing her would kill you."

I rolled my eyes, but I knew she was right. I'd heard him worrying about it in his mind, about testing his self-control. But I couldn't just keep her away from my family, I think Alice would have a heart attack, if that were possible.

_And then there's the Volturi…_ I hissed at the name. _Edward, it's not like they could find out unless one of us went to them. They have no business here, I don't see them paying a visit, but we have to talk to the family about that. We don't want to chance one of us going to the Volturi and letting Bella's knowledge of vampires slip. She, as well as us, would be destroyed._

I started the car. It was getting late, and I was getting impatient, I wanted to see Bella.

_Wait_. I looked at her, and she took a big breath and let it out as a sigh and looked me straight in the eyes. _I don't want you to go see Bella tonight._

"_What?1_" I hissed. How could I _not_ go see her?

_Just listen. Think about it. You could go earlier tomorrow morning, to get yourself used to the scent, instead of staying the whole night._

"But _why_, Alice? What good would it do me?"

_Think about it. Think about not being with her. How much it hurts not to be near her…_

I groaned. I knew where she was going with this, and I didn't want to hear the rest. I covered my ears, as childish as that may be. I didn't want to listen, because she was right. Her plan made sense. If I spent tonight without her…if I spent every second of every minute of every hour thinking about her _not_ laying by my side, peaceful and safe, I would have a small fraction of knowledge of what it would be like being without her, always. If I hurt her tomorrow, I hurt myself, and if I stay home tonight and drown myself in the feeling that comes with being without her, I would be less inclined to taste her. I uncovered my ears and looked at my sister. She felt bad about asking this of me, but she would go to any lengths to keep Bella alive, and she knew I would, as well. She smiled when she had a vision of me curled up in a ball on the couch in my room.

"I'm glad my pain makes you happy," I said, hoping that she'd hear the joking tone in my stuff voice. She didn't.

"You know your pain is my pain, that's exactly why I'm doing this. You need to be prepared, and you can't _not_ see the logic in this plan." I nodded. "So let's go. Maybe I should take Jasper out tonight…you're not going to be the happiest person to be near, I'm sure he'll want to go hunting or something."

"I want to talk to him first." A single eyebrow of hers shot up, and she saw what I wanted to discuss with him.

"Don't be too hard on him." I nodded, and started the drive back to our house.

When we got there, I was lucky to find that Emmett and Rosalie were elsewhere, doing god knows what, and Carlisle was still at work. Good. Jasper would most likely not want an audience for this conversation, and from his thoughts he was expecting it.

_Even if he just asks me to leave the house when she comes here, this probably won't be the only time she'll be over. If she lives through tomorrow and stays human, am I supposed to just wait until she's not around all the time to join my family? From how Edward was acting when Charlotte and Peter came to visit, I should at the very least expect the same treatment. He also made it quite clear to me previously that he will go to any lengths to keep her safe…I can understand that, but if they are together all the time and I'm not allowed to be near her…when will I ever get to see my brother?_

As I listened to my brother's thoughts, I couldn't help but feel awful about the position he feels I've put him in. He is my brother, and he is a vegetarian, even though he has trouble with this diet, he is strong enough and I trust him. I ran up to his room and knocked, more for courtesy than actual need. He knew I was there. He called out for me to enter.

"I trust you've come to talk to me about the Bella situation." I grimaced slightly at his wording, but softened my face in an effort to reassure him.

"Brother, I didn't mean for you to worry so much. It's true, I am a small bit worried, but I just ask that you keep a safe enough distance so that you don't feel overly tempted."

"What do you mean by keeping a 'safe distance'?"

"Nothing like what you've been thinking. Simply not standing right beside her-unless you're sure you can handle the closeness."

I assed the last part for his sake, but he just chuckled.

"I think I'll just keep my distance for now."

We spoke for a little while longer, but eventually Alice came upstairs and instantly had his full attention. There goes my distraction. I spent about twenty seconds wandering around the house, four minutes debating whether or not I should just go visit Bella despite Alice and my plans, and fourteen more seconds trying to play the piano before I gave up with my distractions and headed up to my room to wait for tomorrow to arrive.

If I thought high school was my own personal purgatory, I was severely mistaken. I sat still as a stone on my couch with my arms wrapped around my legs and my chin resting on my knees. My eyes were closed to better see my Bella, and her bottle cap was resting in my pocket. Hours weren't just hours, but minutes, and minutes weren't just minutes, but seconds. Time that seemed to completely stand still passed by and I had never before wished so much that I could just sleep. Hearing nothing but a ticking clock, seeing nothing but my sweet Bella's soulful eyes or her heart shaped face, I wondered if it were possible for a vampire to drive himself to insanity.

I didn't even notice Alice had entered my room until she was dragging me to my feet and shoving clothes in my face.

"If you start getting ready now, you'll arrive there right on time."

That's all she needed to say to snap me out of my depressed state. I was ready and out the door in forty seven seconds.

After a minute and a half of running, completely euphoric about finally seeing my Bella again, I slowed as the realization of what I was about to do hit me. I was racing to Bella's possible demise. I ran at a steady pace the rest of the way, focusing on controlling every movement my body made. When I reached her house, I peered at the sky. We need to get going, the sun will be making an appearance soon. I sniffed the air, it brought a slight discomfort to my lungs but her scent wasn't too strong out here. It would be worse in the car…

I heard her turn a tap off, and took that as my cue to knock. I heard her quick intake of breath, her rushing to the door, her struggle to unlock the door, and watched as it was yanked open with a little more force than necessary.

And there she was. I stood frozen, only noticing in the back of my mind my almost uncontrollable need for her blood, as I looked at her. So beautiful. She let the breath she had been holding in out with a sigh, and her face smoothed out into a look of pure calm. As I looked, I noticed that her outfit matched mine. Tan sweater over a white t-shirt and blue jeans. Ah, Alice. I couldn't help the chuckle that escaped my lips as I greeted my sweet Bella.

"Good morning."

**Yay. I uploaded. (Finally. You probably wanna kill me for taking over a month. Amirite?) Well, tell me what you think! Thank you for reading, I'll try to post the AWESOMESAUCE meadow scene as soon as I can but ouch, it's gunna take a while. That scene's gunna be hard…but so much fun! ;) Later!**

**-moonstruckmanda**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey, so I'm currently staying at my brother's place, and he doesn't have Word Doc. Cause he's a noob like that. =] Also, I'm taking care of his kids while I'm here, so I'm gunna be writing on and off, but here's what I wrote last night. Sorry for all the spelling errors that I'm sure this is completely filled with, and sorry its so short. :P But enjoy! Unfortuantely, it's not the full meadow scene..just more leading up to it...but I felt like writing, and I felt like posting. So hah! Deal with it. Thanks again to Rose Virgo, twolden77 and hhoward! (Yes, you're famous! :P lol)**

**-moonstruckmanda**

A look of pure horror flashed in her eyes as her eyebrows knit together. "What's wrong?" she asked, looking herself over. This only made me laugh again.

"We match." She noticed then that we did, indeed, match, and started into a fit of giggles. I thought I heard something unnatural in her laugh, though...nervousness, maybe?

She locked her front door and walked with me to her truck, tripping slightly once trying to keep up with me. I'd have to remember to walk even slower with her when we were on our hike.

Her truck. This stupid truck will be the death of me, if dying from boredom was really even possible. Not that I'm not already dead. And to top it all off, I'm not even driving. Bella will be, and she's human. She could run off the road, or crash into another car...I'm granite, I'll survive. She's flesh...not so much.

"We made a deal," she stated, sounding almost smug, as she made her way around the truck and got into the driver's seat. She reached over and unlocked my door. "Where to?" She started the car, and inched her foot close to the gas pedal...without putting her seatbelt on. How was I supposed to keep this human safe if she did nothing but attract danger...or make stupid mistakes?

"Put your seatbelt on." I instructed, trying to hide the annoyance that came with having to actually tell her to do so. She did as I asked, though.  
I braced myself to take my first breath. Not that holding myself on to the truck door would stop me if I finally gave in and decided to spring. Slowly, I breathed in. It burned, hard, especially since I didn't spend the night with her. Damn Alice and her logic.

"Where to?" she sighed, and I told her where to go.

Bella was absolutely adorable when she tried to focus on the road. Her eyebrows were knit together, and her eyes were quinted infinitesimally. She was constantly peeking at her side and rear view mirrors, intentionally not looking my way. But I didn't mind. It gave me the freedom to stare at her.

Unfortunately, being a vampire, I noticed everything other than Bella sitting right beside me, as well. Such as how impossibly slow she was driving.

"Were you planning to make it out of Forks before nightfall?" I asked, not even really trying to hide the irritation from my voice.

"This truck is old enough to be your car's grandfather. Have some respect." I tried to fight back my chuckle, because it was so true, and because she obviously loved this truck enough to defend it, despite its many flaws. How anyone could like this truck was beyond me, but she did.  
We were inching along, but we were getting somewhere. "Turn right on the one-ten," I instructed when I saw the road coming up. "Now we driev until the pavement ends," I said smiling, knowing that would confuse her.

"And what's there, at the pavement's end"

"A trail." Not that we would be taking that trail, but I didn't want her fear of getting lost change her mind about today. She used the trail behind her house before, obviously she isn't big on trecking through a forest without knowing exactly where she is. I'd know, but she wouldn't. She'll just have to trust me. Because that's the smart thing to do, trust the vampire that wants her blood more than any other blood in the world to lead you deep into a forest where no one else could possibly be.

"We're hiking?" she asked with slight panic. It would make sense that she'd be a little paniced, she was, after all, extremely clumsy, and I doubt that would be a very great trait to have when walking through a forest. Very, very slowly with her, then.

"Is that a problem"

"No." she answered to quick, and her voice shaked a small bit.

"Don't worry, it's only five miles or so," her eyebrows raised, "and we're in no hurry," I added so she'd feel more comfortable knowing that we'd have time to trip over a few branches.

She didn't say anything else, and I was yet again consumed with the great unknown that was her mind. I would at least be fine with her having her father's mind, I could at least get something from that, but no, she's completely blocked. A blank page. It was driving me insane.

"What are you thinking?" I asked, hoping to draw some sort of small picture on the blank page that is the love of my life.

"Just wondering where we're going," she answered, almost too casually.

"Its a place I like to go when the weather is nice," I told her, glancing up at the sky. The sun should be showing in the meadow by now.

"Charlie said it would be warm today."

"And did you tell Charlie what you were up to?"

"Nope." I bit back my sigh, at least her 'friend' knows who she's with.

"But Jessica thinks we're going to Seattle together?" If nothing else, that gives me incentive to bring her back.

"No, I told her you canceled on me...which is true."

...?!

"No one knows you're with me?!" This has got to be a joke, she can't be serious. Does she not understand how dangerous that is? Why would she...?!

"That depends. I assume you told Alice?" Because obviously Alice would alert the authorities if Bella went missing.

"That's very helpful, Bella," I snapped at her. Usually I'd regret being so harsh towards her, but this is her life we're talking about here! Is she suicidal? Is that's what's going on? "Are you so depressed by Forks that it's made you suicidal?"

"You said it might cause trouble for you, us being together publicly."

...Seriously?

"So you're worried about the trouble it might cause ME...if YOU don't come HOME?!" She just nodded, staring at the road in front of her.

"I might as well just get this over with and kill you now, because if I don't, you'll find some other way to do the job." I regretted the words as soon as they came out, but I said it a little quick for her ears, and really quiet, so I doubt she caught any of that, but even if she did, she ignored it. The rest of the ride was spent with her focusing on the road, driving towards her doom, and me silently cursing how selfless she was.I should just jump out of the truck and run home now. Its not like she'd be able to catch me.

When we got to the end of the road, I watched her get out and start to pull her sweater off. I suppose that's what a human would do, it felt quite warm outside today. My eyes were fixated on the small line of skin between where her shirt ended and where her jeans started that was exposed as she lifted her sweater up off of her, and I needed to look away quickly. I got out of the truck and pulled my own sweater off. I unbuttoned my shirt so that when we got to the clearing and the sun it me, she'd see that all of me was covered in rediculous rainbows and sparkles, not just my face. Maybe once she sees for herself how different I am, she'll understand that she shouldn't be around me.

I was facing where we'd start as I glanced behind myself at Bella, who was staring at me.

"This way." Her eyes widened a small bit, and her heartbeak picked up.

"The trail?" She was panicing, I was right.

"I said there was a trail at the end of the road, not that we were taking it," I answered her, keeping my voice calm to try and reassure her.

"No trail?" She breathed out, clearly not calming down.

"I won't let you get lost." I turned around to start walking towards her to lead her in, but stopped when I saw her face. Her facial expression went from panic, to shock, to something I didn't recognize in her eyes, to despair. Had she just thought about something that made her realize just how stupid of a mistake this was that she was making? She wanted to leave. That much was clear on her face.

"Do you want to go home?" I asked, trying to hide how awful I felt about scaring her, and how painful it was for me to take her home after all that I've tried to do to make this day possible.

"No." No? Well, then what thought is torturing her so much?

"What's wrong?" Something was bothering her, that was obvious.

"I'm not a good hiker. You'll have to be very patient." I could tell by the look on her face, she wasn't telling me the whole story. Maybe if I could make her smile...

"I can be patient...if I make a great effort," I said, smiling at her, but she failed her attempt at an ingenuine smile. She doesn't want to be here.

"I'll take you home." I wasn't sure what she'd take that as, I wasn't even sure what I meant by that. Now? Or...

My train of thought was inturrupted by an annoyed look on her face.

"If you want me to hack five miles through the jungle before sundown, you'd better start leading the way." I was caught off guard by her acidic tone. I didn't know what to say, so I just turned around and started in towards the meadow.

At first, I didn't try to start a conversation because I was still confused as to Bella's odd moods. Then, I didn't start talking because the sight of Bella surrounded by leaves and branches, a natural beauty surrounded by beautiful nature, took my breath away. Every time I'd turn around to lift a particularily low branch, or some moss that was in our way up so that she could walk easily under it, she'd look up at me with her stunning smile lighting up her face, and I'd be at a loss for words.

I'd finally get around to asking her some questions about herself, and then be interrupted by a fallen tree or a stray boulder. I'd brace myself, cautiously and carefully lift her by her elbows, place her on the other side of the boulder or tree, and set her back down. This, however, was not the reason that I was unable to speak. The reason was her reaction to my touching her.

First, she would try to look away from me when I turned around to pick her up, but would occasionally sneak a glance at my eyes or my exposed chest, which would immediately make me feel self consious, which is absolutely rediculous considering I'm over one hundred years old, and these feelings should be long gone for me by now. Then, what would really render me speechless was how her heartbeat would triple its pace the milesecond our skin met. The heartbeat didn't really cause me too much pain, considering why it was beating so fast, it only caused me happiness.

If I could have blushed, I would have.

She would blush, though, and look down, then look back up at me from underneath her eyelashes and smile sheepishly.

Other than that, though, and the little bits of conversation that either left me smiling largely or laughing louder than I have in a century that I had stopped trying to start because it was nice to walk with her in a peaceful silence, the five hours went by uneventful. I was surprised, though, by how easily it was for me to walk so slowly with her. Usually, I'd be incredibly impatient, but this pace with her by my side felt absolutely right. This day felt perfect.

That was, until I saw the sun peaking through the trees far ahead of us, and was reminded of what was to come. I was brought back down from my happy cloud and continued on to our destination.

Here we go.

**Dunno when the next chapter will be up. Hope you enjoyed!**


	6. Chapter 6

**So, yeah. I had a LOT more...like, I was almost finished the meadow scene... and I have this thing where I save whatever I have every few paragraphs just in case my computer crashes, but I forgot to do that for a while, and LOW AND BEHOLD...my computer crashes.  
Happy happy joy joy.  
BUT, at least I didn't lose Everything. Sooo... here's what I had.  
(And thanks to my reviewers, twolden77, rose virgo & hhoward - I feed off your words!!)**

**Still don't own twilight.**

**  
-moonstruckmanda**

"Are we there, yet?" She asked jokingly. Obviously, her sour mood had passed, and she was once again looking forward to spending the day with me. I smiled, despite my worries, because she was, at the moment, happy.

"Nearly. Do you see the brightness ahead?" She looked up, and frowned, furrowing her brows.

"Um, should I?" Hmm. Human eyes must be worse than I remember, I saw the sun about fifteen minutes ago.

"Maybe its a bit soon for your eyes." I didn't even try to hide my smirk. She rolled her eyes.

"Time to visit the optometrist," she muttered sarcastically. I think the smirk on my face couldn't get any bigger.

After about another hundred yards or so, Bella started walking faster. Her heart rate pocked up slightly. She was staring at the clearing, she must see it now. I let her take the leead, nervous about her seeing me in the sunlight.I could bet that whatever she expects, it's not that.

Bella stepped through the last couple of ferns and entered my meadow. She gasped as she took it all in; I didn't blame her, it was beautiful, but my thoughts were not of the various wildflowers or the warm sun overhead.

Well, technically, it was of the sun, but more of me in the sun.

I stayed in the shadows waiting for her to finish admiring the meadow.

When she turned around, she didn't see me at first. When she spotted me, her slightly paniced look turned to one of knowing and expectation. She took a step toward me and smiled, but I didn't feel ready for the possible fear or disgust that she might feel towards me. She beckoned for me to come to her with her hand, and started to take a hesitant step towards me, but I held my hand up to stop her. She paused and rocked backward onto her heels.

This is it. The first of today's worries. Bella is the most important thing in this world to me, and I've become so attatched and so in love...if she ran away from me now, it might destroy me. And if she doesn't run away, will I kill her? I'd much rather her scared than.

Oh well, time to get this over with. I took a deep breath, and stepped out into the sun.

Her heart missed six of its beautiful, luscious beats. Six. I was panicing at two. She was frozen, only her eyes moving, searching my skin, roaming up and down my chest, to my hands, then back up to my face.

She wasn't running yet.

This was the only fact that kept me from running myself. It also kept me from running to her-I didn't want to overwhelm her, and so here I stood at the edge of my meadow, in al my sparkling madness, waiting for the woman I love to speak.

It was quiet for three minutes whlie she looked me over.

"You're..." She seemed to be at a loss for words at my monstrosity.

My face fixed itself on a look of sheer pain and disgust.

"Wrong? Hiddeous? A monster?" Her eyes got wider at every word I said. She shook her head slowly. She took a deep breath and said the last thing I'd expect to hear come out of her mouth in this situation.

"Stunningly beautiful." She stated clearly but timidly. Her cheeks turned a delicious faint pink, but she kept her eyes on mine.

Stunningly...beautiful? Did she really just call me that? Stunningly beautiful. She looked like she meant it...I stopped myself before I scoffed at her.  
Stunningly beautiful.

I knew what I was, and I was not beautiful.

But then why would she react this way? Would she lie to spare my feelings? I did dazzle her, so I must be somewhat physically attractive to her. I think. This would be a ton easier if I could just read her mind.

She was still staring at me.

What do I do now? Do I thank her and forget it? Accuse her of lying? Pretend like I didn't hear her? Inform her on just how beautiful she was?  
She shifted her weight from one foot to the other. She had been standing frozen for a while, now. I sat down on the grass, but she just stood and watched my movements. I looked up at her, and she seemed to snap out of some sort of daze and slowly sat down beside me.

The wind picked up a little and blew her hair across her face. Just the sight of her...there were no words to fully explain how gorgeous she was.  
She sighed and smiled lightly.

"What are you thinking?" She blushed and shook her head slowly.

"It's nothing," she answered, still smiling.

Frustrating. Always, always frustrating.

"Please, will you tell me?" she let out a soft chuckle.

"Nope," she popped the 'p', and her smile grew wider. I sighed, closed my eyes and laid back. I listened to her breathing, memorized her heartbeat, heard her hair swaying in the breeze.

I oopened my eyes to find her still staring at me. It gave me the impression that she actually did somehow find my sparkling...'stunningly beautiful', but it wasn't to me.

I watched her watching me for a long time. She seemed content enough to sit with me in silence. She didn't take her eyes off of me, but I didn't take mine off of her, either.I greedily drank in her sight, memorizing her already completely memorized face, until it almost hurt to look at her, she was too perfect. I closed my eyes.

I played her lullaby in my head, but I felt like singing.

She made me feel like singing.

I went through song after song in my mind until I landed on the perfect one that reminded me of her and I...of our situation.

_I'm not a perfect person _

_There's many things I wish I didn't do _

_But I continue learning _

_I never meant to do those things to you _

_And so I have to say before I go _

_That I just want you to know_

_I've found a reason for me _

_To change who I used to be _

_A reason to start over new _

_and the reason is you_

"What are you doing, Edward? Your lips keep moving...really fast, but I can't hear anything"

"I'm singing to myself, but it's too quiet for human ears to hear. And too fast for you to understand." What would she think if she knew I was singing a love song, that was a pretty much dulled down explanation of how I felt about her...I don't want to find out. I closed my eyes again and breathed in her scent, continuing.

_I'm sorry that I hurt you _

_It's something I must live with everyday _

_And all the pain I put you through _

_I wish that I could take it all away _

_And be the one who catches all your tears _

_Thats why i need you to hear_

_I've found a resaon for me _

_To change who I used to be _

_A reason to start over new _

_and the reason is You, and the reason is You _

_and the reason is You , and the reason is You_

I'll tell her all of this some day. Exactly how I feel.

_I'm not a perfect person _

_I never meant to do those things to you _

_And so I have to say before I go _

_That I just want you to know_

_I've found a reason for me _

_To change who I used to be _

_A reason to start over new _

_and the reason is you_

_I've found a reason to show _

_A side of me you didn't know _

_A reason for all that I do _

_And the reason is you_

Time seemed to stop when she was around. Her scent was affecting me less and less, and I seemed to be drawn closer and closer to her, but we didn't move. She still haven't looked at anything but me, at least not while my eyes were open.

I topened my eyes again to check, and, yes, she was still looking at me. I closed my eyes again, matching my breathing to hers.

After a while, I heard movement from her. My eyes flashed open to see her reaching out to my hand. She used her index finger to gently stroke the back of my hand back and forth. It felt like she was leaving a trail of harmless fire in her finger's wake, while making my entire body pulse with electricity and only making me want more of her contact with my skin.

It amazed me how comfortable she felt with me. She looked up at me then, and I smiled.

"I don't scare you?" I asked, trying to hide the dead seriousness in my voice, but I think she picked up on it.

"No more than usualy," I smiled, but part of the reason for that smile was to flash my teeth at her and see if she was lying or not.  
Instead of widening eyes or an accelerated heart beat, she moved closer to me.

She wasn't lying at all.

She stretched her entire hand out, and with slightly trembling hands, traced patterns on my forearm. The fire spread, and the pulse beat like a drum. I closed my eyes, enjoying the sensation.

Was this how my brothers felt when my sisters touched them? If so, they never spoke nor thought of it.

"Do you mind?" she asked softly.  
"No, you can't imagine how that feels," I told her, but then wondered if she felt something like this herself when she touched me. Obviously she couldn't feel the fire, could she? My skin was ice cold.

I heard movement again and looked up to see her reaching to turn my hand over with her other hand. I flipped my hand over, with vampire speed, and startled her. I was too focussed on helping her, she wouldn't be able to move my hand without my help, and completely forgot to slow down my movement for her.

"Sorry..." she looked up at me and I instantly closed my eyes, "It's too easy to be myself with you"

She tried to lift my hand, and I let her. She studied it, bringing it closer to her face, shifting it this way and that. Her eyebrows were slightly pulled together in concentration.

"Tell me what you are thinking," I pleased with her quietly. She looked up at me. "It's still so strange for me, not knowing," she smirked a little.

"You know, the rest of us feel that way all the time"

That was true. But it's still strange. I would, however, trade my ability to become human again. At least then, I'd still be unable to hear her, but I'd be able to be with her properly.

"It's a hard life," I muttered, bit back my sigh and tried to change my tone. "But you still didn't tell me"

"I was wishing I could know what you were thinking..." she trailed off hesitantly.

"And"

"I was wishing that I could believe you were real," she didn't believe I was real? Is that why she isn't afraid of me? "And I was wishing that I wasn't afraid," she admitted, quietly.

She was afraid.

Of course she was. She should be.

"I don't want you to be afraid," I half-whispered, wanting to promise that she shouldn't be.

"Well, that's not exactly the fear I meant, though that's certainly something to think about"

I propped myself up on my right arm and her eyes widened, but went back to normal size right afterwards. I then realized that I, again, had used vampire speed.

Then I realized that our faces were just inches apart. What was I going to say again? Oh, right.

And as I was asking, "What are you afraid of, then?" I realized that I was extremely close to her pulsing neck.

I could see the vein. Her scent was so strong this close. So strong...and getting even stronger. And the vein was all I could see, and it looked like it was getting closer.

It was getting closer. Bella was leaning towards me, inhaling my scent.

I took this moment of distraction to rip myself away from her and run like hell. Not even caring about scaring her with my speed, I sprinted to the edge of the meadow. Just far enough away that I wouldn't be tempted, but close enough for her to know that I hadn't just run away and left her in the middle of the forest.

I looked up at the love of my life, the woman I was just about to murder, and my dead heart almost lept out of my chest at the expression on her face. She looked so hurt, slightly awed and shocked.

"I'm...sorry...Edward," she whispered, she looked like she might cry.

"Give me a moment," I called out to her, to try to reassure her, but I don't think it worked. Her expression stayed the same. I wanted to go over to her, but I needed to fully regain my control first.

Ten seconds later, I was heading back towards her. I walked slowly and carefully, trying not to scare her with my quick movements again. A couple feet away from her, I stopped and sat down. I stared into her eyes while taking a deep breath to make sure I could handle her scent. I was in control.

I took a second breath, just to be on the safe side. Still fine. I smiled apologetically.

"I am so very sorry." How should I put this... "Would you understand what I meant if I said I was only human?" Not the best way to put it, but she nodded once.

Her heart rate picked up. I smelled her fear. She understands now, she was in danger. Not that she isn't always in danger. Which reminds me, I should be telling her exactly how much danger she is in, shouldn't I?

"I'm the world's best predator, aren't I"

This won't be fun. I don't want to scare her any more than I already have.

"Everything about me invites you in - my voice, my face...even my smell. As if I need any of that!" I said, right before I jumped up and sprinted around the meadow's edge in a circle once. I stopped, looked at her, and her eyes were still trailing after me on the other side of the circle. When she finally caught up to where I was, I continued on with my rant.

"As if you could outrun me!" I laughed, and her eyes were saucers. I reached up to grab a fairly thick branch, about two feet, plucked it out of the tree. What to do with it now? Well, I could always throw it. At a tree. And that's exactly what I did. She watched as my branch hit a tree at the other end of the meadow with a loud crack.

I ran to stand right in front of her. She looked pretty scared.

"As if you could fight me off," I added gently, there's no need to scare her more than I already have. Her eyes were still wide as saucers, and she was sitting more still than I'd ever seen her.

If I had any hope that she'd be forever comfortable with me, they died when I decided to go through with Alice's foolish plan. Maybe I overdid it. Is it even possible to fix this now?

"Don't be afraid," I half instructed, half pleaded with her. "I promise..." can I promise this? I have to... "I swear not to hurt you."

I realized I was trying to convince myself of this just as much as I was her.

"Don't be afraid," i took an excruciatingly slow step towards her and sat down, trying not to scare her.

I wished she would speak, but at the same time, I was terrified of what she may have to say.

"Please forgive me, I can control myself. You caught me off guard. I'm on my best behaviour, now," I informed her, but she still said nothing.

Humor, maybe?

"I'm not thirsty today, I promise," I added a wink, and she laughed.

It wasn't even a shaky or nervous laugh. It was natural.

"Are you all right?" I placed my hand back in hers, with exaggerated slowness, it yearned for her touch.

She looked down at my hand, up to my eyes, then back down to my hand.

And then she continued to trace patterns on it. As if nothing had interrupted. As if she hadn't stopped in the first place. As if she wasn't scared.  
This woman continued to amaze me.

"So where were we, before I behaved so rudely?" I asked, trying to pick the conversation back up.

"I honestly don't remember," she answered. Drat. Well, obviously I remember with my vampire memory and all, and we were talking about how I scared her. Well, I wonder how I could possibly do that.

"I think we were talking about why you were afraid, besides the obvious reason"

"Oh, right," I had to work to hold back the impatient sigh that threatened to escape from me.

"And?" she looked down at my hands and went back to tracing random patterns on it, as if I hadn't just asked her to explain. This would be so much easier if I could just read her mind.

"How easily frustrated I am," I commented, and I didn't try to hold back my impatient sigh this time. She looked back into my eyes, and something flashed through hers.

"I was afraid...because, for, well, obvious reasons, I can't stay with you. And I'm afraid that I'd like to stay with you, much more than I should."

**Sorry for leaving off at a random point, I wrote more but it got deleted. Which sucks. Yeah. It was really great, too. *SlashCry.* But anyways, here's what was saved before my stupid computer decided to crash. Hope you liked it :)**

**ALSO. So I'm posting up a link to the song that's in this chapter on my page, cause it's awesomesauce. You should listen to it. I was listening to it a month ago and was like THAT IS SO EDWARD! Um. Yeah, that's it. Bye! :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**I know it's not much, but my brother just walked in with the Twilight dvd, and I've never seen a good copy of it, so I'mma go watch that! :P Btw, if you review, could you tell me what your op. of the movie was? I'm really interested in hearing what people think about it. My opinion..changes. a lot. depending on my mood. lol, but anyways, here it is. Thanks to Twolden77, Rose Virgo, Hhoward & Nina79 for your lovely reviews! :)**

**Don't own twilight.**

**-moonstruckmanda**

She wants to stay with me.

That thought blocked out the fact that she knew she shouldn't, she knew it was wrong almost as well as I did, for about three seconds. Three seconds of pure happiness, before I had to get back to reality. And reality was, she shouldn't stay with me.

"Yes, that is something to be afraid of, indeed. Wanting to be with me. That's really not in your best interest," she frowned, and I saw then that when I'd had the chance to leave...I should have, because if I left now it'd be hurting not only me, but her as well. "I should have left a long time ago..." I paused to sigh. "I should leave now. But I don't know if I can"

"I don't want you to leave," she whimpered, staring at the ground.

"Which is exactly why I should. But don't worry. I'm essentially a selfish creature. I crave your company too much to do what I should"

"I'm glad," she mumbled, and I nearly slipped and growled at her, but knew that would probably freak her out.

"Don't be!" I nearly yelled, drawing my hand back out away from hers, "It's not only your company I crave! Never forget that. Never forget I am more dangerous to you than I am to anyone else-" I cut myself off. My voice was harsher than I'd ever want it to be with Bella...but it was necessary, but that's not why I stopped.

Had I told her that part yet? The part where her blood calls to me...how its stronger to me than anyone else's? I stared at the tree tops. No, I hadn't.

"I don't think I understand exactly what you mean...by that last part, anyway"

I looked back at her and smiled. Where to even begin...

How do I explain? And without frightening you again. Hmm." My Bella-less hand was screaming at me to place it back in her warm hands. She responded by squeezing my hand with both hers, enveloping my iceicle hand in exquisite, soft flames. "That's amazingly pleasant, the warmth," I sighed, trying to figure out how to explain this. "You know how everyone enjoys different flavours? Some people love chocolate ice cream...others prefer strawberry?" She nodded, with a small wrinkle of her nose. Right. I'm basically calling her food. Bad example. "Sorry about the food analogy...I couldn't think of another way to explain"

She smiled at me, and I tried to smile back. "You see, every person smells different, has a different essence," Hm. An idea. "If you locked an alcoholic in a room full of stale beer, he'd gladly drink it. But he could resist, if he wished to, if he were a recovering alcoholic. Now let's say you placed in that room a glass of hundred-year-old brandy, the rarest, finest cognac..." Er... "and filled the room with its warm aroma, how do you think he would fare then"

I watched her eyes as they watched mine, understanding nowhere to be found.

"Maybe that's not the right comparison. Maybe it would be too easy to turn down the brandy. Perhaps I should have made our alcoholic a heroin addict instead"

Her eyes widened, but a small teasing smile played at the corners of her lips.

"So what you're saying is, I'm your brand of heroin"

She meant it as a joke, but she was exactly right. I smiled. "Yes, you are exactly my brand of heroin"

"Does that happen often?" I looked back at the trees, remembering my conversations with Emmett. Twice that's happened for him, and Jasper.

"I spoke to my brothers about it. To Jasper, every one of you is much the same. He's the most recent to join our family. It's a struggle for him to abstain at all. He hasn't had time to grow sensitive to the differences in smell, in flavour..." There I go again with the food analogies. I looked back at her apologetically. "Sorry"

"I don't mind. Please, don't worry about offending me, or frightening me, or whichever. That's the way you think. I can understand, or I can try to at least. Just explain however you can"

She's so understanding...and recidulously brave. I took a deep breath and went back to looking anywhere but her while I explained.

"So Jasper wasn't sure if he'd ever come across someone who was as..." As what? What could I possibly say that wouldn't frighten her? I don't think there's a way to spare her with this topic. "appealing as you are to me. Which makes me think not. Emmett has been on the wagon longer, so to speak, and he understood what I meant. He says twice, for him, once stronger than the other"

"And for you"

"Never." She seemed oddly affected by that word. It was a moment before she spoke again.

"What did Emmett do?" she asked, and I immediately looked away from her. Trust her to ask the worst question. Of course Emmett drank them, and she would probably find her answer in my expression. "I guess I know." I looked her in the eyes. I was wishing, hoping she could understand.

"Even the strongest of us fall off the wagon, don't we?" Her eyes widened even more.

"What are you asking? My permission??! ...I mean, is there no hope then?" What? No, how could she think that? Obviously there's hope, or I wouldn't be here with her right now!

"No, no! Of course there's hope! I mean, of course I won't..." How to make her see...there was a huge difference between Emmett's encounters and what we had... "It's different for us. Emmett...these were strangers he happened across. It was a long time ago, and he wasn't as...practiced, as careful, as he is now." I watched her face, as it grew more and more cautious.

"So if we'd met...oh, in a dark alley or something..." I can't lie to her...I could, but I'd feel bad about it.

"It took everything I had not to jump up in the middle of that class full of children and..." Ok, no need to give away every detail. I looked away from her eyes. "When you walked past me, I could have ruined everything Carlisle has built for us, right then and there. If I hadn't been denying my thirst for the last, well, too many years, I wouldn't have been able to stop myself"

Memories of that day flashed through my mind, one in particular. Her face, the look of fear she wore when she saw my expression, my murderous eyes. I chanced a glance at her. "You must have thought I was possessed"

"I couldn't understand why. How could you hate me so quickly"

I went through the thoughts that went through my head that first hour spent with her. So...dark.

"To me, it was like you were some kind of demon, summoned straight from my own personal hell to ruin me. The fragrance coming off your skin...I thought it would make me deranged that first day," I remembered choosing different ways to kill all the children, in what order... how to best get to Bella to drink her. "In that one hour, I thought of a hundred different ways to lure you from the room with me, to get you alone. And I fought them each back, thinking of my family, what I could do to them. I had to run out, to get away before I could speak the words that would make you follow..." I looked back at her, and she looked shocked and slightly...green. "You would have come"

"Without a doubt." She sounded so calm, but her expression gave her away. I looked down at our hands, hers still holding mine, and frowned.

"And then, as I tried to rearange my schedule in a pointless attempt to avoic you, you were there...in that close, warm little room, the scent was maddening. I so very nearly took you then. There was only one other frail human there...so easily dealt with-" I stopped myself when I saw her shiver. She shivered again after a moment...time to try to lift the mood. "But I resisted. I don't know how. I forced myself not to wait for you, not to follow you from the school. It was easier outside, when I couldn't smell you anymore, to think clearly, to make the right decision. I left the others near home...I was too ashamed to tell them how weak I was, they only knew something was very wrong. And then I went straight to Carlisle, at the hospital, to tell him I was leaving. I traded cars with him-he had a full tank of gas and I didn't want to stop. I didn't dare go home, to face Esme. She wouldn't have let me go without a scene. She would have tried to convince me that it wasn't necessary"

My voice was thick with emotion. Remembering all of this, how I'd felt, everything made me feel like I was foolish for bringing her here. For endangering her, when I so clearly desidred to drink her... It made it seem impossible for us to be together in any way.

"By the next morning I was in Alaska. I spent two days there, with some old aquaintances..." I wonder how Tanya would feel if she knew I'd found my soul mate. I'd rather not find out... "Ibut I was homesick. I hated knowing I'd upset Esme, and the rest of them, my adopted family. In the pure air of the mountains it was hard to believe you were so irresistible. I convinced myself it was weak to run away. I'd dealt with temptation before, not of this magnitude, not even close, but I was strong. Who were you, an insignificant little girl to chase me from the place I wanted to be?" I asked, grinning. I looked away again, hating to confess all of my weaknesses to her. "So I came back. I took precautions, hunting, feeding more than usual before seeing you again." Not that that helped much... "I was sure that I was strong enough to treat you like any other human. I was arrogant about it.

"It was unquestionably a complication that I couldn't simply read your thoughts to know what your reaction was to me. I wasn't used to having to go to such circuitous measures, listening to your words in Jessica's mind...her mind isn't very original, and it was annoying to have to stoop to that. And then I couldn't know if you really meant what you said. It was all extremely irritating.

I wanted you to forget my behaviour that first day, ifpossible, so I tried to talk with you like I would with any person. I was eager acutally, hoping to decipher some of your thoughts. But you were too interesting, I found myself caught up in your expressions...and every now and then you would stir the air with your hand or your hair, and the scent would stun me again...

"Of course, then you were nearly crushed to death in front of my eyes. Later I thought of a perfectly good excuse for why I acted at that moment - because if I hadn't saved you, if your blood had been spilled there in front of me, I don't think I could have dtopped myself from exposing us for what we are. But I only thought of that excuse later. Ad the time, all I could this was, 'Not Her.'"

I closed my eyes, afraid of how she would look at me. This was, after all, a lot of information to take in.

"In the hospital?" I looked intensely into her eyes.

"I was appalled. I couldn't believe I had put us in danger after all, put myself in your power. You of all people. As if I needed another motive to kill you-" It actually caused my physical pain to say that out loud. I fliched, as did she, but I continued speaking. "But it had the opposite effect. I fought with Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper when they suggested that now was the time. The worst fight we've ever had. Carlisle had sided with me, and Alice..." I grimmaced. Alice was the reason Jasper wasn't set on killing her, but Alice also saw her...as one of us. "Esme told me to do whatever I had to in order to stay." I shook my head. Esme would go to any lengths to keep us together. "All that next day I eavesdropped on the minds of everyone you spoke to, shocked that you kept your word. I didn't understand you at all. But I knew that I couldn't become more involved with you. I did my very best to stay as far from you as possible. And every day the perfume of your skin, your breath, your hair...it hit me as hard as the very first day." I looked at her again, considering wether or not to continue.

"And for all that, I'd have fared better if I had exposed us all at that first moment, than if now, here - with no witnesses and nothing to stop me-I were to hurt you."

Shockingly, rediculously, her eyebrows knit together and she asked why. Why. Why?!

"Isabella." I said, very carefully with a slightly appalled tone. I reached out and ruffled her soft, silky hair with the hand Bella didn't grip. "Bella, I couldn't live with myself if I ever hurt you. You don't know how it's tortured me. The thought of you, still, white, cold..." More, the image... "to never see you blush scarlet again, to never see that flash of intuition in your eyes when you see through my pretenses," as she so often did, "It would be unendurable. You are the most important thing to me now. The most important thing to me ever."

Her breath was quick, and her heart rate was soaring. She looked down to stare at our hands, blushing. I had just told her how I felt, I wished she'd extend the same honesty.

"You already know how I feel, of course. I'm here...which, roughly translated, means I would rather die than stay away from you." She frowned. At least she understood how foolish that sounded. But she'd rather die than stay away from me, as I'd rather die than be apart from her... "I'm an idiot."

I couldn't deny that, with the facts presented.

"You are an idiot." I laughed, and when she looked back up at me, she started to laugh as well.

How strange, predator and prey sitting here, so casually, fooling ourselves. We were in love, or at least I was, and she at least had some sort of feelings for me.

"And so the lion fell in love with the lamb." She looked away, but her heart rate picked up.

"What a stupid lamb." She sighed.

"What a sick, masochistic lion." I looked into the shadows. It was true, in a sense. This was hurting me, either way this ended up. So many options, each of them hurting me in some way.

Bella could live. If I never hurt her, I would have to live with the burning thirst forever. That would hurt.

She will eventually die...time seems so short to me, and it seems to go by so fast when I'm with her. She could be 80 years old in the blink of an eye. That would hurt.

I could turn her...destroy her soul, take her life and her choices away from her, essentially hurt the one I love. That would hurt.  
I am a sick, masochistic lion.

"Why..." I looked back at her, and she looked confused. I smiled at her in encouragement.

"Yes?"

"Tell me why you ran from me before." She...didn't understand? I thought she did.

"You know why." I stated, my smile gone.

"No, I mean exactly what did I do wrong? I'll have to be on my guard, you see, so I better start learning what I shouldn't do. This, for example," she stroked the back of my hand again. It felt like heaven on earth. "seems to be all right."

She understood, but not that it wasn't her fault. I smiled at her again.

**Thanks for reading! Time for Twilight.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Ok, seriously guys, your comments & reviews are completely blowing me away. I've got a huge smile on my face, it hasn't left me since I woke up and read them. I love them! Awesome, awesome, awesome, and so I wrote more. Hope you enjoy it, and thanks Twolden77 & Rose Virgo for answering my questions.  
Thank you Twolden77, Rose Virgo, Hhoward, angela90210, and Nina79 for your awesomely amazing words, and thanks to all that put me on their favourite list/alert/author lists :D Ok, here's what I wrote this morning:**

"You didn't do anything wrong, Bella. It was my fault." It was almost comical, how she thought that my being a monster was somehow her fault. It wasn't her fault I couldn't control myself like I should have.

"But I want to help, if I can, to not make this harder for you." Oh. Oh. This must be what Alice saw! This must be why my showing her how dangerous I was would help! Of course.

"Well..." how do I do this, though? Alice really could have given me more to go on. "It was just how close you were. Most humans instinctively shy away from us, are repelled by our alienness...I wasn't expecting you to come so close. And the smell of your throat..." I looked back at her, evaluating her expression. Nothing had changed.

"Ok, then," she said, almost a little too casually, and tucked her chin in, "no throat exposure."

If I had needed oxygen, I might have suffocated, I laughed so hard.  
"No, really, it was more the surprise than anything else"

How do I show her? Could I...get close again? No...well, I could, but I don't want to scare her again...and if it ends up that I can't controll myself this time as well, .

I raised the hand that Bella wasn't holding up and gently, as if I were about to touch a butterfly's wing, placed it on Bella's neck. She sat still, extremely still, but that did almost nothing because I could feel it.

I could feel her pulse. Right under my hand. So inviting, it beat at a quick pace. I felt the blood flow through the veins with each pump of the heart under my hand... Stop this.

"You see. Perfectly fine," Now.

She started blushing, to add insult to injury, but it wasn't hard. It was beautiful. And not the delicious kind of beautiful, the Bella kind. "The blush on your cheeks is lovely," I stated quietly. I almost unwillingly freed my second hand from Bella's grasp and watched as her hands fell limp into her lap. I brought my hand up and carefully but lovingly brushed her cheek, leaving my fingertips tingling. I pressed my hand to her cheek to hold her head between both my hands. "Be very still," I whispered.

This could be it. I was leaning my head toward her pulse. Her throat. I could lose my control any second now. Why was I even testing this? Oh, right, because I can't stand not touching her, and I wanted to prove that nothing's her fault, and I'm fine.

Am I fine? I feel fine. I can clearly see her vein, can see the blush in her cheeks, and I'm tempted...of course, I'm tempted. But I'm in control. So yes, then, I am fine. With more sure movements, I press my cheek against her throat.

I breathed in slowly, just to make sure I was completely in control, and it burned...I've been somewhat desensitized by her presense so far, but this was a new level of closeness. I was right beside my point of attack. I kept breathing, trying to get as used to her scent as possible, and it was easier. Each breath I took seemed to come in easier. Smoother. A very small amount easier, but I noticed it.

Slowly, because if I don't kill her by drinking her I might by touching her too hard, slowly, I slid my hands down from her cheeks to her neck. She shivered. I stopped breathing, and contemplated stopping my hands, but they wouldn't stop themselves. They kept going, and I seemed to still be in control, so I continued breathing.

Her skin was so unbelievably soft, so warm. It was like grazing the richest silk. My hands paused at her shoulders. I lifted my head a bit and skimmed my nose along her collarbone It felt so frail, the skin and bone there, but so wonderful. I stopped when the side of my cheek was pressed against her heart.

Her heart.

And I'm not attacking. My own personal brand of 'heroin', and my face is pressed against her heart.

And I'm not attacking.

Of course this hurt. It hurt, but it was controllable. It was tempting, also controllable. My love, I'm able to be with you closely.

"Ah," I sighed at this new realization. I could be like this with her forever, and I wouldn't attack. In fact, I would get less and less inclined to attack. She seemed fine enough to stay with me this way, she was still sitting quite still, and I was enjoying being so close. I listened to her heart as she calmed down, her pulse beating slower, and that only made being this close easier.

We stayed this way for a while, we must have looked carved out of stone...Bella was almost as still as I was. She probably needs to move...she's a human, her body isn't designed to stay so still.

And with that thought, I released her from my embrace. My hands and my cheek felt instantly cooler, away from her warmth, but not nearly as icey as they usually are. I looked at her, and she looked happy, content.

"It won't be so hard again," the words were so true, it felt like my heart was about to start beating, I felt so happy, so right.

"Was that very hard for you"

"Not nearly as bad as I imagined it would be. And you?" Surely, having a vampire pressed against your chest would be...disconcerting. And cold.

"No, it wasn't bad...for me"

"You know what I mean," I said with a smile. "Here," I took her hand to press it against my cheek, "Do you feel how warm it is?" She didn't have any reaction that I thought she would have. Instead, her heart raced, and her breath came quick. Her eyes were slightly awed as she whispered,  
"Don't move"

I immediately made myself still as stone. I closed my eyes. She started moving the hand that was on my cheek, caressing it like our places were switched and she was the one that needed to be carefule because I was the fragile one. She brought her hand up to my eyelid and ran her fingers over it, then under my eyes. Over my nose, and then, with a thudding jolt of electricity, across my lips. My lips parted of their own accord, and my breath came out in a quiet whoosh. The way her touch on my lips made me feel, it was intoxicating, and all too soon, she dropped her hands. I heard her moving away from me, and opened my eyes.

"I wish..." How do I put this so that she understands? I barely understand this myself... "I wish you could feel the...complexity...the confusion..." these seemed like the wrong words, but I couldn't bring any words to mind that would fit how I actually felt perfectly. "I feel. That you could understand." I brought my hand to her hair to brush it across her face.

"Tell me," she breathed out, and I wish I could.

"I odn't think I can. I've told you, on the one hand, the hunger-the thirst-that, deplorable creature that I am, I feel for you. And I think you can understand that, to an extent. Though..." I tried not to smile, but couldn't help myself. "as you are not addicted to any illegal substances, you probably can't empathize completely. But..." I wouldn't have tried to stop myself if I knew what I was going to do before I did it, but I touched her lips. Her soft...her lovely lips... She shivered, and her lips trembled a bit under my fingers. "There are other hungers. Hungers I don't even understand, that are foreign to me"

"I may understand that better than you think." Oh, did she now? So, she felt something close to what I'm feeling now? The want to touch her lips, her face, anything...the hunger to be close to her, to never let go? But then, these are human hungers...human instincts. Human feelings.  
"I'm not used to feeling so human. Is it always like this"

"For me?" she paused to think, "No, never. Never before this." Never before me. Was she so destined to be with me, as I was to be with her, that she couldn't be with another human? Because somehow she was only for me, she couldn't see anyone else the way she saw me? Along with the pure joy that this brought for me, It also brought sadness, because she could have been with a human if I hadn't existed, and I'm not supposed to exist. And in being with a human, she could have been as close as she wanted to be without the fear of being killed.

"I don't know how to be close to you. I don't know if I can"

She leaned forward slowly, watching my eyes, and placed her cheek against my chest. Listening to what wasn't there, my nonexistant heartbeat.  
"This is enough," she sighed, and I felt her eyelids shift on my chest. I lifted my arms and placed them carefully around her, not quite holding her for fear of putting too much pressure and, essentially, breaking her bones...but...just, having my arms around her. I pressed my face into her hair and breathed in her scent, mixed with strawberries.

"You're better at this than you give yourself credit for"

"I have human instincts-they may be burried deep, but they're there." And strong...very, very strong.

Time was stopped for me, but not for the human. A while after our conversation had died out, and we had just been sitting in that same position, I felt Bella's sigh. It wasn't a content sigh, it was a resigned sigh, she needed to start heading home.

"You have to go"

"I thought you couldn't read my mind," Hah! If only I could.

"It's getting clearer," I said with a smile, because where her mind stayed blank, her actions and reactions, especially her facial expressions, were getting easier to read. I took her shoulders and looked down at her face. She's so brave, so sure. She's seen me act like a vampire, I wonder if she could handle running like one.

"Can I show you something?" I was suddenly extremely excited, all her reactions to what I could do were all positive, or at least not too negative, so how would she feel riding on my back as I ran?

"Show me what?" her eyes were wary, cautious.

"I'll show you how I travel in the forest." She looked absolutely horror struck, now. "Don't worry, you'll be safe, and we'll get to your truck much faster." I smiled, and her heart stuttered a bit before picking back up at normal pace.

"Will you turn into a bat?" ...oh, wow. I don't think I've ever laughed so hard in my life. This woman is absolutely absurd! A bat.

"Like I haven't heard that before"

"Right, I'm sure you get that all the time"

"Come on, little coward, climb on my back"

She was looking at me like I'd gone a bit crazy, so I smiled reassuringly to her and reached out my hand. Her heart raced as she took my hand, and I placed her onto his back. She clamped down on me so hard that if I were a human, I'd probably suffocate.

"I'm a bit heavier than your average backpack," she said in a tone that implied she didn't think I could carry her, this little hundred and ten pound girl.

"Hah!" I snorted. She felt like a feather, as if she weren't even there. I reached out for her hand, brought it around ran my nose along her palm, inhailing. It still burned, but not nearly as bad as any time.

"Easier all the time." And with that, I took off. Her heart pounding on my back was a slight distraction, but running was rediculously easy. I could go indefinately. What took us five or so hours to hike, I was able to run in minutes. I was extra careful, more careful than I would usually be, because of the precious cargo I held, but being careful while running was laughable. I'd never hit a tree, it was all almost slow motion, though I was running at insane speeds...insane to a human, at least. So I was needlessly careful.

Which started me thinking about being careful with her. I seem to have touching her down, I mean, she's riding on my back while I'm running through a forest. I touch her lighter and more carefully than I would touch a frail shard of glass. I touched her lips.

I wonder what it would feel like, to kiss her. To place my lips on hers. Obviously, it couldn't be an open mouthed kiss, my venom prevents that. But it would be...I'm not sure what it would be. Touching her lips with my fingers, or her fingers on mine, feels incredible. And...would she even let me?

It's worth a try.

And then before I even really realized, we were at her truck.

"Exhilerating, isn't it?" No response. I checked to make sure she was still breathing, her heart still pumping...she sounded alive... "Bella"

"I think I need to lie down," she gasped.

"Oh, sorry," I waited for her to climb down, but she didn't move a muscle.

"I think I need help," I couldn't contain the chuckle that built up. I helped her off and pulled her around in front of me. I was cradling her in my arms.

"How do you feel"

"Dizzy, I think." Spectacular. I've made her dizzy.

"Put your head between your knees," I instructed, trying to get her to calm down. She did, and her heart rate slowed down considerably. "I guess that wasn't the best idea"

"No, it was very interesting." Right.

"Hah! You're as white as a ghost-no, you're as white as me"

"I think I should have closed my eyes"

"Remmber that next time"

"Next time!" She groaned, but I just laughed. "Show-off." I moved my face closer to hers and breathed in slowly and quietly, making sure I could do this. I could handle this.

"Open your eyes, Bella," I whispered, and when she did they went wide as saucers. "I was thinking, while I was running..." how do I ask her to kiss me?

"About not hitting trees, I hope." She isn't making this easier, but I still can't help but laugh.

"Silly Bella. Running is second nature to me, it's not something I have to think about"

"Show-off." I smiled, but I needed to continue this...I wanted to know what it felt like. I wanted to kiss Bella.

"No, I was thinking there was something I wanted to try." I placed my hands on her face, and looked her in the eyes. Her heart missed two beats, then raced faster than I would have thought healthy.

She stopped breathing.

**I...am a horrible, horrible person.  
Aren't I?  
What a terrible thing to do :D Evilll!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Ok guys, sorry, but my bro totally kinda screwed me over for time last night, so I didn't get like...ANYTHING done. As you can see. But I got this, and I thought I might as well post it. I might have some time to write in the afternoon and I'm gunna kick my bro off the computer since he had it all last night :P Sorry, angela90210, I tried, but I'm out of time :( I promise next chapter will be longer though!**

**Thanks to all my reviewers, those that have stuck with this story since the earliest chapters and to those new reviewers! [Especially my oh-so-kickass sissy Nyssah!] I love you all! You guys totally rock my socks. And so, here's what I have so far:**

**[Don't own twilight.]**

**-moonstruckmanda**

_No, I was thinking there was something I wanted to try." I placed my hands on her face, and looked her in the eyes. Her heart missed two beats, then raced faster than I would have thought healthy._

_She stopped breathing._

_xXx_

I hardly even registered this fact, as I started to lean my face closer to hers.

I watched her eyes, watched her lips, watched the blood pump in her neck, watched everything as I leaned in extremely slowly, this time for my sake instead of hers. I needed to know, needed to make sure, that this was safe.

I had my face pressed up against her heart, but that doesn't mean the temptation isn't still there. I loved this woman, I can't kill her.

And so, with exceptionally slow movements, I leaned my face in.

And then my lips met hers.

I was almost sure my heart was beating again, but it was just the electricity she had sent shooting through me.

I was almost sure my entire body was human temperature, but that was her lips, the fire passed through my lips and spread through my entire body.

I was almost sure I needed oxygen, I was gasping loudly as she knotted her fingers in my hair.

And her breath was coming in gasps as well.

And her blood was racing, faster than I had ever encountered.

And she parted her lips... and I need to stop this. Stop this, now.

I immediately stopped kissing her, making sure I didn't move an inch. Her blood was still pumping wildly, and she was breathing her intoxicating scent into my face in quick spurts. The scent begged me to continue, everything begged with me to continue, but I couldn't. I was not ready for that. I couldn't handle that.

And so, with controlled movements, I reached up and unlocked our lips, pushing her face back. I looked at her, and her brow was furrowed, her eyes still closed, still breathing erratically.

She opened her eyes.

"Oops." "That's an understatement," I held her face there, watching her, drinking in her scent, watching her vein pulse in her neck, feeling her heart pounding against my chest. Desensitizing myself as much as I can, and trying to fight the monster in me back down.

"Should I...?" she started to try to pry herself from me, but I didn't want that. I was ok enough to keep her here, long enough so that I could regain complete control over myself.

"No, it's tolerable. Wait for a moment, please." I watched her calming down as I calmed down, myself.

Finally, my excitement died down, and I was in full control. I smiled, because I was in control during the kiss, and she obviously wasn't.

"There."

"Tolerable?" I laughed.

"I'm stronger than I thought. It's nice to know."

"I wish I could say the same. I'm sorry," I didn't exactly mind all that much... it was an extroardinary feeling.

"You are only human, after all."

"Thanks so much," she replied sarcastically. I shot up and held my hand out for her. She took it hesitantly, and stumbled her way up.

"Are you still faint from the run? Or was it my kissing expertise?" I laughed, secretly wishing it was the second option. I want to have that affect on Bella, all the time, even if it means I have to pull away from the kiss too soon every time.

"I can't be sure, I'm still woozy. I think it's some of both, though." Aha!

"Maybe you should let me drive."

"Are you insane?!"

"I can drive better than you on your best day. You have much slower reflexes," I teasted, and watched as she grew a bit annoyed.

"I'm sure that's true, but I don't think my nerves, or my truck, could take it," I've driven her truck before, and it's still here...unfortunately...so obviously I won't hurt it.

"Some trust, please, Bella," she pursed her lips, then shook her head no.

"Nope, not a chance." I raised my eyebrows at her. She was saying no, and holding her ground, against someone she knew she couldn't win against? She started to walk towards her truck, carefully keeping her distance from me, but that wouldn't work. I was about to grab for her hand when she stumbled, and I caught her before she fell.

Clumsy Bella.

"Bella, I've already expended a great deal of personal effort at this point to keep you alive. I'm not about to let you behind the wheel of a vehicle when you can't even walk straight. Besides, friends don't let friends drive drunk," I added with a laugh.

"Drunk?"

"You're intoxicated by my very presence," I grinned at her, and she looked about to protest, but decided against it.

"I can't aregue with that," she agreed with a sigh. She held out her hand, holding the key, and dropped it. I caught it, smirking at her. "Take it easy, my truck is a senior citizen."

"Very sensible." Very annoying. I wonder if she'd let me buy her a new car. I'd have to see about that, later.

"And are you not affected at all? By my presence?" Hah. I'm affected by the mere thought of her, let alone her presence. I bent my face down to hers, not to kiss her - I won't make the same mistake twice...in one day, but to brush my lips gently back and forth between her ear to her chin. The skin felt perfect, warm, and her heart had calmed down, so this was exceptionally easy. She started trembling.

"Regardless, I have better reflexes." I pulled back in time to see her rolling her eyes, and took her hand, leading her to the van. When she was in, I let go of her hand, only to sprint around the car and get in and intertwine our fingers together again.

I didn't even drive the speed limit that the truck was capable of, just for her sake. She was watching my driving, I was watching her. The truck window on her side was open, and the wind was blowing her hair all around her glorious, perfect face. She was so beautiful.

I turned the radio on, the silence without hearing minds in the presence of others was nice, I'll admit, but only for so long. It got eerie. I sang along with the music.

"You like fifties music?"

"Music in the fifties was good. Much better than the sixties, or the seventies, ugh! The eighties were bearable."

"Are you ever going to tell me how old you are?" Not if I can help it... age doesn't matter any to a vampire, but to a human...

"Does it matter much?" I asked, smiling, trying to persuade her from asking me.

"No, but I still wonder... there's nothing like an unsolved mistery to keep you up at night," she answered with a cute grimace.

"I wonder if it will upset you." I looked up at the sun, trying to avoid her gaze, what would she think if she knew she were spending time with a 108 year old?

"Try me." I sighed at her persistence, and looked her in the eyes. What if my age repels her? Would she stay away from me? Then again, I am a vampire, attracted to her blood more than anyone elses, she knows all of this, and is still here. She could probably handle it. I looked back to the sun.

"I was born in Chicago in 1901." I looked over at her to see her reaction, and she seemed completely fine. Of course, I thought with a smile, it's Bella. Always surprising me. "Carlisle found me in a hospital in the summer of 1918. I was seventeen, and dying of the Spanish influenza." She gasped, and I glanced at her. "I don't remember it well," I tried to reassure her, "it was a very long time ago, and human memories fade."

What I do remember was blurry, like I spent my entire life surrounded by fog, or darkness. I remember my mother's face from Carlisle's thoughts, he remembered perfect, of course, and then other small clips of memories from my past, clouded and with missing patches, but there in lied her face when she wasn't sick, when she was healthy. She was beautiful. I didn't have many memories of my father, though.

"I do remember how it felt, when Carlisle saved me. It's not an easy thing, not something you could forget," I stopped myself. I shouldn't...I won't tell her about the transformation process from human to vampire.

"Your parents?"

"They had already died from the disease. I was alone. That was why he chose me. In all the chaos of the epidemic, no one would ever realize I was gone."

"How did he...save you?" ah, her curiosity. How do I explain it to her, without giving away too much.

"It was difficult. Not many of us have the restraint necessary to accomplish it. But Carlisle has always been the most humane, the most compassionate of us...I don't think you could find his equal throughout all of history," I remembered all too clearly what it was like for me, those burning flames...seemingly hotter than the sun. "For me, it was merely very, very painful," I held back the scoff at my use of the word 'merely'. Merely, indeed.

**Alright, I'll be writing more tonight, and tommorow morning I suppose, if I'm up early again. Hope you liked this TINY-AS-HELL chapter :P**


	10. Chapter 10

**MY FINGERS ARE NUMB! NUMB, I TELL YOU!** **Roflmao. So, this is TWICE the size of ANY chapter I've put up so far, reaching almost ten thousand words, which, I know, isn't actually that much, but WoW. It was to me. So, Angela, just for you (...and, for everyone else that's reading, but you requested it specifically, lol...) I went through to the breakfast scene :) I didn't get to the lullaby or anything, because _damn_ my fingers are numb, and I need a break :P But it was fun, so so much fun, I couldn't stop. It hurts to stop now, when I've got about another hour or so alone before my family gets back, that I could spend writing, but holy jebus. :P I hope you understand. **

**Oh, by the way, SUCKY. I just realized that all my italics get taken out when I use notepad for uploading :( (Which i need to do 'cause my bro doesn't have word doc...) so that sucks. I'm gunna try and go through everything and italicize (is that even a word?) everything that needs to be, but if I stop, it's because I gave up and decided I have better things to do than click words and click an _I _button.**

**Yeah...i'm probably gunna do it. Rofl. [Don't own twilight!]**

**-moonstruckmanda**

I suppose Bella got the hint that I didn't want to talk about that specific topic anymore, but I could see the questions in her eyes, so I continued.

"He acted out of lonliness, that's usually the reason behind the choice. I was the first in Carlisle's family, though he found Esme soon after. She... fell from a cliff," Esme isn't really one to hide such facts as her committing suicide, but it's not really my place to say. "They brought her straight to the hospital morgue, though, somehow, her heart was still beating."

"So you must be dying, then, to become..." she didn't say the word, like it was some type of curse word she disliked, or forbidden.

I wished I could say yes, just to stop this particular line of questions, but decided against it.

"No, that's just Carlisle. He would never do that to someone who had another choice. It's easier he says, though, if the blood is weak." I looked down at the road hoping she wouldn't askhow the weakness of the blood applied to the tranformation. Thankfully, she had other questions on her mind.

"And Emmett and Rosalie?"

"Carlisle brought Rosalie to our family next. I didn't realize till much later that he was hoping she would be to me what Esme was to him - he was careful with his thoughts around me."

I rolled my eyes. I remember the day I found that out all to clearly.

_The four of us were sitting in the living room, Rosalie fixated with her appearance, Esme was sitting at a desk mapping out her new designs for our useless kitchen, Carlisle was sitting in his char pretending to read a book, but surrepticiously peeking at Esme, and I was actually reading, trying to block the thoughts running through his head._

_That was, until they turned to Rosalie, and this thoughts were a jumbled mess of Rosalie, affection, attraction and soul mates._

_But...Carlisle was in love with Esme?! I jumped to conclusions, Esme was already thought of as a mother by me, and if Carlisle was thinking of leaving her for ROSALIE...the epitome of selfishness..._

_My eyebrows rose up, and a growl was building in my chest. Carlisle as well as Esme and Rosalie stared at me._

_"What about Esme?" I had asked, and everyone, even Carlisle, was confused. "Rosalie, Carlisle? Rosalie?!" I knew that it was his buisness, and I shouldn't be voicing my opinion, especially with the two subjects of our thoughts right here, but I loved Esme, and as much as I respected Carlisle, how could he do this to her?_

_Realization dawned on his face, then Esme's, then Rosalie's._

_Esme was distraught. She had fully believed that she was the only one he saw that way._

_Rosalie was unsurprised._

_Conceited._

_Carlisle, I didn't understand it...he wasn't ashamed or embarrassed, he was...sheepish. He sighed._

_"Edward, you don't understand."_

_"Carlisle?" Esme's voice cracked, and he sent her a reassuring smile. She was doubtful, but couldn't hep her swoon. This only fueled my anger._

_"Edward, may I speak with you, alone?"_

_"Anything you have to say to him, you can say in fromt of me, can't you, Carlisle?" Esme asked, unsure for the first time wether she trusted him or not._

_Carlisle sighed. "Of course," he answered, switching his glances between Rosalie and I._

_I saw it then._

_Affection for Rosalie, not from him, but from ME. Rosalie in MY arms, kissing MY lips._

_Carlisle wanted Rosalie and I to be together._

_I didn't even know how to react. I stared at Carlisle, disbelief smeared across my face, hope on his. I glanced at Rosalie, she was looking back and forth between Carlisle and I, frustrated that she didn't understand exactly what was going on._

_And then I errupted into an uncontrollable fit of laughter._

_Rosalie and I...together. Laughable._

_After I had regained control over myself, I tried reassuring Esme and Rosalie that it was nothing, but that didn't work. I sighed._

_"Rosalie. Carlisle had hopes of the two of us...together," her eyes widened. She hadn't thought of seeing me that was, but she had thought of my nonexistant attraction to her._

_-He's laughing at the thought of being with me?! I'm Rosalie Hale for goodness sakes!-_

_Her thoughts were daggers, dripping with venom. She stormed off to her room, angry and self consious, for the first time in her life most likely._

_"Does she...have feelings for you, then?" Carlisle had come to the conclusion that I just did not see her that way, but had possibly fell for me._

_"No, no, she just can't figure out why I'm not attracted to her," I didn't even try to keep the teasing tone out of my voice._

_I ignored the hiss that came from upstaires._

"But she was never more than a sister. It was only two years later that she found Emmett. She was hunting - we were in Appalachia at the time - and found a bear about to finish him off. She carried him back to Carlisle, more than a hundred miles, afraid she wouldn't be able to do it herself. I'm only beginning to guess how difficult that journey was for her." I looked over at her, and her face was a mixture of awe, sympathy and dread. Why the dread, I'm not sure, but I'm never sure with her. I lifted our hands to brush her cheek with mine.

"But she made it," she stated, looking anywhere but my eyes.

"Yes. She saw something in his face that made her strong enough. And they've been together ever since. Sometimes they live separately from us, as a married couple. But the younger we pretend to be, the longer we can stay in any given place. Forks seemed perfect, so we all enrolled in highschool," I paused to laugh, "I suppose we'll have to go to their wedding in a few years, _again_."

"Alice and Jasper?"

"Alice and Jasper are two very rare creatures. They both developed a conscience, as we refer to it, with no outside guidance. Jasper belonged to another..." I'm not even going to get into how Jasper was created to be part of a vampire army that three female vampires had been assembling to overthrow covens and get revenge. This isn't the time or place for that conversation. "Family, a _very_ different kind of family. He became depressed, and he wandered on his own. Alice found him. Like me, she has certain gifts above and beyong the norm for our kind."

"Really? But you said you were the only one who could hear people's thoughts."

"That's true. She knows other things. She _sees_ things...things that might happen, things that are coming," or aren't coming... "But it's very subjective. The future isn't set in stone. Things change."

Things _will_ change, for my Bella.

"What kind of things does she see?" She saw you, dead. That didn't happen.

"She saw Jasper and knew that he was looking for her before he knew it himself. She saw Carlisle and our family, and they came together to find us. She's most sensitive to non-humans. She always sees, for example, when another group of our kind is coming near. And any threat they may pose.

"Are there...a lot of...your kind?" she asked, sounding surprised.

"No, not many. But most won't settle in any one place. Only those like us, who've given up hunting you people," I tossed her a sly glance, "can live together with humans for any length of time. We've only found one other family like ours, in a small village in Alaska. We lived together for a time, but there were so many of us that we became too noticeable. Those of us who live... differently tend to band together."

"And the others?" she asked as I parked in front of her house.

"Nomads, for the most part. We've all lived that way at times. It gets tedious, like anything else, " I remembered the ten years I spent on my own. Lonely, too quiet. I don't understand how Carlisle did it for so long, or how so many vampires spend their entire existence like that without going mad. "But we run across the others now and then, because most prefer the north."

"Why is that?" she asked, glancing around looking surprised like she just realized where we were. For someone who's so observant, she sure can miss a lot.

"Did you have your eyes open this afternoon? Do you think I could walk down the street in the sunlight without causing traffic accidens?" I teased her, and she flushed a bit from missing the obvious. "There's a reason we chose the Olymic Peninsula, one of the most sunless places in the world. It's nice to be able to go outside in the day. You wouldn't believe how tired you can get of nighttime in eighty-odd years."

"So that's where the legends came from?"

"Probably." There's no way to be sure, but it makes the most sense.

"And Alice came from another family, like Jasper?"

Ah, Alice.

"No, and that _is_ a mystery. Alice doesn't remember her human life at all. And she doesn't know who created her. She awoke alone. Whoever made her walked away, and none of us understand why or now, he could. If she hadn't had that other sense, if she hadn't seen Jasper and Carlisle, and known that she would someday become one of us, she probably would have turned into a total savage."

And then the Volturi would have gotten word of an out-of-control newborn running wild and free, exposing us all, and gone to... 'take care of the problem'...

My train of thought was interrupted by a rather loud rumbling sound coming from was her stomach. Of course! How could I have forgotten something like her hunger? I've been so obsessed about not killing her directly, and here I am starving her to death.

"I'm sorry, I'm keeping you from dinner."

"I'm fine, really." Liar.

"I've never spent much time around anyone who eats food. I forget," I apologized.

"I want to stay with you," she whimpered, and my lifeless heart fluttered.

I wanted to stay with her, too.

"Can't I come in?" Simple enough solution.

"Would you like to?" she asked, surprise layering her voice.

"Yes, if that's alright." I hopped out of her car and before thinking about it, used vampire speed to get to her side and let her out. Oh well, it's too dark for anyone to really see me, anyways, and I can't hear any alarmed thoughts.

"Very human." she stated as she got out of the truck. I smiled.

"It's definately resurfacing."

As we walked to her door, she kept peeking at me. I didn't need to peek, I was already full out staring at her.

I went ahead of her to grab her spare hidden key. I've seen her use it a couple of times, and opened her door for her. She started walking through, then paused.

"The door was unlocked?"

"No, I used the key from under the eave."

She made her way inside, turned the lights on, spun around to face me and raised her eyebrows.

I've been caught.

"I was curious about you."

"You spied on me?" miraculously enough, she didn't sound angry. Will the surprises never cease?

"What else is there to do at night?" I asked cooly, trying to brush my stalker-like tendencies off as nothing.

She continued on to the kitchen, and I went passed her in to sit myself down in one of the chairs. Bella saw me here when she walked in, and smirked, watching me for a couple of seconds before looking away. She heated herself up some leftover lasagna, and I grimaced as the scent of human food filled the room. It smelled worse than garbage, and it didn't look very appetizing as it revolved around, sizzling in the microwave.

"How often?" she asked without turning to look at me.

"Hmm?"

"How often did you come here?" Oh, right, we had been discussing that. It might annoy her more than she let on... that wouldn't surprise me.

"I come here almost every night." She spun around, facing me, shock written all over her face.

"Why?"

"You're interesting when you sleep. You talk." I would have shrugged to emphasize my point, if it hadn't been for the look on her face.

"No!" She half yelled, half gasped. She blushed scarlett red and tightened her grup on her kitchen counter until her knuckles went white.

She _was_ upset with me.

"Are you angry with me?"

"That depends!" she squeaked, she sounded out of breath. She didn't add anything to that.

"On...?"

"What you heard!" she yelled, and I instantly understood. She had, after all, been saying my name in her sleep. And, so, now, she knew that I knew she was dreaming about me...unless I could pretend I hadn't heard anything of the sort. I've heard other things...

I went to her, taking her warm hands in mine, trying to calm her.

"Don't be upset!" I begged, hating the feeling that came with Bella being unhappy ith me. I felt like the biggest dissapointment in the world. I lowered my head until her eyes were level with mine, but it was a wasted effort, she wouldn't look me in the eyes. "You miss your mother. You worry about her. And when it rains, the sound makes you restless. You used to talk about home a lot," most of that has been replaced by dreams of me now, though, but I didn't dare add that, "but it's less often now. Once you said 'It's too green'" I chuckled at the memory, and hoped it wouldn't upset her even more. It was just so cute, though.

"Anything else?" she asked firmly but still warily. There was no point in trying, she knew as well as I did. Better, in fact...

"You did say my name." she sighed.

"A lot?" if you call forty-two times a lot...

"How much do you mean by 'a lot', exactly?" I asked, trying to dodge answering the question. It worked, but Bella was still upset...just _less_ upset than what she would be if I had actually told her.

"Oh no!" she whined as she hung her head. I pulled her right against my chest.

"Don't be self-consious. If I could dream at all, it would be about you. And I'm not ashamed of it." She seemed to relax a bit, that was, until we heard Charlie pull into the driveway. I've been so caught up with Bella, I hadn't even noticed he was getting close. "Should your father know I'm here?"

"I'm not sure..." that would be a no.

"Another time, then..." I shot up to her room, but I suppose I should have assured her I was staying, because she whispered my name frantically, looking for me. I chuckled, just loud enough for her to hear, to let her know I was still here and waiting for her.

Charlie opened the door, and called out her name, but I was focused on his thoughts. He was thinking about school dances, and Bella...

"I'm here," she answered him, clearly nervous, but from what I could tell, he didn't pick up on it. He entered the kitchen and his thought tennor was instantly switched to food.

"Can you get me some of that? I'm bushed." he took his boots off and shuffled around, getting settled as Bella prepared his dinner. "Thanks" he saidas she placed his food and some beverage on the table.

"How was your day?" she asked, quick and impatiently, clearly not actually interested in the answer, but still trying to be polite.

"Good. The fish were biting...how about you? Did you get everything done that you wanted to?" he asked casually, but in his mind he was sincerely interested in anything concerning his daughter.

"Not really...it was too nice out to stay indoors," she answered, rushing through her food. It put a big goody smile on my face knowing she was so anxious to get back to me.

"It was a nice day," Charlie agreed, taking another bite of his lasagne. Bella finished off her food and drink quickly, and that didn't escape Charlie's notice. The school dance was brought back to his thoughts.

"In a hurry?"

"Yeah, I'm tired. I'm going to bed early." Such a horrible liar, she was.

"You look kinda keyed up," he stated suspiciously.

"Do I?" was Bella's only response as she cleaned her dishes.

"It's Saturday," he said, trying to ease into the topic of the school dance. "No plans tonight?"

"No, Dad, I just want to get some sleep."

"None of the boys in town your type, eh?" He was curious, he knew Bella was attractive, so he was wondering why she wasn't dating.

"No, none of the boys have caught my eye yet." I stiffened. That was a lie, right? Everything she's done, all her reactions, everything she's said causes me to believe it was a lie, especially the fact that I could hear the lie in her voice, but still, it's not hard to doubt.

"I thought maybe that Mike Newton..." I growled, loudly. I don't think Charlie noticed, but Bella knew I was up here, she might have been listening for some type of noise. "you said he was friendly."

"He's _just_ a friend, Dad."

"Well, you're too good for them all, anyway," too true, "Wait till you get to college to start looking." College? A year and a half? Too long, way too long to wait and I don't even have that much time with her. She's only human, after all...

"Sounds like a good idea to me," she answered, clearly not agreeingly, as she started up the stairs.

"Night, honey."

"See you in the morning, Dad," Bella called as she slowly climbed the rest of the stairs. I watched from her bed as she opened her door, closed it rather loudly and sprinted to her window, opening it and leaning out to look for me.

"Edward?" I couldn't help but laugh at her.

"Yes?" She whirled around, pretty quickly for a human, and stared at me. Her heartbeat picked up pace and she was breathing heavily. Her hand flew up to her throat, surprised to see me there.

"Oh!" She breathed out, as she slowly fell to the floor.

"I'm sorry," I apologized, trying not to laugh more.

"Just give me a minute to restart my heart." I sat up slowly and reached out for her, picking her up and placing her beside me on the bed.

"Why don't you sit with me. How's the heart?" I asked, taking her hand in mine.

"You tell me...I'm sure you hear it better than I do." I tried not to laugh too hard, it was true. It was quiet for a minute while her heart went back to normal pace, then Bella looked up at me.

"Can I have a minute to be human?"

"Certainly." I motioned for her to do whatever she needed to do, I could wait for her.

"Stay," she commanded, and I stilled.

"Yes, ma'am."

She hopped off the bed, grabbing her things and left her room. I heard the tap in her bathroom, and her toothbrush scraping against her teeth. I listened as her shower turned on...

For once, I found it a good fortune that I couldn't read her mind. I don't think I'd be able to handle watching herself undress and clean herself, but I know for sure that I wouldn't be able to focus on anything else. I'm only...well, not human, but I'm only a man. I wouldn't be able to help myself, Bella's too unbelievably irresistable.

I waited for her to finish, and listened as she got out and got dressed, packed her things back in her bag and left the bathroom. Oddly, she ran back downstaires to bid her father goodnight for a second time. He sounded surprised, but all I coul pick up from his thoughts were sports. She rushed back up the stairs and came in the room, closing the door behind her and pressing her back against it. I saw her smile, and I began to smile, but stopped once I looked at her.

Her wet hair hung around her face in clumped tendrils, framing it perfectly, and darker than it usually looked. Her sweatpands hugged her hips and fell loosely around her legs, and her _shirt_... her shirt was a complete tease. It was thin material, my eyes could almost see through it, almost. It was covered in holes, all in chaste areas, but all hinting at other not so chaste areas. One of my eyebrows raised involuntarily.

"Nice." She grimaced, she thought I was joking. "No, it looked good on you." She whispered a quiet thanks, and came back to sit beside me, crossing her legs on the bed. She smelled so good wet... appetizing, in both ways. I need a distraction.

"What was all that for?"

"Charlie thinks I'm sneaking out." Ah, I see.

"Oh. Why?" I didn't pick that up from his mind. As thankful as I am that his mind isn't completely blank as Bella's is, I wish it were clearer.

"Apparently, I look a little overexcited." I lifted her chin, looking at her face.

"You look very warm, actually." I lowered my face to hers, pressing my cheek against hers. "Mmmm." I stayed there for a moment, and her breathing picked up a bit.

"It seems to be...much easier for you, now, to be close to me."

"Does it seem that way to you?" I asked, starting to move my face along hers. She was incredibly warm, smelling perfectly delicious. I touched her hair, brushing it back from her face, and pressed my lips to the hollow under her ear.

"Much, much easier," she answered after another moment, sounding like she was having trouble forming sentances.

"Hmm," was my only response, I was too busy drowning myself in her inoxicating scent and feeling her smoothe skin on mine to form a correct sentance, myself.

"So I was wondering..." I traced my fingers along her fragile collarbone, and she stopped speaking.

"Yes?"

"Why is that, do you think?" she asked, her voice sounding weak and shaky. I laughed as blood pooled in her delicate cheeks.

"Mind over matter." As soon as the words were out, she was gone. She had moved away from me, away from my touch. Had I done something wrong? She was watching me, but I wasn't moving, wasn't even breathing. I tried to relax, but it was hard, I felt rejected.

"Did I do something wrong?"

"No - the opposite. You're driving me crazy." Really? ...really! Driving her crazy...

"Really?" I couldn't, nor would I if I could stop the smile that spread across my face. She had the same reactions to me as I did to her, apparently. I didn't even know I could affect her that way at all...

"Would you like a round of applause?" she teased, looking like she was fighting the urge to roll her eyes at me. My smile grew.

"I'm just pleasantly surprised. In the last hundred years or so, I never imagined anything like this. I didn't believe I would ever find someone I wanted to be with...in another way than my brothers and sisters. And then to find, even though it's all new to me, that I'm good at it...at being with you..." at making her feel the way she always makes me feel...

"You're good at everything," she stated as though it was the most obvious piece of information in the world. I shrugged, and we both giggled. "But how can it be so easy now? This afternoon..."

"It's not _easy_," I breathed in deep, taking in her burning scent. My body still had the same reactions. The venom came, the muscles tensed, the monster inside of me battled with my consciense and logic...and love. I let the breath out as a sigh. "But this afternoon, I was still...undecided. I am sorry about that, it was unforgivable for me to behave so."

"Not unforgivable," she said, and she sounded like she wasn't bothered by it at all now that she understood why I had done it.

"Thank you," I said, smiling. "You see, I wasn't sure if I was strong enough..." I paused, picking her hand up and pressing it to my cheek. So warm. "And while there was still that possibility that I might be...overcome..." I sniffed her wrist, it smelled so delicious and inviting, but I was completely in control, "I was...susceptible. Until I made up my mind that I _was_ strong enough, that there was no possibility at all that I would...that I ever could..." I couldn't get the words out. They were blasphemous, how could I ever...? I wouldn't be able to bear it.

"So there's no possibility now?"

"Mind over matter," I said again, smiling.

"Wow, that was easy," she commented, and I threw my head back, about to roar with laughter, but caught myself and quieted my voice before the laugh came out. Charlie was, after all, right downstairs.

"Easy for _you_," I touched her nose with my finger. Then I heard Charlie think about something to do with Bella, and Mike Newton...

"But jealousy...it's a strange thing. So much more powerful than I would have thought. And irrational! Just now, when Charlie asked you about that vile Mike Newton..." I shook my head, trying to clear it of all thoughts of Mike winning over Bella's heart. He didn't deserve her, not in the slightest.

"I should have known you'd be listening!," she groaned. Well, obviously, I only stalk her every chance I get.

"Of course."

"_That_ made you feel jealous, though, really?"

"I'm new at this; you're resurrecting the human in me, and everything feels stronger because it's fresh."

"But honestly, for that to bother you, after I have to hear that Rosalie - Rosalie, the incarnation of pure beauty, _Rosalie_ - was meant for you. Emmett or no Emmett, how can I compete with that?" She had it all wrong, Rosalie wasn't meant for me. She was, entirely.

"There's no competition." I brought her hands up behind my back, and she was pressed firmly against my chest. It felt amazing.

"I _know_, that's the problem," she mumbled. I suppose I said that wrong, then, for her to take it that way, but how did she not see that Rosalie looked absolutely plain compared to her?

"Of course Rosalie _is_ beautiful in her own way," if she ever heard me say that, I think she'd do a song and dance, I've never said that out loud. She was beautiful, yes, but I didn't find her _interesting_, and her face was just a face to me, and that irked her more than anything for the longest time. "but even if she wasn't like a sister to me, even if Emmett didn't belong with her, she could never have one tenth, no, one hundredth of the attraction you hold for me. For almost ninety years I've walked among my kind, and yours," I suppose that counts now, as well, since I fell for one of her kind, "all the time thinking I was complete in myself, not realizing what I was seeking. And not finding anything, because you weren't alive yet."

"It hardly seems fair, I haven't had to wait at all. Why should I get off so easily?"

"You're right, I should make this harder for you, definately," I teased, releasing a hand of hers, and scooping it right back up with my other hand in order to stroke her hair, "You only have to risk your life every second you spend with me, that's surely not much. You only have to turn your back on nature, on humanity...what's that worth?"

"Very little - I don't feel deprived of anything."

"Not yet," she will, in time she'll regret making this choice. She'll want someone she can actually be with, someone she can relate to more. Someone she can share certain experiences with.

She tried pulling away from me, but I wouldn't allow it. Not yet.

"What..." she stopped talking as she felt me freeze. Charlie was heading up here to check on her. I let go of her, almost unwillingly, and went to hide in her closet.

"Lie down!" I hissed, probably sounding like too much of a vampire in front of her, but she did as I told her, covering herself with her blanket. Charlie came in, and Bella was exaggerating her breathing, but Charlie didn't notice. The only thing he noticed was Bella, asleep in her bed, and he left to go back to watching T.V.

Bella didn't hear him leave, and I took this opportunity to climb into her bed with her, under the covers.

I was brave today.

"You are a terrible actress, I'd say that career path is out for you," I commented, sliding my arm around her waist and pressing myself against her. Her heartbeat took off, the speed of a bird in flight, but louder. Much, much louder. I backed my chest away from hers a bit to take away some of the temptation from feeling her heartbeat crashing against me.

"Darn it," she said sarcastically. It was quiet for a moment, and so I started humming her the lullaby I had written for her. It seemed to make her entire body relax, like jelly, I felt her lower half sink into the mattress, and into me, then her shoulders fell limp against my chest, her head sank lower into the pillow. I stopped and considered singing to her, it might put her to sleep, though...then again, that's probably exactly what she needs, she is human, and it's getting pretty late.

"Should I sign you to sleep?"

"Right. Like I could sleep with you here!" she laughed.

"You do it all the time."

"But I didn't _know_ you were here," she replied, her tone a little harsh.

"So if you don't want to sleep..." I stopped. She stopped breathing. I'm sure what was on my mind, was on hers as well. I didn't mean for it to sound like that... I tried thinking of something we could do, that wouldn't lead to her death.

"If I don't want to sleep...?" she urged me to continue, and I chuckled.

"What do you want to do then?" I'd leave it up to her to come up with something. It was a moment before she could answer.

"I'm not sure."

"Tell me when you decide," I said, skimming her jaw with my nose, inhailing her scent. After the entire day, the burn was getting less noticable. It was still there, clearly, but I could ignore it more easily.

"I thought you were desensitized."

"Just because I'm resisting the wine doesn't mean I can't appreciate the bouquet. You have a very floral smell, like lavender...or freesia. It's mouthwatering."

"Yeah, it's an off day when I don't get _somebody_ telling me how edible I smell." I laughed, then sighed, content. I think I've laughed more today than I ever had during my entire existance before I met Bella. "I've decided what I want to do. I want to hear more about you."

"Ask me anything."

"Why do you do it? I stoll don't understand how you can work so hard to resist what you..._are_. Please don't misunderstand, of course I'm glad that you do. I just don't see why you would bother in the first place." I've heard this question so many times, from various nomads that cross our paths.

"That's a good question, and you are not the first one to ask it. The others - the majority of our kind who are quiet content with our lot - they, too, wonder at how we live. But you see, just because we've been...dealt a certain hand...it doesn't mean that we can't choose to rise above - to conquer the boundaries of a destiny that none of us wanted. To try to retain whatever essential humanity we can." She didn't answer, or move, and I was afraid she'd fallen asleep. Though that would be a good thing, since she needed sleep, I was a bit sad, I wanted to talk with her more. I didn't have much time to do so. "Did you fall asleep?" I whispered quietly after another minute of her stillness, but to my surprise, she responded with a simple "No."

"Is that all you were curious about?"

"Not quite," she answered, seemingly trying not to laugh at her own joke.

"What else do you want to know?"

"Why can you read minds - why only you? And Alice, seeing the future...why does that happen?" I shrugged. How am I supposed to know?

"We don't really know. Carlisle has a theory...he believes that we all bring something of our strongest human traits with us into the next life, where they are intensified - like our minds, and our senses. He thinks that I must have already been very sensitive to the thoughts of those around me. And that Alice had some precognition, wherever she was."

"What did he bring into the next life, and the others?"

"Carlisle brought his compattion. Esme brought her ability to love passionately. Emmett brought his strength, Rosalie her..." Selfishness, conceitedness? "tenacity. Or you could call it pigheadedness," I added, unashamed, as I laughed. "Jasper is very interesting. He was quite charismatic in his first life, able to influence those around him to see things his way. Now he is able to manipulate the emotions of those around him - calm down a room of angry people, for example, or excite a lethargic crowd, conversely. It's a very subtle gift." And extremely useful.

And at times, extremely annoying.

"So where did it all start? I mean, Carlisle changed you, and then someone must have changed him, and so on..." I considered teasing her with Dracula tales, something tells me she'd believe every word I said, but decided not to. I like having her trust me.

"Well, where did you come from? Evolution? Creation? Couldn't we have evolved in the same way as other species, predator and prey? Or, if you don't believe that all this world could have just happened on its own, which is hard for me to accept myself, is it so hard to believe that the same force that created the delicate angelfish with the shark, the baby seal and the killer whale, could create both our kinds together?"

"Let me get this straight...I'm the baby seal, right?" she asked, sarcastically. I laughed like only she could make me.

"Right," I said, still laughing. I pressed my lips to her hair, and softly kissed the back of her head. I loved her for making me feel so light, so happy. She didn't move for a couple moments, and it was really late. She needed sleep. "Are you ready to sleep? Or do you have any more questions?"

"Only a million or two."

"We have tomorrow, and the next day, and the next..." and a couple more years. I saw her cheeks rise, and guessed she was smiling.

"Are you sure you won't vanish in the morning? You are mythical, after all."

"I won't leave you," I promised her. I won't, because I don't want to, but also because I couldn't. Can't even imagine what it would be like to leave her now.

"One more, then, tonight..." she paused, and I smeled the blood pooling in her cheeks.

"What is it?"

"No, forget it. I changed my mind." Absolutely frustrating. I'm not that patient a person.

"Bella, you can ask me anything." Silence. I groaned. "I keep thinking it will get less frustrating, not hearing your thoughts. But it just gets worse and _worse_," I complained.

"I'm glad you can't read my thoughts. It's bad enough that you eavesdrop on my sleep-talking."

"Please?" I tried, dazzling her with just my voice, since I couldn't with my eyes. She shook her head, though. "If you don't tell me, I'll just assume it's something much worse than it is..." my mind raced at the possibilities. "Please?"

"Well, ..." she was going to make this very difficult.

"Yes?"

"You said that Rosalie and Emmett will get married soon...Is that...marriage...the same as it is for humans?" I laughed, of course she would be curious about that.

"Is _that_ what you're getting at?" She figited, finding her words. "Yes, I suppose it is muc hthe same. I told you, most of those human desires are there, just hidden behind more powerful desires." Or, what I thought were more powerful, but now I'm starting to second guess that...

"Oh," she stated, sounding like there was more to her question.

"Was there a purpose behind your curiousity?"

"Well, I did wonder...about you and me...someday..." I froze. I would be more red than the reddest tomato if it were possible. She...thought about that, about us, _together_, as well? Well, I didn't exactly dwell over it, because of its impossibility, but...

"I don't think that...that...would be possible for us," I told her, solemly.

"Because it would be too hard for you, if I were that...close?"

"That's certainly a problem. But that's not what I was thinking of. It's just that you are so soft, so fragile. I have to mind my actions every moment that we're together so that I don't hurt you. I could kill you quite easily, Bella, simply by accident," I could hear my voice growing sadder, but I couldn't help it. I touched her cheek softly. "If I was too hasty..." I inwardly flinched at my choice of words. My blush would have gotten redder, if it could have been there. "if for one second I wasn't paying attention, I could reach out, meaning to touch your face, and crush your skull by mistake. You don't realize how incredibly _breakable_ you are. I can never, never afford to lose any kind of control when I'm with you," I finished, sounding like someone as strong as Emmett had punched me in the gut. She didn't say anything, probably because I had just explained that I could kill her at any moment simply by touching her. "Are you scared?" She didn't answer for a moment, considering wether or not she was.

"No, I'm fine," she answered, completely sure of that fact. She also seemed upset, and I could understand why. It was an experience that she'd have to miss out on, if she were to stay with me.

Or...had she already experienced it?

Jealousy flooded my mind then, and I had to work to keep my voice from coming out as a growl.

"I'm curious now, though... Have _you_ ever...?" I paused, finding it hard to actually say the words in front of her. I'm more glad than I ever have that I'm a vampire, my blush would be outstandingly embarrassing.

"Of course not. I told you I've never felt like this about anyone before, not even close," she admitted, blushing, but I didn't even notice, I was so filled with relief.

"I know. It's just that I know other people's thoughts. I know love and lust don't always keep the same company."

"They do for me. Now, anyway, that they exist for me at all," she admitted with a sigh. So she lusted for me, did she?

"That's nice. We have that one thing in common, at least." I was glad that no one else had touched her in a way that I wanted to touch her, especially since I'd never experienced that either.

"Your human instincts..." she paused, and I guessed that this was as difficult to talk about for her as it was for me, "well, do you find me attractive, in _that_ way at all?" I laughed, and worked hard to keep it quiet. She was completely insane to doubt at all that I wasn't attracted to her like that. I playfully ruffled her hair.

"I may not be a human, but I am a man." She seemed to relax, and then she yawned. "I've answered your questions, now you should sleep."

"I'm not sure if I can."

"Do you want me to leave?" Please say no, please say no.

"No!" She answered a bit loud, and I checked to see if Charlie had heard. Thankfully, he hadn't.

I laughed, and started to hum her lullaby again, and she fell asleep almost instantly. The only thing that tore my attention away from her all night was the ten minutes that Charlie spent trying to figure out how to immobalize her vehicle in case she decided to sneak out after all before heading to sleep.

It was a different experience, watching her sleep was definately interesting, but watching as she slept in _my_ arms, while she dreampt of me, ...I don't know if I'll be able to simply sit in the rocking chair and watch as she sleeps without feeling a strong urge to come lay beside her ever again. She slept so peacefully in my arms, and she whispered my name more than I'd ever heard her in one night tonight, and to my surprise and intense joy, she said "Edward, I love you," once. My smile didn't leave my face until dawn broke across the sky outside. I hated it, but I had to leave to get a change of clothes and freshen up for the day.

I gently pulled away from her and slipped out the window.

I got to my house as quickly as I could, and shot to my room to get changed. I freshened up, but I wasn't so lucky as to avoid my family on my way out. Emmett and Alice were blocking my way out, and the rest of my family, excluding Rosalie, were screaming at me in their thoughts to explain what had happened. Of course, Alice had already seen all of it, but all she had said was that Bella was fine.

"She's alive, and I'm becoming more and more used to her scent, but she'll be waking soon, and I want to be there when she does..." Esme and Carlisle had huge smiles on their faces, Emmett was winking at me, Jasper was happy that Bella was safe and I was happy, but still a bit worried about what might happen now. Alice was determined to make my life harder than it had to be.

"You're bringing her here today," she told me, but she didn't have any visions of me coming over with yet yet. "You _are_ bringing her here today, you're going to introduce us normally, and you're going to stop hogging her! I haven't even met my best friend, you're being incredibly selfish! You won't kill her, you know that now, now _let me meet my friend!_" Alice looked terrifying, and so her eyes glazed over and she had a vision of finally meeting Bella. She smiled, hugged me, and danced off, calling "Thank you, Edward," over her shoulder. Jasper followed, Emmett headed up to his and Rosalie's room to try to lighten her apparently sour mood, and Esme hugged me tightly, whispering her happieness for my happiness in my ear before she went upstaires.

_I'm glad this has worked out for you, you're strong, Edward, know that. But make sure you don't get too comfortable, you must always be careful._ I nodded, and he smiled, following after his wife.

So today Bella would meet my family. Despite the fact that I'm a powerful vampire, and no human could ever harm me, I was a little worried about how Bella would react to me taking her to a houe full of vampires.

I raced back to her place and got there in time to see Charlie fixing Bella's car before leaving to go to work. I waited in the forest behind his house for him to leave, and once he did I climbed into Bella's room. She looked like she might wake soon, and would surley wake if I were to lie beside her again, so I took my usual seat in her rocking chair, watching her as she slept through her last hour. I was right, it was hard not to go over to her.

When she finally began to wake, she moved slowly around, groggily, until I suppose she remembered that I would be here. She sat up quick, gasping "Oh!" then swayed a hair was hilarious.

"Your hair looks like a haystack...but I like it," it was adorable, and so very human. She saw me, then, and a huge smile broke across her face.

"Edward! You stayed!" she yelped, before jumping off the bed and darting across her room to throw herself onto my lap. She was so blissful, and so happy to see me. Happier than I've ever seen her. I laughed, it was good to know I made her feel this way.

"Of course," I said, rubbing her back gently.

"I was sure it was a dream."

"You're not that creative," I teased.

"Charlie!" she jumped up and away from me, running to her door.

"He left an hour ago - after reattatching your battery cables, I might add. I have to admit I was disappointed. Is that really all it would take to stop you, if you were determined to go?" She looked at me, seeming to be making a hard decision. "You're not usually this confused in the morning." I held out my arms for her to come back, but much to my dismay, she declined.

"I need another human minute," she explained.

"I'll wait." She litterally skipped to the bathroom to prepare herself for the day. Once she was finished, she rushed back to me, I hadn't moved and my arms were still open in an invitation for her. "Welcome back." Her heart raced as she climbed back into my lap, and I started rocking her. She looked up at me, and seemed to realize something.

"You left?" she asked, pointing out my fresh clothes.

"I could hardly leave in the clothes I came in - what would the neighbors think?" She pouted, it was a heartbreaking sight, but also so incredibly cute...her bottom lip jutted slightly out, and her eyebrows pulled together and up. "You were very deeply asleep; I didn't miss anything. The talking came earlier." She groaned at that.

"What did you hear?" I felt my face soften, as I told her.

"You said you loved me."

"You knew that already," she muttered, trying to hide her face, embarrassed.

"It was nice to hear, just the same." She pressed her face against my shoulder in an attempt to hide it as she whispered,

"I love you." Hearing her say it in her sleep was an amazing feeling, but hearing her say it consiously to me, I felt completely free of all worries in the world, because the only thing that mattered was what she had just said.

"You are my life now." She always has been, but I didn't realize it until I met her. I rocked her back and forth, and then suddenly remembered, glad that I had this time, that she needed to eat. "Breakfast time."

I watched in horror and shock as her hands flew up to cup her neck and she looked at me with eyes the size of saucers. How could she even think that, after all that we went through yesterday?

"Kidding!" she chirped, and I was first filled with relief, but then annoyance.

"That wasn't funny."

"It was very funny, and you know it." I had to admit, it was.

"Shall I rephrase? Breakfast time for the _human_."

"Oh, ok" she answered casually. Time for _me_ to tease _her_. I picked her up and threw over my shoulders, and she feebly attempted to free herself as I headed to the kitchen.

I sat her down on a chair in the kitchen and she looked up at me expectantly.

"What's for breakfast?" she asked, her face bright and sunny. My face probably had shock written all over it, and nervousness. I didn't exactly pay attention to cooking human food...I should probably learn how to, having a human girlfriend and all...

"Er, I'm not sure. What would you like?" I asked, hoping she'd choose something easy like a sandwhich. I didn't know how to cook, but sandwhiches weren't exactly rocket science. She grinned at me and got up.

"That's all right, I fend for myself pretty well. Watch me hunt." I watched as she got a bowl, a spoon, some milk and a box of cereal. She went to sit down, then paused, looking up at me, confused. "Can I get you anything?" Hmm, would she happen to have a spare mountain lion in her cupboards, perhaps? I rolled my eyes at her.

"Just eat, Bella." She sat and started eating, and I couldn't help but watch in slight disgust. It smelled horrible, and didn't look much better.

"What's on the agenda for today?" Ah, here it comes.

"Hmmm...what would you say to meeting my family?" She gulped. Yes, it was as I had feared. She doesn't want to. "Are you afraid now?" It would be nice of her to have some common sense, at least, enough to be afraid of meeting six vampires, it would make me worry less about her. But then, these are my family, so she's got nothing to worry about. Sort of.

"Yes." It surprised me that she actually admitted to being afraid.

"Don't worry, I'll protect you," I assured her, with a smirk.

"I'm not afraid of _them_. I'm afraid they won't...like me. Won't they be, well, surprised that you would bring someone...like me...home to meet them? Do they know that I know about them?" Oh, silly silly Bella, worrying about the wrong things completely.

"Oh, they already know everything. They'd taken bets yesterday, you know, on wether I'd bring you back, though why anyone would bet against Alice, I can't imagine. At any rate, we don't have secrets in the family. It's not really feasible, what with my mind reading and Alice seeing the future and all that."

"And Jasper making you feel all warm and fuzzy about spilling your guts, don't forget that." I grinned, she remembered that.

"You paid attention," I commented.

"I've been known to do that every now and then," she said with a gimace. "So did Alice see me coming?"

Ugh. Wrong question to bring up. Of course she saw you coming. She saw you with me, she saw you dead, which technically could still happen, and she saw you become like me...a vampore.

"Something like that," I searched for a change of subject, she was about to ask me about my reaction. "Is that any good?" I asked her quickly, looking at her bowl of cereal. "Honestly, it doesn't look very appetizing."

"Well, it's no irritable frizzly..." I glowered at her playfully. I stared out the windows, thinking about Alice's visions. I changed one of her visions, I could change another. Bella will _not_ become like me. Not even considering what it would do to Bella, and me for that matter, but what about her family? Her mother she speaks so often about in her sleep, or her adoring father? I looked over at her with a smile.

"And you should introduce me to your father, too, I think."

"He already knows you," she replied flatly.

"As your boyfriend, I mean." I felt a phantom heart beat at the use of the word 'boyfriend'.

"Why?" she asked, staring at me with one eye brow raised.

"Isn't that customary?"

"I don't know. That's not necessary, you know. I don't expect you to...I mean, you don't have to pretend for me."

"I'm not pretending," I assured her with a smile. She bit her lip and played with her unappealing breakfast. "Are you going to tell Charlie I'm your boyfriend or not?" It hurt, to know she didn't want to tell him. It felt like she was ashamed of me, which she should be. She was dating a vampire, for goodness sakes.

"Is that what you are?"

"It's a loose interpretation of the word 'boy,' I'll admit..."

"I was under the impression that you were something more, actually," she said quietly, staring down at the table.

Well, I am. Of course. I'm her soulmate, the one she's stuck with for the rest of her life. But her father didn't need to know all that.

"Well, I don't know if we need to give him all the gory details," I teased, reaching overto lift her chin up to see her face. "But he will need some explanation for why I'm around here so much. I don't want Chief Swan getting a restraining order put on me." Her eyes widened.

"Will you be? Will you really be here?" She asked, anxiously.

"As long as you want me."

"I'll always want you. Forever." Forever. I wish that were possible without ruining her life. I walked around the table, standing in front of her, touching her cheek. Forever would be nice. Forever would be _wonderful_, but forever is impossible. Not without killing her. Not without destroying the soul of the woman I love. "Does that make you sad?" I couldn't answer. It wasn't that she wanted me around forever that made me sad, it was that I wanted her around forever and couldn't have that that did. I can't be selfish, not with someone so precious.

"Are you finished?" I asked, changing the subject.

"Yes," she confirmed, jumping up out of her seat.

"Get dressed...I'll wait here." She went upstaires and I could hear her moving around, choosing what to wear and getting ready. I waited for her at the bottom of the stairs, and when she came out, I couldn't move, couldn't even speak.

She was wearing that blue blouse she had been wearing the night I'd taken her to dinner in Port Angeles. The one that hugged her perfectly, with the most beautiful colour that went so absolutely well with her skin... she was beautiful. "Ok" she said cheerily as she bounced down the stairs. "I'm decent," she chirped, bouncing down the last step and falling into my arms. I steadied her, making sure she was alright, before closing the gap between us.

"Wrong again, you are utterly indecent...no one should look so tempting. It's not fair."

"Tempting how? I can change..."

I shook my head, sighing. She will never see herself clearly, she'll never understand, will she?

"You are _so_ absurd." I kissed her forhead gently. "Shall I explain how you are tempting to me..." I said, running my fingers down her spine. Her breath quickened, and I realized mine did as well. Her lips looked warm, beckonging me towards them. I bent down and kissed them, softly as I could, and I could have stayed there forever...

Had she not _fainted_.

"Bella?!" She looked up at me from where she was, limp in my arms.

"You...made...me...faint," she said accusingly, but breathlessly.

"_What am I going to do with you!!_" I groaned. "Yesterday I kiss you, and you attack me! Today you pass out on me!" she laughed at me. "So much for being good at everything." I sighed, why can't I just be human, and we can kiss like normal couples?

"That's the problem. You're _too_ good. Far, far too good." That was too hard to believe.

"Do you feel sick?"

"No, that wasn't the same kind of fainting at all. I don't know what happened. I think I forgot to breathe," she addmitted, shaking her head.

"I can't take you anywhere like this," I stated, half worried about what Alice would do, half glad that we wouldn't have to go through with the inevitable awkward introductions.

"I'm fine. Your family is going to think I'm insane anyway, what's the difference?" I looked her over, trying to decide how fine she really was, but was distracted by her blouse again.

"I'm very partial to that colour with your skin." She blushed, looking away from me.

"Look, I'm trying really hard not to think about what I'm about to do, so can we go already?" Ah, Bella. You'll have to get used to compliments with me around.

"And you're worried, not because you're headed to meet a houseful of vampires, but because you think those vampires won't approve of you, correct?" I asked, heavy on the sarcasm.

"That's right." I shook my head. Absurd. Amazing.

"You're incredible."

**Absolutely no life.**

**Thank you, SO much, for all your reviews, guys. I appreciate all of them, they all make me flip out and squeal :D Love you all, hope you enjoyed this chapter, and now I'm off to read Socks for Sex, because it's freaking hilarious, and Alice's POV just got put up. Yay! ... Will I get in trouble for mentioning that story on my page? Idk. Hope not, cause really it's like promoting. Sort of. ... yeah idk. Goldentemptress can yell at me if she doesn't like it :P Anyways, see yah! :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**SORRY! Sorry.. Yeah, I've got some huge life altering things going on right now, and they aren't exactly the best things that could ever happen to me, so I can't really write all that often...and I doubt I'll be writing a lot for the next couple of months, but I'll try to whenever I can. I started a new story, as well, because its faster to write and I love Leah, she's my favourite character, sooo yeah. But here's a new chapter, hope you enjoy, and I'll try to post whenever I can next!  
**  
**Don't own twilight!**

**-moonstruckmanda**

Seemingly endless torture.

Those three words just about sum up Bella's dreadful truck. Knowing Bella as well as I do now, I'm absolutely sure that she would refuse my offer of a new car.

But...a guy can dream, right? Maybe for her birthday.

So. Slow. Bella's too busy trying to figure out where I live to distract me, unfortunately, and I won't interrupt her because the slight frown and indent between her eyebrows on her face are too adorable to be taken away.

I was worried for a moment, when the house _finally_ came into view, that something was wrong with Bella. Her heart slowed its pace until the truck stopped. She was staring, eyes wide, at my home.

"Wow."

"You like it?" Esme did have a gift for taking a simple, plain space and turning it into something beautiful.

"It...has a certain charm," she answered. A little too breathlessly to sound sarcastic, like I assume she wanted to, but I picked it up. I laughed and tugged on her pony tail.

Any excuse to touch her hair.

...Any excuse to touch _her_. I'm in no way better than that perverted Mike Newton.

"Ready?" I opened the her door and she looked up at me with both eyebrows raised.

"Not even close...let's go." She tried to laugh, but it came out sounding like she was chocking. I watched her fidgeting nervously with her hair, rolling my eyes.

"You look lovely," I assured her, taking her warm, soft hand in mine, like it just belonged there permanently, and leading her up to my front door.

I had been so focused on Bella and her frustrating, but oddly peaceful silent mind that everyone else's "voice" sounded like they were screaming at me.

Alice was, by far, the loudest. And most obnoxious.

_Finally, finally, finally, finally...two and a half minutes! Finally..._

I started to rub her thumb soothingly, to calm both her and myself. I was just as nervous as she was, but for different reasons, much to my dismay...and joy. Jasper was here. And I've never actually monitered my family's levels of ontrol. How will they fare with a human girl away from public eye, smelling as delicious as she does, in their own home? Carlisle I trust, Esme as well. Alice loves her too much to lose control, I believe. But...Jasper? Even Emmett, or Rosalie, who are sitting upstaires.

Rosalie refuses to come down, and Emmett's curious, but he'd rather stay that way anger his wife. That, at least, eases my stress a little. But Jasper will be coming down. I've spoken to Jasper, though, so hopefully this will go without...complications.

But then, as I opened the door and found my parents standing by my piano, I began to feel nervous for the same reasons as Bella as well. How would my family react to her? And this time I don't mean in the vampire vs. human way, but the personality way? Of course, I believe Bella is by far the most interesting person I've ever met, but what would Esme think of her? And Carlisle? Emmett?

I certainly hope they like her, becuse if things go right... or wrong, in her case, she'll be coming around a lot more.

_Oh, she's beautiful! She looks as beautiful as she smells... I'm so glad for Edward, he deserves someone as pretty as her! I hope I get to know her over the time she spends here..._ So, needless to say, Esme likes her already. But I almost expected that. And Carlisle already knew her, so really it's just Emmett, Jasper and... I don't think Rosalie will _ever_ warm up to Bella.

"Carlisle, Esme...this is Bella."

"You're very welcome, Bella." Carlisle started advancing, very carefully towards Bella. He raised his hand to shake Bella's, he was unsure of her reaction to him now that she was aware, but Bella took his hand.

"It's nice to see you again, Dr. Cullen." She still sounded nervous, but she wasn't running out the door. That was always a plus.

"Please, call me Carlisle," he spoke as calmly and soothingly as he could to try and ease her nervouseness. Apparently, it worked. She smiled brightly at him.

"Carlisle," she said, her voice much stronger than before, and I relaxed my stiff posture, sure that she was more comfortable now.

_Oh, I wonder how she'd feel if I gave her an innocent hug... best not push it, maybe later when she knows me better. I'd really hate it if I somehow made her feel more uncomfortable than she already is feeling... such a brave girl, though, to meet his family, knowing what they are._

Esme stepped forward, hand extended to shake Bella's as well. "It's very nice to know you."

"Thank you, I'm glad to meet you, too," she sounded just as sincere as Esme had, and I was filled with happiness at how easily accepted she was. I think I knew she would be, it was silly of me to worry, but I couldn't help it. But then, she hasn't been introduced to everyone yet.

"Where are Alice and Jasper?" I asked, more to lure then down from their room than to know, since I knew exactly where they were. Alice was just waiting for some signal or okay for her to finally come down and officially meet Bella.

"Hey, Edward!" After Esme and Carlisle had been extremely careful not to frighten Bella with any too-quick movements, I'm surprised Bella wasn't more shocked when Alice flitted down the staires and up to Bella to meet her...with vampire speed. Carlisle and I shot her glances, warning her to be careful.

_Oh, calm down, Edward. You've been running with her on your back, she's obviously used to it by now. Give her some credit, she's braver and stronger than she appears._

I rolled my eyes. I knew she was brave, and strong, but she was in a house of seven vampires. She _must_ be at least a little uncomfortable.

"Hi, Bella!" Alice squealed, and before I could warn her not to, she kissed Bella's cheek. If I hadn't been glad that Alice had remembered she was human, and barely brushed her skin with her lips, or if I hadn't been worried about Bella's reaction, I would have been jealous. Her second time speaking to Bella, and she's already given her a kiss. How long did it take me to even touch Bella's cheek?

_Oh, my... if this is how she smells to _me_, I wonder how bad Edward has it._ I stiffened, watching Alice's every move, but she seemed in control. Both Carlisle and Esme noticed Alice's muscles tense slightly, and though they trusted her, they couldn't help but worry for Bella's safety. And sanity, for that matter, having just been kissed by a vampire she hardly knows.

Although, that's happened before...

I wiped the smile off my face when Alice pulled back, eyes a little too bright for my liking. But Bella, oddly enough, had a smile still on her face. She looked a tad bit surprised, but that's probably because she didn't expect Alice to be so informal after Carlisle and Esme's introductions.

"You _do_ smell nice, I never noticed before," Alice commented, and Bella's cheeks turned a lovely light shade of pink. Just at the wrong time, I might add, for Jasper had chosen now to make an appearance.

_Don't think about it. Don't think about it. Just...calm. She smells nice, yes, but you don't want that, think of Edward. And her father, Charlie. And the fact that one day, she might become my sister._ I raised my eyebrow at Jasper, about to start laughing at his assumption, but stopped myself before I started, because after I thought about it...

That didn't sound so bad. That didn't sound so bad, at all.

"Hello, Bella," Jasper greeted her from across the room, making no approach. Bella seemed to understand that this wasn't personal, that it was a matter of life or death.

"Hello, Jasper," she sounded shy, but not uncomfortable, as she smiled and turned to face everyone, "it's nice to meet you all. You have a very beautiful home." Well, she's got Esme wrapped around her finger now, I'm sure of it.

"Thank you, we're so glad you came." _It's good she loves my decorating style, how nice it'd be if she came to live with us some day... oh, but I'm getting ahead of myself, I'm sure._

_Edward,_ Carlisle called out to me, and my eyes flickered over to him. _In case Alice hasn't informed you yet, she's seen a coven of three heading this way. She saw that they are just passing through, they shouldn't cross our paths, but just in case you might want to keep a close eye on Bella for a little while. They will know of our coven here, they will be curious but they will most likely stay away because of our numbers._ I nodded my head once, slightly so as not to call attention to myself by Bella...she didn't need to know about this. It might frighten her away from being near me, ...but that might be best for her. I might tell her, and I'll let her make the decision.

Bella's gaze raked over my house, landing on my piano. She looked at it with reverie, which didn't slip Esme's notice.

"Do you play?" she asked, nodding her head toward the piano. Bella shook her head.

"Not at all. But it's so beautiful. Is it yours?" Esme giggled, she knew how to play, but she didnt enjoy it as well as Rosalie and I.

"No. Edward didn't tell you he was musical?" Whoops...

"No," she answered, shooting a glare at me. "I should have known, I guess." Esme raised her eyebrows, confused. "Edward can do everything, right?" Jasper laughed, already quite taken with Bella, which would have made me smile if Esme hadn't sent me a dissaporoving look.

"I hope you haven't been showing off. It's rude."

"Just a bit," I said, laughing. I then realized, as Esme's expression changed at the sound of my laughter, that she hadn't heard me laugh like this, so happily, so feely in a long time.

_Its good to hear that...I've missed your laugh. This young woman has done amazing things to you, Edward. I'm so glad you've found her._

"He's been too modest, actually," Bella stated, and I fought the roll of my eyes.

"Well, play for her," Esme suggested, taking any chance she could at hearing me play.

"You just said showing off was rude," I grinned playfully at her.

"There are exceptions to every rule," she said simply, almost enough to make me go play for her and Bella. But, I wonder, would Bella enjoy listening to my playing the piano? It had me nervous, which was odd because I was confident in my ability to play, but her approval of my compositions and my playing meant more to me than an audience of millions.

"I'd like to hear you play," she said, her voice small. That made up my mind.

"It's settled, then." Esme started pushing me towards the piano, and I wouldn't go without Bella. I brought her along with me, sitting on the bench and setting her down beside me. Everyone left, giving us some time to be alone, for which I was grateful. I looked into her eyes, and I wanted nothing more than to play her lullaby, but I couldn't. Not just yet, I needed to know how she felt about my music first. I turned to the keys, deciding to start with Esme's piece. So beautiful, so complex, and perfect for Esme and Carlisle. I looked over to Bella, and her mouth was open, eyes wide.

"Do you like it?" She must have realized, just then, that I wrote it.

"You wrote this?" she asked with a gasp, staring into my eyes. I simply nodded.

"It's Esme's favourite." She closed her eyes and shook her head a small bit, and instantly I regretted playing such a complex piece first.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm feeling extremely insignificant." Rediculous. She was the most significant being in this world. And I suppose, if not now, then when else should I show her? I slowly morphed Esme's song into Bella's, playing softly and watching realization dawn on her face. She recognized this from when I hummed it to her last night.

"You inspired this one." She didn't say anything, she just watched my fingers flow across the keys, watched my face, my eyes, just watched me play. I heard the approving thoughts of Bella, from everyone but Rosalie. Even Emmett, who hadn't been downstaires to meet her, but had heard everything, decided he thought she was allright. He hoped that Rosalie would get over whatever dislike she had for Bella, but he knew it was unlikely. Rose was, if nothing else, stubborn. He knew his wife pretty well. Everyone else, however, was quite taken with Bella already. "They like you, you know. Esme especially." She looked over her shoulder, just noticing now that we were alone.

"Where did they go?"

"Very sibtly giving us some privacy, I suppose." She sighed, looking upset, and I was almost sure it was because of my two missing family members.

"_They_ like me. But Rosalie and Emmett..." I frowned as I heard Rosalie's hiss from upstaires. So childish. Emmett, however, was regretful that he hadn't just come downstaires to meet her.

_I'm sorry, man. I don't know why Rosalie is taking this so hard, I don't think it's that big of a deal. She sounds cool, though, let her know that I don't have a problem with her?_

"Don't worry about Rosalie, she'll come around."

_When hell freezes over._

I ignored that, and watched as Bella looked a bit more hopefull, but pursed her lips.

"Emmett?"

"Well, he thinks _I'm_ a lunatic, it's true, but he doesn't have a problem with you. He's trying to reason with Rosalie."

"What is it that upsets her?" I sighed. I couldn't exactly go into full detail about how Rosalie is...and why she is, without giving too much information away. I couldn't make her understand, and this wasn't my story to tell. Also, she was just upstaires. I thought through my explanation carefully.

"Rosalie struggles the most with...with what we are. It's hard for her to have someone on the outside know the truth. And she's a little jealous." This time, I was worried that Bella's ears might have picked up the hiss, accompanied by a long low warning growl. Emmett was just confused.

"_Rosalie_ is jealous of _me_?" She asked, eyes wide, when really it made perfect sense to me. Of course everyone should be jealous of Bella, she was the most beautiful, most perfectly imperfect person on this earth. But Rosalie, being completely comfortable with how she looks, obviously wasn't jealous of Bella in that way. How she could think Bella looked plain was completely beyond m.

"You're human." I shrugged, trying to assure her this was nothing big, that she shouldn't worry about Rosalie. "She wishes that she were, too."

"Oh," she took a moment to consider that. "Even Jasper, though..."

"That's really my fault." I could hear Jasper thinking upstaires, wishing he had better control over himself so that he hadn't given her the impression of not liking her. He did, he just liked her scent a little more... "I told you he was the most recent to try our way of life. I warned him to keep his distance." She thought about it, and seemed to accept it easily enough.

"Esme and Carlisle?"

"Are happy to see me happy. Actually, Esme wouldn't care if you had a third eye and webbed feet." I could hear her quiet tinkling laugh. She knew it was true. Rosalie just snorted. "All this time she's been worried about me, afraid that there was something missing from my essential makeup, that I was too young when Carlisle changed me...She's ecstatic. Every time I touch you, she just about chokes with satisfaction." No need to say that I have just about the same reaction.

"Alice seems very...enthusiastic." That she does. I didn't exactly want to explain to her why that was, though.

"Alice has her own way of looking at things."

"And you're not going to explain that, are you?" I looked at her, and I knew she knew that I was hiding things from her. I think she understood that I wouldn't tell her, though. It was either for her own good, or...not. I wasn't sure. "So what was Carlisle telling you before?"

Amazing. She never misses a thing. Since the day we met, she's noticed everything. "You noticed that, did you?" She shrugged nonchalantely.

"Of course." Well, I suppose I told myself I would tell her...let her decide what to make of this.

"He wanted to tell me some news. He didn't know if it was somethin I would share with you."

"Will you?"

"I have to, because I'm going to be a little...overbearingly protective over the next few days...or weeks, and I wouldn't want you to think I'm naturally a tyrant."

_Are, too!_ Thanks, Alice, Jasper, Emmett...

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, exactly. Alice just sees some visitors coming soon. They know we're here, and they're curious."

"Visitors?"

"Yes...well, they aren't like us, of course...in their hunting habits, I mean. They probably won't come into town at all, but I'm certainly not going to let you out of my sight till they're gone." She shivered. She was actually frightened. So, is it just my family and I, then, that she feels comfortable with? If there was another vampire, just as dangerous as us, that crossed paths with her, would she have been so accepting? Was it me that made her so...accepting? It was comforting to know, though, that she did have _some_ sense of self-preservation.

"Finally, a rational response! I was begining to think you had no sense of self-preservation at all." She ignored that comment, looking around in awe at the house. "Not what you expected, is it?"

"No."

"No coffins, no piled skulls in the corners...I don't even think we have cobwebs," _Never!_ Ah, Esme. Always cleaning. "What a dissapointment this must be for you," I joked, but she ignored that too, even though it looked like she was fighting the temptation to roll her eyes at me.

"It's so light...so open."

"It's the one place we never have to hide." Bella's lullaby came to an end, and the silence was almost sad without her lullaby to fill it.

"Thank you," she said, quietly, her voice shook a small bit. I looked down to her, and she had tears in her eyes. My heart must have burst out of my chest at that moment. I looked down...nope, no gaping holes. Bella was dabbing at her eyes, her cheeks turning pink again. I took the opportunity while I could, and captured one of her tears on my finger.

I looked at it, and for some reason I found it beautiful. I've seen tears before on countless humans. I've cried tears of my own when I was human. But this one tear from Bella seemed so meaningful, like it was full of love.

I did it before I thought about it. I tasted it. Why? I'm not sure. Maybe because I wanted a part of her in me. Maybe because I was curious as to how such a beautiful tear would taste. It tasted like, well, a tear. But, at least, it didn't taste awful like human tears. It tasted like a Bella seasoned tear.

She was looking at me like I'd gone crazy. I suppose I'd think I was crazy, seeing myself do that as well. But I smiled at her, like I hadn't just drank her tears.

"Do you want to see the rest of the house?"

"No coffins?" she joked, but I could tell she was a bit serious.

"No coffins," I promised her, and got up, taking her hand once again in mine and led her up my stairecase.

**Sorry sorry sorry sorry SORRYYYYYY! I still love all your reviews, the new reviewers too, you all make me a very very happy panda - Twolden77, Rose Virgo, Hhoward, Nina79, Angela90210, iLiya11, Nyssah, xoxojckaxoxo, charleigh91, and lr97 - thanks for all your support, and continuing to read even though i've been a horrible writer and haven't been posting much lately :P**

**-moonstruckmanda**


	12. Chapter 12

**I know, it's super short :P But hey, I didn't expect to be writing anything for a couple weeks, and I probably won't write any big chapters for a little while, so I'd suggest you take what you can get :P**

**So, wow, WOW. Thank you ALL soooo much for all your amazing reviews, and thank you for understanding my whole life thing. Makes me smile knowing that you'd still read, even though my postings are erratic and sometimes spread out pretty far. But anyways, here's the chapter :) Don't own twilight!**

**-moonstruckmanda**

There's only been a few times I've taken these staires at human speed. It'd be boring, if it weren't for Bella being here. I pointed out who's room belonged to whom as we passed, ignoring the thoughts coming from Rosalie's. Suddenly, Bella stopped, staring at my father's fathers' cross hanging on the wall as though it were the most funniest, most ironic thing she'd ever seen. Which, I suppose it might have been. A religious cross, in the middle of a house of vampires. And the story behind it, as well, is ironic. I laughed, guessing that she wanted to do the same, but was trying not to.

"You can laugh. It _is_ sort of ironic." She didn't laugh, which frustrated me. I thought I'd at least have had her basic facial expressions figured out.

Extremely frustrating. But instead, she raised her hand as if to touch it, but didn't. "It must be very old."

"Early sixteen-thirties, more or less," I added a shrug, to me it was nothing but to her...

"Why do you keep this here?"

"Nostalgia. It belonged to Carlisle's father."

"He collected antiques?" Obviously, she must have thought Carlisle was around the same age as me. Or hadn't even thought about it. I feared telling her, Carlisle's age might make this all too real for her.

"No. He carved this himself. It hung on the wall above the pulpit in the vicarage where he preached."

There, that was the first of expressions I expected. Shock. Next to come was fear, maybe, disbelief? Soon she'd realize she wanted no part in my life, this would be a lot to take in for any normal human, and run off.

I would not follow her.

...I think.

I waited for the other expressions, but none of the ones I expected came. She was calculating the years. She was still shocked, but not repulsed or frightened. Her eyes held none of that.

"Are you all right?"

"How old is Carlisle?"

"He just celebrated his three hundred and sixty-second birthday." She looked at me, not frightened at all, but curious. Thousands upon thousands of questions swam around in her eyes, pleading for my answers. I decided to tell her, she's told me so much about her. Not hardly enough, but quite a bit. "Carlisle was born in London, in the sixteen-forties, he believes. Time wasn't marked as accurately then, for the common people anyway. It was just before Cromwell's rule, though. He was the only son of an Anglican pastor. His mother died giving birth to him. His father was an intolerant man. As the Protestants came into power, he was enthusiastic in his persecution of Roman Catholics and other religions. He also believed very strongly in the reality of evil. He lef hunts for witches, werewolves...and vampires."

I saw her freeze at the word, and logged it in my mind not to bring up the word much more. She may be comfortable around me, but obviously she isn't as comfortable with what I am as she lets on. I rejoiced, a small bit, at this fact at the same time as I was upset by it.

"They burned a lot of innocent people-" I heard Carlisle shaking his head in disgust, sitting in his office. He remembered that, thinking he was right at the time, unknowingly helping kill innocents. Though he did, when he took over the hunting, kill less than his father, take more caution about who and what he hunted, he still felt absolutely awful when he did finally find an actual vampire, and knew instantly that those he had killed, those that had burned over all these years by himself or by his father, were all innocent. At the time he had found the actual vampires, though, he didn't have much time to feel sympathy for them... "of course the real creatures that he sought were not so easy to catch. When the pastor grew old, he placed his obedient son in charge of the raids. At first Carlisle was a dissapointment; he was not quick to accuse, to see demons where they did not exist. But he was persistent, and more clever than his father. He actually discovered a coven of true vampires that lived hidden in the sewers of the city, only coming out by night to hunt. In those days, when monsters were not just myths and legends, that was the way many lived. The people gathered their pitchforks and torches, of course..."

I had to pause to laugh. Lot of good a pitchfork would do. And a torch, the fire wouldn't have time to catch on the vampire before the human weilding the weapon would be dead.

"and waited where Carlisle had seen the monsters exit into the street. Eventually one emerged. He must have been ancient, and weak with hunger. Carlisel heard him call out in Latin to the others when he caught the scent of the mob. He ran through the streets, and Carlisle - he was twenty-three and very fast - was in the lead of the pursuit. The creature could have easily outrun them, but Carlisle thinks he was too hungry, so he turned and attacked. He fell on Carlisle first, but the others were close behind, and he turned to defend himself. He killed two men, and made off with a third, leaving Carlisle bleeding in the street."

I was choosing my words carefully. She might already know the way to be transformed, for Hollywood has guessed right at that much at least, you need to be bitten to become one of us, but I'd rather not chance her finding out if she didn't already know.

"Carlisle knew what his father would do. The bodies would be burned - anything infected by the monster must be destroyed. Carlisle acted instinctively to save his own life. He crawled away from the alley while the mob followed the fiend and his victim. He hid in a cellar, buried himself in rotting potatoes for three days. It's a miracle he was able to keep silent, to stay undiscovered."

Remembering my own transformation, its hard to believe he actually succeded in controlling his screams. I had no control over what sounds left my mouth. The pain was too much, I couldn't think, I didn't care.

"It was over then, and he realized what he had become." I looked over at her, sure that she would be at least a bit frightened by now, but what I found almost shocked me, but not quite, since it fit so well with what being Bella was all about. She was shocked, yes, but also sympathetic for Carlisle. Very Bella. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine," he assured me, and she bit her lip. I watched as the colour of her lip under her teeth started to change to a lighter shade of pink, and bit back my shiver. I quickly looked up to her eyes, and saw more questions. Her curiosity was just as strong as mine, it seemed.

"I expect you have a few more questions for me."

"A few." I grinned, and pulled her back to the direction of Carlisle's office.

"Come on, then. I'll show you."

Strangely enough, I was excited to show her Carlisle's world. My world. Her reactions drove me mad, not knowing the reasons or thoughts behind them, but they also fascinated me. She fascinated me. She always will.

**Super short, I know. If I have time I'll write more tonight, but it won't be posted tonight I'm pretty sure. I've got a huge headache from typing this much (My glasses are broken, and it hurts to look at the screen.) so it might take a few days...or weeks -_- Not sure, but we'll see. Thanks for reading :) Later!**


	13. Chapter 13

**YAY! I'm back home, and for now I think...for at least two months things should be good, so I'll try writing a little bit each day, but this morning was my first morning here so I decided to write a full chapter. Hope you like it :)**

**I don't own twilight... (Yet..MUAHAHAHAH! or.. not.. )**

**-moonstruckmanda**

I walked her to Carlisle's door and waited for his approval to enter. His mental one came half a second before his voiced one. Usually he wouldn't even say one out loud when it was just me, but he spoke for Bella's benefit. Our family may be long used to my silent conversations with everyone, but Bella might not be. We walked in and Bella's eyes were wide, scanning the room full of books on shelves that stretched from the floor to the ceiling.

"What can I do for you?"

"I want to show Bella some of our history. Well, your history, actually." My history is much less interesting.

"We didn't mean to disturb you," Bella half-whispered shyly, and Carlisle smiled at her. _Very polite, she is. Almost old fashioned, a good match for him._

"Not at all. Where are you going to start?" That was a good questions. I'd rather find some good stories, not ones too dark or gruesome for her to understand… how Carlisle decided on vegetarianism, of course, the story wasn't too dark but it was dark enough for me to be hesitant speaking of it to Bella, but what else.

"The Waggoner" I replied, turning Bella around to face the wall of paintings from Carlisle's past. I gave her a moment to take them all in, there were quite a few, and then took her to the painting of London when Carlisle was human. "London in the sixteen-fifties," I explained, and her eyes widened the tiniest bit. Carlisle walked over to us, and looked at the painting, small flickers of memories from his human years floating around in his mind.

"The London of my youth," he said, and I felt Bella flinch. She might be getting a bit scared, which would be good for her, because then she'd run away and I would let her. But…that doesn't mean I can't at least try to comfort her to try to make her stay… I gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

"Will you tell the story?" I asked Carlisle, his telling of the story was always so much more interesting, the way he worded everything, and even though I knew it exactly and could tell it with just as much detail as he could, it was just better hearing it from him. But, unfortunately, he couldn't.

_Sorry son, I've been called to the hospital._ He stopped then, and glanced at Bella.

"I would, but I'm actually running a bit late. The hospital called this morning – Dr. Snow is taking a sick day. Besides, you know the stories as well as I do," _You've heard it enough times, and seen it enough times in my head,_ he added with a wide grin. I glanced at Bella to see her reaction to Carlisle's razor sharp toothy grin, and nothing. Not even a flinch, or an increased heartbeat. Strange.

Carlisle left then, leaving me alone with Bella. She was staring at the small picture of London, while I stared at her, watching every rise and fall of her chest as she breathed, every flicker of her eyelashes…then she turned to me with a million questions burning in her brown eyes.

"What happened then? When he realized what had happened to him?" I looked over to the painting of where Carlisle had stayed for the first month.

"When he knew what he had become, he rebelled against it. He tried to destroy himself. But that's not easily done."

"How?" I was hoping she wouldn't ask that question. But, then again, this is Bella.

"He jumped from great heights. He tried to drown himself in the ocean, but he was young to the new life, and very strong. It is amazing that he was able to resist…feeding…" I chanced a glance at her, but no changes, "while he was still so new. The instinct is more powerful then, it takes over everything. But he was so repelled by himself that he had the strength to try to kill himself with starvation."

"Is that possible?" she asked, and though her appearance didn't give her away, her small voice displayed how she was feeling.

"No, there are very few ways we can be killed." And, knowing Bella, I knew she would ask how, again, so I continued with the story before she could. I told her of him eventually growing weak, and tired…finding it harder and harder to resist feeding. How he took to the forest and hid there from all humans, and stayed there until one night a herd of deer passed by him. He drank them with no thought about it, and he was scared to think of what would have happened that night if it were a human that had passed, he couldn't have controlled himself then. I told her of how over a couple of months Carlisle theorized about this new diet. "He began to make better use of his time. He'd always been intelligent, eager to learn. Now he had unlimited time before him. He studied by night, planned by day. He swam to France and-"

"He _swam_ to France?"

"People swim the Channel all the time, Bella."

"That's true, I guess. It just sounded funny in that context. Go on." I suppose, the fact that we don't need to breathe makes for an interesting fact about us.

"Swimming is easy for us-"

"Everything is easy for _you_." I waited for her to interrupt me, fighting back a chuckle. "I won't interrupt again, I promise."

I couldn't hold back the chuckle, then.

"Because, technically, we don't need to breathe."

"You-"

"No, no, you promised" I teased, laughing and putting my finger to her lips. Not to touch her lips, oh no. This was strictly to stop her from speaking. The other reason would be perverse. "Do you want to hear the story or not?"

"You can't spring something like that on me," I froze, the same expression on my face again, but nothing close to that was the emotion reeling inside me. The sensation of her lips moving against my finger… I fought back my shudders and tried to clear my head, listen to what she was saying. "and then expect me not to say anything," I lifted my finger off her lips. I'm sure I couldn't take that amazing torture any longer. I settled for resting my hand on her neck. "You don't have to _breathe?_"

"No, it's not necessary. Just a habit." I shrugged, but she was wanted to know more.

"How long can you go…without _breathing_?

"Indefinitely, I suppose; I don't know. It gets a bit uncomfortable – being without a sense of smell."

"A bit uncomfortable," she repeated, sounding as though she didn't believe me. Her eyes were the size of saucers, her lips parted into almost an O shape, but not quite. She looked as though she were about to start screaming and run away. I expected this, but that didn't mean it hurt any less when it actually happened. Her expression changed, suddenly, she looked worried. Sad. "What is it?" She placed her hand on my face, and I leaned into her touch. Though I knew she would leave me, eventually, I couldn't help but enjoy what I had while she was still here. I sighed, and spoke the truth.

"I keep waiting for it to happen."

"For what to happen?"

"I know that at some point, something I tell you or something you see is going to be too much. And then you'll run away from me, screaming as you go. I won't stop you. I want this to happen, because I want you to be save. And yet, I want to be with you. The two desires are impossible to reconcile…" Well, not exactly impossible, according to a vision of Alice's, but I won't go there. I watched her face, trying to read her expression, trying harder to read her mind…

"I'm not going anywhere." The electricity I felt whenever we touched went haywire, I felt jolts everywhere, mostly where her hand was on my face, and I smiled.

"We'll see." She frowned, which only made me smile wider.

"So, go on – Carlisle was swimming to France." I looked over to the picture of Carlisle with the Volturi.

"Carlisle swam to France, and continued on through Europe, to the universities there. By night he studied music, science, medicine – and found his calling, his penance, in that, in saving human lives. I can't adequately describe it, the struggle…it took Carlisle two centuries of torturous effort to perfect his self-control. Now he is all but immune to the scent of human blood-" I always hoped that one day, I would achieve that same accomplishment, but then-it sounded so impossible being near Bella. But I suppose, if anything, her blood has made me exponentially more tolerant of other's blood. "and he is able to do the work he loves without agony. He finds a great deal of peace there, at the hospital…"

At that moment, Bella breathed out and her breathe covered my face. It was like a pull, like her breath was fishing for me and I was the prize she was reeling in. It was terribly, extremely hard not to give in. But I was in the middle of a story she wanted to hear. I shook my head a bit, trying to clear it of it's Bella haze, and tapped the picture lightly with my fingers.

"He was studying in Italy when he discovered the others there. They were much more civilized and educated than the wraiths of the London sewers," I continued, running my finger along the painted figures of Carlisle, Aro, Marcus and Caius. "Solimena was greatly inspired by Carlisle's friends. He often painted them as gods. Aro, Marcus, Caius – Nighttime patrons of the arts."

"What happened to them?" she asked, hovering her finger over the figures on the painting, careful not to touch it as if she might break it.

"They're still there, as they have been for who knows how many millennia. Carlisle stayed with them only for a short time, just a few decades. He greatly admired their civility, their refinement, but they persisted in trying to cure his aversion to his 'natural food source,' as they called it. They tried to persuade him, to no avail. At that point, Carlisle decided to try the New World. He dreamed of finding others like himself. He was very lonely, you see."

"He didn't find anyone for a long time. But, as monsters became the stuff of fairy tales, he found he could interact with unsuspecting humans as if he were one of them. He began practicing medicine. But the companionship he craved evaded him; he couldn't risk familiarity."

"When the influenza epidemic hit, he was working nights in a hospital in Chicago. He'd been turning over an idea in his mind for several years, and he had almost decided to act – since he couldn't find a companion, he would create one. He wasn't absolutely sure how his own transformation had occurred, so he was hesitant. And he was loath to steal anyone's life the way his had been stolen. It was in that frame of mind that he found me. There was no home for me; I was left in a ward with the dying. He had nursed my parents, and knew I was alone. He decided to try…" I stopped, reminding myself that this was Bella I was explaining this to, and I didn't want her knowing of how the transformation was made, or about how it was three long days of the most torturous agony anyone's ever known… I looked back at Bella and smiled. "And so we've come full circle."

"Have you always stayed with Carlisle, then?" I turned her and walked her through the door to keep her from seeing the expression on my face as I answered her.

"Almost always." I didn't want her to know, in full detail, the decade alone I spent. We were walking down the hall towards my room in silence, and I hoped, foolishly, that she would drop the subject. But, of course, no such luck.

"Almost?" I sighed, knowing she would expect the worst anyways if I didn't tell her.

"Well, I had a typical bout of rebellious adolescence – about ten years after I was…born…created, whatever you want to call it. I wasn't sold on his life of abstinence, and I resented him for curbing my appetite. So I went off on my own for a time."

"Really?" she asked, intrigued. _Intrigued?_ Where was the repulsion? The natural way to react when someone confesses to multiple murders…?

"That doesn't repulse you?"

"No." How...why? And…but, she's so compassionate. Does she not care for human lives? But that seems so unlike her.

"Why not?"

"I guess…it sounds reasonable." I laughed, and it was not a mirthful laugh. It was a dark laugh, because that's what I told myself each time I killed someone.

"From the time of my new birth, I had the advantage of knowing what everyone around me was thinking, both human and non-human alike. That's why it took me ten years to defy Carlisle – I could read his perfect sincerity, understand exactly why he lived the way he did. It took me only a few years to return to Carlisle and recommit to his vision. I thought I would be exempt from the…depression…that accompanies a conscience. Because I knew the thoughts of my prey, I could pass over the innocent and peruse only the evil. If I followed a murderer down a dark alley where he stalked a young girl – if I saved her, then surely I wasn't so terrible."

Bella shivered, knowing what I was seeing in my head.

"But as time went on, I begun to see the monster in my eyes. I couldn't escape the debt of so much human life taken, no matter how justified. And I went back to Carlisle and Esme. They welcomed me back like the prodigal. It was more than I deserved." We stopped in front of my room. I told her as much, and opened my door. I pulled her in, closing the door behind me, and watched her as she took everything in. My glass wall, my music, the fabric on my walls…

"Good acoustics?" I laughed, nodding. I turned some music on as she walked over to look over of my CD's. The dent between her eyebrows became more and more pronounced as she raked her eyes over them. She switched from having all her weight on her right foot to her left, her body swaying with the movement. How could someone so clumsy have so much grace?

"How do you have these organized?" The question brought me out of my Bella-induced haze.

"Ummm," and since when do I say 'um'? "by year, and then by personal preference within that frame." I answered, still watching her body as it moves. It was almost like every move she made, and how she made it was more important than anything in the world. Like the world revolved around how she moves. Mesmerizing.

She turned then, to look at me.

"What?" And then, just like that, I'm caught in a predicament. Because I couldn't exactly tell her what I was actually thinking, but I never want to lie to her. So I pick something out of my mind that I was thinking, just not what I was thinking just now.

"I was prepared to feel…relieved. Having you know about everything, not needing to keep secrets from you. But I didn't expect to feel more than that. I _like_ it. It makes me feel…happy," I concluded with a shrug, even though to me it was nothing close to worthy of a nonchalant shrug. She smiled a bright, eyes-lighting-up smile.

"I'm glad," she stated, so simply, and I searched her face for any signs of running away. I didn't see any, but I couldn't read her mind to be sure…

Frustrating.

She caught the look on my face, I suppose, because she knew something was up.

"You're still waiting for the running and the screaming, aren't you?" I nodded as the smallest of smiles formed from my lips. "I hate to burst your bubble, but you're really not as scary as you think you are. I don't find you scary at all, actually."

For a moment, I believed her. And then, her heartbeat picked up a little, and I knew it was a lie. But it was close enough to the truth that it wasn't a big lie, so she wasn't terrified of me.

But still, she left herself open like that, and I just can't help myself…

"You _really_ shouldn't have said that," I informed her as I chuckled, then growled a playful but still unnerving growl and curled my lips back to reveal my teeth as I crouched down. I actually found it, even in this playful state, hard not to give in to that nagging tug in the back of my mind, telling me that yes, I actually was hunting, and there was a deliciously sweet meal in front of me, and all this combined with her actual scent swirling around in the air… but I shoved the monster in me back in its cage, let it rattle and roar, have it be mad at me, because I'm mad at myself as well for even having these reactions.

But still, I've controlled myself. And now, as I listen to her heartbeat increase, and her breath coming and going quicker than usual, I know I frighten her.

"You wouldn't," she said, backing away from me, glaring like she thought she was threatening to me in any way.

And then I leapt at her.

**Sorry for stopping at such a random spot, i've got crap to do :P Thanks to all that posted, I love you tons :D Ttyl**


	14. Chapter 14

**Sorry it's been a while, I was writing a little bit here and there. It's kinda short, but the next chapter should be much longer. Thank you to all that have reviewed - Rose Virgo, Twolden77, Hhoward, nina79, Angela90210, Iliya11, Nyssah, Xoxojckaxoxo, Charleigh91, Ir97, Mirell, , Twilightgirl81193, and xOCDxObsessiveCullenDisorderx for all your incredibly sweet & awesome words! :D**

**As usual, I don't own twilight :P**

**Enjoy! :) -moonstruckmanda  
**

Her eyes were darting around as her heartbeat was racing at incredible speeds, her breaths coming in quick gasps. I launched us into my couch, knocking it into the wall, and watched as she realized where we were and struggled to break free from my grasp.

That was not happening.

I hugged her tighter, curling her into a ball in my arms, reveling in the way her skin feels so close to mine, what just the action of hugging her does to me…

Jasper raised an eyebrow from his room. I tried to ignore that.

Bella glared at me, searching my face for any signs of danger.

"You were saying?" I asked, growling still just for the fun of hearing her heart race.

"That you are a very, very terrifying monster," she replied, trying to sound sarcastic but failing miserably, as her heart was still racing and she was still trying to catch her breath.

"Much better."

"Um," she started, wiggling in my grasp, "can I get up now?" I laughed, but held onto her. It would be my undoing to let go of her. But then, maybe I should, because Jasper's chuckling at my current emotions, and I'm sure he'll make fun of me later.

"Can we come in?" Alice called, and Bella tried to struggle free again. I just repositioned her so she was sitting on my lap. Alice and Jasper were standing in the doorway, Jasper smirking at me, and Bella blushed. I worried for a moment how Jasper would handle Bella's deliciously pink cheeks, but was reassured by his thoughts of control.

"Go ahead," I allowed them in, grinning like a fool. Alice sat in the middle of my room, while Jasper hung back by the door.

_Interesting…she's just as affected by your touch as you are hers. Her feelings are strong. Almost vampire strong…_

_And how the Hell is he so close to her, growling and acting like he's hunting, and yet he's not even… it seems like he's not affected but I can sense that deep need he has for her… how absurd. But I suppose, if our places were switched, and it were Alice who was human…_

"It sounded like you were having Bella for lunch, and we came to see if you would share," Alice stated, as though we were discussing the weather. Bella stiffened in my lap, and I grinned even wider.

"Sorry, I don't believe I have enough to spare," I informed her, holding Bella closer to me.

"Actually, Alice says there's going to be a real storm tonight, and Emmett wants to play ball. Are you game?" My eyes lit up at the thought of playing ball with my family, I haven't done that in so long. It would be nice to spend time with them again, I shouldn't have neglected doing so for so long.

But then I remembered Bella, and I don't want to leave her.

"Of course you should bring Bella," Alice added in, flickers of Bella joining us already in her mind. Jasper glanced at her, wondering if Bella could handle the very vampiric atmosphere. I smiled, pushing gratitude towards him so he'd know how much it meant to me that he cared so much already for Bella.

"Do you want to go?" I asked Bella, wanting to show her how we play, and wanting her to have some bonding time with my family. As much as was safe, at least…

"Sure. Um, where are we going?"

"We have to wait for thunder to play ball – You'll see why."

"Will I need an umbrella?" I laughed, because we never thought about things like umbrellas, Alice laughed, because she had already seen that we would be clear for rain, and Jasper laughed because he was affected by Alice and my mirthful emotions. When he could compose himself, he turned to Alice.

"Will she?"

"No. The storm will hit over town It should be dry enough in the clearing."

"Good, then."

"Let's go see if Carlisle will come," Alice said, hopping to her feat.

"Like you don't know," Jasper teased, and then they were gone, leaving Bella and I alone.

"What will we be playing?" For a quarter of a second I was horrified at the thought of Bella playing _with_ us. The ball would kill her twice over.

"_You_ will be watching. We will be playing baseball." She rolled her eyes at me, but she would understand the reasons soon enough.

"Vampires like baseball?"

"It's the American pastime," I mocked, then pulled her up to stand on her feet and we made our way to the car to drive home.

"Bye, Bella. It was really nice meeting you," Esme waved, wearing a bright smile as she saw my arm around Bella's waist.

"It was lovely meeting you as well," she replied with her own small wave, blushing.

The plan, which was to spend my time until the game asking Bella about herself and maybe doing some trivial human things like watching a movie or something, was shredded to bits when I heard his thoughts driving towards Bella's house.

_Damn it. Billy's not here yet. Well, I suppose I could wait for him, as long as Jacob doesn't complain too much, though I hardly doubt he would – what with the possibility of Charlie's girl being here, but…ah, and just my luck, it has to rain. Does fate not want me to warn someone I consider family about her actions? She just doesn't understand, I need to make it clear to her…I hope Charlie will take my hint, finally, but that fight we had over those nasty bloodsuckers the last time, well…I just hope it won't come to that again._

As if that weren't fuel enough for my flames, Billy Black's son, Jacob, was accompanying him.

_I wonder if she's still hanging out with that Cullen guy. Nice car, but how do I compete with that? Maybe she'll find out that I'm planning to build my own car…maybe she'll see me as more mature, then…_

"Dogs never know when to mind their own business…" I muttered, pulling onto Bella's street. I parked Bella's truck up against her curb, and listened to what they thought of my presence.

_Well, isn't this perfect. She's brought it with her. This just made my job a whole hell of a lot harder…how am I supposed to warn Charlie with him standing right there?_

_Ah, she's hanging out with Cullen again… his shiny car isn't anywhere near. She's so pretty… he's so lucky._

If I hadn't been so angry at Billy, I would have smiled at Jacob's easy submission.

"This is crossing the line," I said, locking eyes with the descendant of Ephraim Black. As if it weren't enough that his own son technically broke the treaty, informing Bella of what we were and our story, he now feels the need to warn Charlie about us.

"He came to warn Charlie?" I simply nodded, refusing to look away from Billy. Bella looked back and forth between the two of us and saw the anger written plainly on my face. "Let me deal with this."

Considering my murderous state, that might be a good idea.

"That's probably best. Be careful, though. The child has no idea." Bella's face contorted into annoyance, all of a sudden, and she turned to me.

"Jacob is not that much younger than I am," Bella reminded, defensively. I held back a laugh. I was more referring to maturity level, I suppose, because Bella is of perfect age. Jacob, however, seems like he's ten years old with a crush on a twenty year old.

"Oh, I know," I had to at least smile then. Bella put her handle on the door. "Get them inside so I can leave. I'll be back around dusk."

"Do you want my truck?" Uck! Never. I rolled my eyes.

"I could _walk_ home faster than this truck moves." Her face turned sad and wistful, and I worried for a moment that I had truly offended her.

"You don't have to leave," Ah, how I wish that were true, but with Billy and Jacob being my mortal enemies, knowing my secret and all, I don't think that would be such a good idea.

"Actually, I do–" Hm. That's probably not something I should be discussing with her. Oh. "After you get rid of them, you still have to prepare Charlie to meet your new boyfriend." I smiled my biggest smile, and she groaned.

"Thanks a lot."

I put on the smile that seems to affect her most, my crooked smile, and promised my return.

_Maybe they're just friends. They don't like they're holding hands or anything… I could just be jumping to conclusions._

Jacob Black is one annoying little child. And just to spite him, to mark her mine, I lean in and kiss her, just under her the edge of her jaw. For a moment, all I could hear was Bella's heart thudding wildly in reaction to my simple kiss, and would have smiled, if it weren't for what I heard when I pulled back.

_Oh. I see. So, they're not just friends. Sigh._

_What the HELL does he think he's doing with her? He kissed her…HER NECK basically! He must know how this looks… he must be planning to kill her, luring her in, like she's some helpless human… shit. How am I going to explain all this to Charlie without…ugh. I just hope Bella ends this before…before its too late._

"_Soon_," Bella pleaded, breaking me out of my murderous stares at the Black's, and I watched her leave my truck and head towards the wolves. And for a moment, I worried what Billy might say to her, would she change her mind hearing about my kind from someone like him? But then, I thought, she knows I've killed…she knows the worst of me. And she is still with me. That last thought is what gave me the strength to drive away once the door was closed.

Bella will be fine with them. She may be shy, but she's stubborn. She knows what she wants, and by some miracle, what she wants is me. She wouldn't just give that up because a couple of dogs tell her she can't have that. She can have it. She _does_ have it. She always will.

When I got to my house, I went straight to my room to try and avoid Emmett and Jasper, but it was no use. They were up and in my room as soon as I was.

"Well, well, well. So, Jasper told me about a certain…_emotion_ that you and your new girlfriend were emanating. And I thought you couldn't touch her?" Emmett, always thinking about sex. He wagged his eyebrows suggestively, and Jasper couldn't help but laugh.

"Sorry, man, I had to tell him. That was the first time I've ever really felt that coming from you."

"So, does this mean you two can…you know…now that you know you can touch her without breaking her?" I froze. Emmett knew that could never happen, I already explained this to him. Why is he waving the idea in front of my face like that? I growled at him, a real growl…not my playful growl from before.

"Dude, relax. And Emmett, stop. He can't. Not until…" He didn't finish in his sentence, but it rang in his mind over and over, and it stopped my growl. I hadn't thought of that. If she _was_ changed, she'd be indestructible. We could be together…_that_ way.

Thanks for giving me another reason to change her, Jasper. As if I wasn't selfish enough. Now I want to change Bella simply to make love to her.

Ugh. Listen to me. I'm no better than Mike Newton. I disgust myself.

"Edward, are you okay? You look sick, and that's not an easy look for a vampire to pull off…" Oh, sure, _now_ Emmett's feeling sensitive.

"Can we please just change the subject?" They nodded, and I told them about Billy Black and his plan to try and keep my away from Bella. Before I knew it, it was almost dusk. Time to pick Bella up. Time to officially meet Charlie, as Bella's boyfriend.

Bella is terrifying in her own way. She's so clumsy, and though I love it, it could get her hurt. She's a danger magnet. There are so many ways for her to die, it terrifies me. But other than that, I would have thought no other human could ever terrify me.

I was wrong. Charlie Swan, as the father of the woman I love, is terrifying to me. A vampire.

**Thanks for reading, the next chapter should be up by thursday of next week. Ttfn! :)**


	15. Chapter 15

**Ah, and here it is, all 8000+ words. Not my longest chapter, but close enough. I wanted to stop where I did though, because if I kept going I wouldn't stop. Which, really, isn't that bad, but my fingers hurt :P Thank you to iLiya11, louisianagirl900, Rose Virgo, , twolden77, and xOCDxObsessiveCullenDisorderx for reviewing my last chapter :D You all rock, and I hope you enjoy this chapter, too! :]**

**Don't own twilight! ;)**

**-moonstruckmanda  
**

I could hear Charlie Swan's worried and panicked thoughts from farther away than I usually could have. I couldn't tell much from what I could hear, but the basic point was, he didn't want Bella to date at all, let alone a vampire. While I was glad Bella finally told her father about me, I was now even more worried about what he would say. Would he still allow me to see her? Not that he could really stop me, but it would be nice to have his blessing. I sped up to hear what I could of their conversation before it was time to knock on her door.

_"He'll be here in a few minutes."_

_"Where is he taking you?" I heard her exasperated groan._

_"I hope you're getting the Spanish Inquisition out of your system now. We're going to play baseball with his family."_

I was near her house now, but couldn't drive up yet. I sat at the corner of the house, listening for any signs of Charlie's acceptance. It sounded like he would let her go, he just wouldn't be pleased about it. But then, he suddenly found humor in the situation, chuckling at the mental picture of Bella playing sports. Maybe there was hope for me after all.

"You're_ playing baseball?"_

_"Well, I'll probably watch most of the time."_

_"You must really like this guy,"_ He sounded suspicious. But I suppose, I shouldn't stay out here too long. His last comment gave me the courage to finally drive up. As I did, I heard Bella jump and turn the water on, to start washing her dishes.

_"Leave the dishes, I can do them tonight. You baby me too much."_ I walked up to the door, ringing it and waiting. I heard two footsteps coming toward me, and braced myself. Charlie opened the door, Bella a few steps behind him.

"Come on in, Edward," Charlie greeted me, followed by a relieved sigh from Bella.

"Thanks, Chief Swan."

"Go ahead and call me Charlie. Here, I'll take your jacket." First name basis! This is good so far.

"Thanks, sir."

"Have a sear there, Edward." I watched as Bella grimaced, and listening to what I could of Charlie's mind, I knew that I was indeed in for the Spanish Inquisition. I didn't mind, though, as long as he let me take Bella out. It was good of him to be so protective of her; I wouldn't have it any other way. Especially if she were dating other boys. I held back my shiver and grimace at that though, and took the one single seat. Bella shot me a dirty look as she sat down beside her father on the love seat, and I winked back at her. She was so cute. "So I hear you're getting my girl to watch Baseball," he began, lightly joking to ease the awkward tension.

"Yes, sir, that's the plan."

"Well, more power to you, I guess." He laughed, and I joined in, more to ease his mind. Bella didn't find the humor.

"Okay," she said, standing up suddenly, "enough humor at my expense. Let's go." I followed her as she went to get her jacket, and I did the same.

"Not too late, Bell," Charlie warned her, and me at the same time. He sounded truly worried for her.

"Don't worry, Charlie, I'll have her home early."

"You take care of my girl, all right?" Bella groaned, and I had to bite my tongue on claiming her as _my_ girl. She was, but she'll always be her father's baby.

"She'll be safe with me, I promise, sir." Really, what could happen when she's got seven vampires protecting her? But then, those seven vampires could be the problem. Alice would see if something were to go wrong with Jasper or anyone, though. Bella started leaving, stomping her way towards Emmett's jeep, and I couldn't help laughing. Charlie laughed as well, until Bella stopped, suddenly, staring at the car. Charlie let out a whistle. In his mind, all I could make out was pictures of Bella getting into multiple different car wrecks in that jeep. The images made me a little queasy, thankfully they were blurry and not in much detail. The one time I'm glad I can't fully read Charlie's mind.

"Wear your seatbelts," he half-choked.

I followed Bella to her side of the jeep and opened the door for her. I almost chuckled as she looked back and forth between the ground and the jeep's seat, preparing to jump.

I sighed. She could be so cute without even trying.

I lifted her up and into her seat as if she were a feather and placed her into the jeep. I watched her attempt to buckle herself into the harness as I walked around the car to the driver's side at an annoyingly slow human pace. Charlie was still watching.

Bella tried, but couldn't get all the buckles figured out. It was quite amusing to watch, actually.

"What's all this?" she asked finally, completely exasperated.

"It's an off-roading harness."

"Uh oh."

I watched her for a few more moments, then sighed looking at the time. My family would be getting there soon. Charlie was still watching us from the porch waiting for us to take off, but he couldn't see me as I buckled Bella in. I took that opportunity to touch Bella's neck, cheeks and collar bone wherever my hangs passed by her face. She gave up trying to help me and closed her eyes, breathing heavily.

I finished buckling her in and reluctantly pulled away from her. I stole one last glance at Bella, her wet hair sticking to parts of her face, and started to drive.

"This is a…um…_big_ jeep you have."

"It's Emmett's. I didn't think you'd want to run the whole way." Hopefully she wouldn't pick up on that. She didn't like running too much the last time we did…

"Where do you keep this thing?"

"We remodeled one of the outbuildings into a garage."

"Aren't you going to put on your seat belt?" Was she serious? I don't think an indestructible vampire had any use for a seat belt. I watched as her face turned from sheepish to a look of pure horror. "Run the _whole_ way?" Uh oh. "As in, we're still going to run part of the way?" She sounded on the edge of panic. Maybe humor would calm her nerves. I tried my best at a smile.

"You're not going to run."

"_I'm_ going to be sick."

"Keep your eyes closed, you'll be fine." She was nervously biting her lip. Maybe she would calm down if I kissed her, she usually loses whatever sense of self-preservation she has when kissing her vampire boyfriend.

I leaned in to kiss her, but stopped when her scent swirled around my head like a thick haze. Her blood. Her sweet, sweet blood and rain. Mixed together in this car, this closed car, and it would be so easy…

I groaned. She looked at me questioningly, and I was reluctant to answer. How to put this?

"You smell so good in the rain."

"In a good way, or in a bad way?" Truthfully, she smelled rather desirable in the rain, in the good way, as well. Unfortunately, my attention was rather committed to the other scent too much to notice. I sighed. When will I finally become completely immune to her scent? It's getting easier, but I'd rather be like Carlisle…unaffected.

"Both. Always both."

The rest of the ride was silent, but almost wasn't. I found it incredibly hard to restrain myself from laughing as I watched Bella from the corner of my eye bouncing up and down as we drove through the forest. I sat still as stone. In contrast, it was quite humorous. I managed to keep from laughing, but a large smile stayed planted on my face.

We reached where we'd have to get out, and I could smell the scent of my family. They were already here.

"Sorry, Bella, we have to go on foot from here."

"You know what? I'll just wait here."

"What happened to all your courage? You were extra-ordinary this morning." Hopefully a challenge would make her come.

"I haven't forgotten the last time yet." I flashed to her side of the car, starting to unbuckle her. "I'll get those, you go on ahead."

"Hmmm…" I got her unbuckled and set my face as serious as I could manage. I'm almost sure my set mouth twitched, though. "It seems I'm going to have to tamper with your memory." Once she's out of the car, and knowing before hand how good she smells right now, I should be in control. I pulled her out of the jeep and set her down.

"Tamper with my memory?"

"Something like that." I looked deep into her warm chocolate-pool eyes, placed my hands against the jeep on either side of her head, and started leaning forward until she was pressed firmly against the vehicle and I was centimeters away from her. "Now…" I watched as her eyes fluttered slightly as my breath fanned her face. "What exactly are you worrying about?"

"Well, um, hitting a tree-" she gulped, looking nervous, "and dying. And then getting sick." Definitely sure my mouth twitched into an almost-smile then. So cute.

I bent down to close the gap, and lightly brushed my lips over the hollow at the base of her throat.

"Are you still worried now?" I asked speaking into her neck.

"Yes. About hitting trees and getting sick." Ah, a small but accountable success. I'm winning. I dragged my nose softly up her throat to her chin. I almost forgot what I was trying to do, getting lost in the feel of her, but regained my focus.

"And now?"

"Trees," she gasped loudly, "Motion sickness." I lifted my face to meet her eyes with mine, but they were closed. I kissed each one.

"Bella, you don't really think I would hit a tree, do you?"

"No, but _I_ might." I kissed down her cheek, pausing right beside her mouth, teasing her.

"Would I let a tree hurt you?"

"No" she sounded breathless, and I smiled for a quick second at how much I affect her.

"You see," I continued, speaking against her lips now, "there's nothing to be afraid of, is there?"

"No" she sighed, and I cupped her face in my hands and kissed her. My lips were on fire, a tingling, satisfying fire that seemed would never end – until Bella decided she wanted more. She twined her fingers through my hair, and she pressed herself against me leaving no gaps between us. Though I much rather preferred this, her heart was beating rapidly and she was just so _close_ and I wanted her to be _closer_ and I had to stop now before I crushed her against me. I couldn't do it, though. She just felt so _right_ here, that maybe if I just let her have this, if I let her play with my hair and press herself against me, maybe I could keep myself in control for a little while longer…

And then she parted her lips against mine. And she sighed, at the same time I inhaled, and I needed to get out of here. _Now_.

I pulled her arms away from me as gently as I could manage and staggered back. I was gasping for clean, non-Bella-scented air. Damn it, Bella! You'll be the death of me, I swear you will." She leaned over, holding herself up by clutching at her knees.

"You're indestructible," she argued, gasping as heavily as I was.

"I might have believed that before I met _you_. Now let's get out of here before I do something really stupid." I was growling, but I couldn't help it. The monstrous beast was finding its way out of its cage, and it was quickly controlling me. I needed to calm down.

I threw her on my back before she could respond and locked her arms around my neck.

"Don't forget to close your eyes," I warned her, trying my best to keep in control and be gentle with her. Once I felt her hide her face in my shoulder, I took off.

The fresh air in my face, the little critters scattering away from me, the leaves grazing my skin and my clothes all helped to calm me down. I felt free, like I was flying, and better yet my Bella was flying with me. By the time we reached near where my family would be, I was back to my controlled self. I stopped, and touched Bella's hair.

"It's over, Bella." Slowly, she peeked out from behind my shoulder – her face looking its normal colour. She tried unlocking herself from me, but once she succeeded in doing so, she fell from my back. I turned around in time to see her land on her rump, the most hilarious expression on her face, as she let out a low "Oof!"

There was no way I could control it. I burst into a loud fit of laughter. I thought there was no possible way I could have laughed any harder, until she started brushing the mud and bracken off her rear. I stood corrected. I finally stopped, but only because she started storming away from me with an annoyed look. I snaked my arm around her waist.

"Where are you going, Bella?"

"To watch a baseball game. You don't seem to be interested in playing anymore, but I'm sure the others will have fun without you."

"You're going the wrong way." She turned to face the opposite way of which she was headed to first, and strode off without looking at me. I immediately felt horrible. I caught her again, pulling her closer to me. "Don't be mad, I couldn't help myself. You should have seen your face," and before I knew it, I was chuckling again at the memory. Damn vampire perfect recall.

"Oh, you're the only one who's allowed to get mad?"

"I wasn't mad at you."

" 'Bella, you'll be the death of me'?"

"_That_ was simply a statement of fact." She tried to turn away from me again, but I wouldn't let her.

"You were mad."

"Yes."

"But you just said-"

"That I wasn't mad at _you_. Can't you see that, Bella? Don't you understand?"

"See what?" she asked, completely oblivious, with a cute confused expression on her face.

"I'm never angry with you – how could I be? Brave, trusting…warm as you are."

"Then why?" she whispered, looking like she was trying to piece together a complicated puzzle.

"I infuriate myself. The way I can't seem to keep from putting you in danger. My very existence puts you at risk. Sometimes I truly hate myself. I should be stronger, I should be able to-" She cut me off, putting a warm delicate finger to my cold, dead lips.

"Don't." I took her hands in mine, pressing it to my cheek.

"I love you. It's a poor excuse for what I'm doing, but it's still true." Her eyes lit up, brightly, and I wondered why. I ran through all my conversations with her, and realized it was the first time I'd actually said the words out loud to her. My eyes lit up with the same happiness. This event deserves a celebration. "Now, please try to behave yourself," I instructed as I looked into her eyes, trying to portray my seriousness. I then softly kissed her warm lips, and she stayed completely still – except for her heartbeat, which was fluttering wildly.

When I broke the kiss, she sighed, looking sad but accepting to the fact that we need to go meet my family.

"You promised Chief Swan that you would have me home early, remember? We'd better get going."

"Yes ma'am," I agreed, smiling, wishing I could just spend forever kissing her – I don't think I'd ever tire of it, and released her, taking her hand and leading her in the direction of my family.

_Take forever, much?_ Just ignore Rosalie. No matter how much she makes you want to rip her head off, just ignore her. Absolutely laughable that Bella would ever be even the slightest bit jealous of her.

_I love how she makes him laugh so loudly, so freely!_

_Dude, you sounded like a dying bear!_

I had previously been ignoring my family, but I knew they were listening to my conversation with Bella. Where Carlisle sympathized with my struggle, Esme, Alice, and Emmett were just happy that I was laughing. Emmett and Esme wanted to come greet Bella and I, and Esme did. Emmett waited a few seconds, staring at Rosalie hoping she'd cave and come with him, but he gave up and followed Esme over.

_If he thinks I'm going over to meet the boring human child, he is __**seriously**__ mistaken._

_She'll come around, Edward. Give her time._ Yeah, sure she will. When pigs fly – without the help of vampires.

"Was that you we heard, Edward" Esme asked, reaching us and giving Bella a gentle smile.

"It sounded like a bear choking" Emmett added, earning a smile from Bella.

"That was him."

"Bella was being unintentionally funny," I clarified.

_Damn, which I'd have seen that. Humans are hilarious, clumsy humans are even better._

Alice danced her way over to us, and I saw Bella watch her move with a wistful look on her face.

"It's time," she announced, not half a second before thunder struck.

"Eerie, isn't it?" Emmett joked, sending me a wink. I rolled my eyes.

"Let's go," Alice grabbed Emmett's hand and led him out to the field. I turned to Bella; she was watching Alice and Emmett run off.

"Are you ready for some ball?" I asked, excited to show off my speed for my Bella. Anything to impress the woman I love, right?

"Go team!" she tried to sound cheerful, but she sounded so lost, it was adorable. I chuckled, and then shot off towards Alice and Emmett, passing them and moving on to Carlisle. I heard Esme talking to Bella, getting to know her and liking what she was finding. Bella seemed to be a bit nervous, but more comfortable speaking with Esme than she was this morning. It was very pleasant, knowing my mother and my girlfriend liked each other.

One particular topic took my attention away from helping to set up. Esme was explaining to Bella what happened when Esme passed away. I had told Bella she fell, but the truth was Esme had jumped from a cliff after her child had died. I didn't feel it was my business to tell such stories, but Esme didn't feel the same way.

_It's alright, Edward. I'm not ashamed of it. If I hadn't done so, I never would have met Carlisle, or any of you. I'm happy my existence turned out this way. I wouldn't take back jumping for anything._

They continued on with their discussion, talking about how Bella's supposedly all wrong for me. Absolute blasphemy. _I'm_ the one who's all wrong for _her_. She could do so much better. But then, I'm glad she's chosen me.

I always enjoyed being on Alice's team. With her predictions as to which throwing techniques usually messed up the batter, and my mind reading helping me to know what the other team is planning, it was really an unfair advantage – but no one was complaining. Yet.

"All right," Esme called, and we all positioned ourselves. "Batter up." And so the game began. I almost doubled over laughing when Emmett missed the ball, and Bella had to clarify with Esme that that was, indeed, a strike. Charlie really wasn't kidding.

I've never ran full speed with Bella, I usually slow down my pace to enjoy the feel of running with her by my side – or rather, on my back. Bella doesn't know how fast I can actually go. Where Emmett's the strongest vampire we've ever met, I'm the fastest.

The first time Bella heard it, she jumped. The second ball Alice swung was hit by Emmett, and an earth shattering crack boomed all through the field. It sounded exactly like thunder, the reason we couldn't play unless there was a thunder storm out. I took a sixteenth of a second to notice the look of understanding flash across Bella's face before I shot off towards the ball. I almost didn't make it in time, but I caught it and ran back, earning Esme's "Safe."

The game went back and forth as it usually does, and for Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper being at a slight disadvantage, they were holding up pretty well.

I had just caught the third out when I had gotten anxious to find out what Bella thought about the game. If she was bored, Esme could always take my place and I could take her home.

"What do you think?"

"One thing's for sure, I'll never be able to sit through dull old Major League Baseball again."

"And it sounds like you did so much of that before," I teased her, laughing.

"I am a little disappointed," she added on, looking as though she was teasing but I was worried anyways.

"Why?" I asked, trying to hide the anxiousness from my voice.

"Well, it would be nice if I could find just one thing you didn't do better than everyone else on the planet." Hah. If only. If I were as controlled as Carlisle, I could probably spend more than 10 seconds kissing you. I just smiled at her.

Dude, you're turn to bat Emmett called me back.

"I'm up," I announced, and ran back to the plate.

It was always funny playing baseball with my family. With such mix-matched personalities, playing with each other and winning or losing, someone's always making fun of someone else. All in good fun, of course, but as vampires things tend to get heated up easily. Esme had to break up arguments a couple of times, as always, but Bella just did her best to stifle her giggles. It made me a bit nervous, truthfully, that she was so comfortable that she could laugh in the presence of six angry, or at least annoyed, vampires.

I knew from the moment I found out I loved her that I would, somehow, hurt her. Whether it be physically or emotionally, it was inevitable. I expected more to hurt her physically at first, seeing as I'm ten thousand times stronger than she is. Or the fact that I was such a slave to her scent. Later on, in getting to know her - realizing she loved me almost as much as I loved her, I wondered if maybe she might suffer heartbreak if I ever were capable of leaving her to keep her physically unharmed. I didn't think too much on that, though, since I'm too selfish to deprive myself of my time with Bella. After all, I only have about 70 years left with her. More, I suppose, if Alice's vision came true, but though I'm selfish enough to keep her with me, I'm nowhere near selfish enough to damn her to this existence just so I could keep her for myself.

I knew my presence was always a danger to her. I thought self-control was all I needed, and I could protect her from the worst danger. And though I am her worst danger, there are other dangers out there.

There were silly human dangers that always seemed so unimportant before, but seemed so huge now that I knew how everything could affect Bella. She could die from just about anything, but I thought if I were around all the time, I could protect her from such things.

The fact that I didn't even consider, really, that my being around her all the time...simple things like taking my Bella to watch a ball game with my vampire family, could ever really bring her harm.

I considered that she might cut herself accidentally - after all, she is quite clumsy. My family loved her, with the exception of Rosalie - but even she wouldn't wish death upon an innocent, and they love me. They would do their best to control themselves, I know, and the only problem would be Jasper, I suppose, but with six other vampires present I'm sure that we could calm him down.

I considered that she might perhaps get in the way of the ball and have a baseball-sized hole somewhere on her. With my speed, though, I could probably calculate where Bella would be met with the ball and hopefully get there in time to pull her out of the way; at least enough not to have the ball injure a vital organ or something equally as important, and we could have Carlisle fix her up. But she was staying in one place, so that possibility was slim.

I considered many ways of Bella possibly getting hurt from being here, with my family and I, today. But, unfortunately, I did not consider what actually happened.

It was Carlisle's turn to bat, after Esme had broken up the argument between Alice and Rosalie. My eyes were on the ball, focusing on the direction it would shoot to, when Alice gasped. That was the first sign that something was wrong. Not many things take Alice by surprise. The last time Alice was caught by surprise, Bella was almost crushed to death by a van.

Immediately I was searching in her head. And then I saw them. Three vampires. Headed this way. Where my family were. Where my Bella was. My Bella. My frail, human, blood-filled Bella. I was at her side faster than my family's eyes were on Alice.

"Alice?" Esme asked, worry clear in her voice.

"I didn't see - I couldn't tell," she whispered, apologizing to me in her thoughts, but I couldn't think. My hands felt numb. Not dead, like they were, but like they weren't there. I couldn't feel them. My head felt like I had a headache for the first time since I was born into this life, or rather, into this death. Everyone gathered around Alice, Jasper there before anyone else.

"What is it, Alice?" Carlisle asked, staying calm so he could find out what was going on, and try to fix the situation.

"They were traveling much quicker than I thought. I can see I had the perspective wrong before," she started to explain, and I didn't want to hear this. I didn't want Bella to hear this.

"What changed?" Jasper asked, trying to figure out what was wrong.

"They heard us playing, and it changed their path," she answered, still apologizing to me, holding tight to Jasper. Everyone understood, then. Bella. Bella was the one in trouble, because vampires were headed this way. They all looked at her, and her heart started to race.

"How soon?" Carlisle asked, already working through what would happen.

"Less than five minutes. They're running - they want to play." He knew, then, that we couldn't just run her off somewhere, now. He had to at least ask, though, just in case.

"Can you make it?"

"No, not carrying-" maybe with the jeep, but they would hear that and possibly follow. "Besides, the last thing we need is for them to catch the scent and start hunting."

"How many?" Emmett asked, already preparing for a fight. He was always ready for violence.

"There."

"Three! Let them come," he flexed then, but he was the only one not worried. Everyone else was watching Carlisle, and I did not like the decision he came to, but what choice did we have?

"Let's just continue the game. Alice said they were simply curious."

"Are they thirsty?" Esme asked, and I looked into Alice's mind again. Their eyes were red, they had fed recently. I shook my head, and asked for Esme and I to switch roles in the game. I stood in front of Bella, fighting the urge to take a protective stance. It would alert the vampires immediately to the fact that Bella was human. With the direction the wind was blowing now, if Bella and I were to stay at a distance, they might not pick up that she was human. They would no doubt smell her scent, but with her fair skin and dark eyes, they might think a human had passed by here not long ago, and Bella was just another vampire. It would be Carlisle's job to distract the vampires from paying too much attention to the rest of us.

Though, if they did pay attention to detail, the fact that Bella had a large blue pulsing vein right there on her neck would be a dead giveaway.

"Take your hair down," I asked of Bella, trying not to let any desperation, shame, disgust, or any emotion I was feeling leak out. The slower Bella's heart was beating, the quieter, the better. She did so without question.

"The others are coming now," she stated, it wasn't a question; she wasn't really looking for confirmation. She was just trying to accept the reality of the situation.

"Yes, stay very still, keep quiet, and don't move from my side, please," I asked, my mask of indifference slipping slightly, and started working with her hair - trying to cover up any colour and hopefully cage in her scent, though I knew it was useless.

It's really sick of me, I know, that in this moment with so much danger surrounding us that I couldn't help but revel in the feel of her silky hair.

"That won't help," Alice said softly, almost apologetically, "I could smell her across the field."

"I know," I answered, a bit of my frustration leaking out, and I didn't mean to be harsh to her. This was not, at all, her fault. She knew, though, what I was feeling. She wasn't hurt by it.

Everyone was setting up to start playing again, tense but only in their thoughts. The atmosphere was not nearly as excited as before. No one was in the mood for playing, now.

"What did Esme ask you?" Bella whispered into my ear, and I really wish I hadn't made the promise to myself never to lie to her right then.

"Whether they were thirsty."

The game went on for a few more seconds, worry in all thoughts except Emmett's. Even Rosalie was worried, though not for Bella. She was worried for Emmett's safety. He was always ready for a fight. He would gladly challenge these stranger vampires, and she didn't want to see him hurt. I expected this. This wasn't the reason for my frustration with her. It was that she blamed Bella entirely. She was continuously looking at her, tying to reign in the anger in her expression, only failing mildly, but her thoughts were shooting daggers at her. If I wasn't so focused on the three incoming vampires, I would have ripped her a new one.

I was watching the forest, looking at the direction I saw through Alice's vision, when I heard them. I heard their minds. They were, indeed, just curious, and they were smart enough not to start a fight with a coven this size, but the leader, James, was not one I wanted around Bella. At all.

"I'm sorry, Bella. It was stupid, irresponsible, to expose you like this. I'm so sorry," I told her before the others came close enough to hear us. It didn't feel like enough. I just set her up for death. All my fault. I shouldn't have brought her here. I shouldn't have gotten involved with her. I shouldn't have spoken to her that day in Biology, after she had turned down Mike Newton's offer of a date. Bella might die, because of me. I knew it was always a possibility, but it seemed so real now that I almost couldn't stand just standing here instead of carrying Bella far, far away.

My breath stopped, and I could hear them. They were running towards us, full speed. I positioned myself so that I was covering more of Bella from them at the angle they were coming in, and everyone turned towards them, hearing them as well.

Two and a half seconds later I could see them, and every memory I ever had of Bella flashed through my head, without my conscious command for it to do so. Bella, across the cafeteria. Bella, sleeping. Bella, in my car. Bella, in the meadow. Bella, fainting in my arms. I shook my head a little, trying to clear it and readied myself for the three approaching vampires.

The leader came through first, of average height and build with average facial features and short hair, but fell back so the second male in the coven could take the lead. I saw, in their minds, it was set up to throw us off. The second male was larger, more muscled, but nothing near Emmett. He seemed a lesser threat than the first, James. The third of the coven was a woman, James' "mate". She was small, not as small as Alice but about the size of Rosalie. We would be able to take them down without any…casualties.

To my surprise, and deep gratefulness, Bella's heartbeat stayed slow and even. Unnoticeable, almost, if you weren't paying attention. And they weren't.

They were sizing up Emmett and Jasper, seeing them as the largest threat as they strolled in and stopped a few feet in front of us. Carlisle took the lead, flanked by Emmett and Jasper – I would be closer to them, but I needed to shield Bella. Rosalie, Alice and Esme flanked them, followed by Bella and I. Emmett's size and Jasper's battle scars were enough to keep their attention focused on them. Their thoughts were of nothing but staying alive, playing baseball and the unfamiliar colouring of our eyes.

The fake leader took in Carlisle's calm and civil stance, and came forward to greet him, followed by James and his mate. They straightened out of their defensive crouches, still aware of the two largest of our coven, but not suspecting any immediate threat. The one in front was smiling.

"We thought we heard a game," he started, his voice much more calm than his thoughts. "I'm Laurent, these are Victoria and James," he introduced his coven, gesturing to them both.

"I'm Carlisle. This is my family, Emmett and Jasper, Rosalie, Esme and Alice, Edward and Bella," he grouped us together so as not to single anyone out, except for Rosalie, which brought their attention on her more than anyone else. Their eyes merely flashed over the three other females in our coven, not suspecting anything different from them. So far so good, but I felt Bella's hand twitch slightly at the mention of her name.

"Do you have room for a few more players?"

"Actually, we were just finishing up. But we'd certainly be interested another time. Are you planning to stay in the area for long?" Jasper took the opportunity during the casual conversation to start sending out waves of serenity. Slowly at first, creeping up in volume so as not to hit everyone with a wall of sudden calm and have everyone confused about their own emotions. Slowly he did this, yet the female, Victoria, sensed something. Her eyes flashed so quickly to Jasper and back to Carlisle that I wouldn't have been sure they did so if I hadn't been able to pick up the fact that she had in her mind. I felt a sudden sense of dread.

Victoria has a gift.

"We're headed north, in fact, but we were curious to see who was in the neighborhood. We haven't run into any company in a long time."

"No, this region is usually empty except for us and the occasional visitor, like yourselves."

"What's your hunting range?" Laurent asked, trying to figure out why our eyes were golden rather than the normal red. Carlisle dodged that bullet, though.

"The Olympic Range here, up and down the Coast Ranges on occasion. We keep a permanent residence nearby. There's another permanent settlement like ours up near Denali." Laurent rocked backward on his heels at this, taken back by the fact that we are able to reside in one area permanently. He wants that, he tires of being constantly on the move.

"Permanent? How do you manage that?" he asked, thinking of what life might be like without Victoria and James' tiring games. I wondered what he meant by that, but probably didn't want to know.

"Why don't you come back to our home with us and we can talk comfortably? It's a rather long story." James and Victoria exchanged a quick glance with each other at the use of the word "home". They hadn't lived in an actual home since their changes.

"That sounds very interesting, and welcome. We've been on the hunt all the way down from Ontario, and we haven't had the chance to clean up in a while." His eyes roamed Carlisle's neat appearance approvingly while I was paying close attention to Bella, waiting for reaction once she realized what he meant by hunting. I'm sure by now she's noticed their glowing red eyes; could she really be handling this so well? Is she not frightened at all? Her heart rate is steady, her breathing even though slightly shallow, she's staying as still as can be expected from a human…

"Please don't take offense, but we'd appreciate it if you'd refrain from hunting in this immediate area. We have to stay inconspicuous, you understand," Carlisle was explaining, and while James and Laurent were paying attention to him, Victoria was measuring up each one of us. I tensed slightly when her eyes roamed Bella, but they didn't stay there. Her eyes were shifting mostly between Jasper, Alice and I. The three out of all of us who had gifts. Perhaps she has a gift like Eleazar's, she can sense what other's powers are. I couldn't really tell, she was thinking more about what James wanted.

James was bored, though. James wanted a game. He's bored with this existence, bored with everyone. He doesn't even love Victoria the way she loves him. It's not the bond of vampire love, it's the regular human fall-in-love bond she has for him, and he feels none of it. He sees her as a prop, or a tool, for what I'm not sure, but her feelings are unrequited.

"Of course. We certainly won't encroach on your territory. We just ate outside of Seattle, anyway," he laughed, and I felt Bella shiver. So she does know, she understands completely, she's just trying her best to stay calm and unnoticed. She is a horrible actress, but she knows what kind of danger she's in right now. She is amazing. And she's in danger, because of me.

"We'll show you the way if you'd like to run with us-" Carlisle thought of how to put his plan into casual words, "Emmett and Alice, you can do with Edward and Bella to get the jeep," he said, perfectly normally, and it would have worked. We would have gone with Emmett and Alice to the jeep, Bella safely in tow. I would have helped her walk steady and gracefully so as not to alert the coven of her un-vampiric balance. We would have driven off, and Bella and I would have hidden somewhere while Emmett and Alice went back with some excuse for our absence.

But it didn't work out that way. In a split second, everything changed. Alice saw it half a second before it happened. That tiny inconsequential change in the weather, the slightest shift in the direction of the wind while Carlisle was still speaking. He didn't notice it until James' head whipped to stare at Bella.

A light breeze had changed its course and blew Bella's scent to the direction of James and his coven. I stiffened, and Bella's heartbeat finally started beating quicker and louder than usual. It didn't matter now, they knew.

Everyone was rigid-Jasper was trying to send waves of indifference, but it wasn't having much effect- as James took a step forward and shifted into a crouch. It was instinct to defend her, so without giving it any thought at all, my lips pulled back revealing my teeth, and I growled- low, but threatening. For a quarter of a second, I wondered if Bella would be frightened of me now, but then it didn't matter, as long as she was _safe_.

_Bad idea, Edward… I'm not sure you should have done that. I can't see clearly, his mind isn't made up yet, but he's planning something…for Bella._

I growled louder, which only provoked him more. I could see it then. My defending her, along with six other vampires…he was enjoying this. This was his type of game.

_A human girl. A tiny insignificant human girl, and her scent is so delicious… but why? Is she related to them? She looks like she might be related to him; both have dark hair and fair skin. But he doesn't seem to be protective like a brother for a sister. He seems like he's protecting his…mate. But…she's human? Has he really fallen for a human girl? And left her human?! Why would h…this is so pathetic. And his coven of strange eye coloured family. They all protect the girl. Seven vampires to my three, it could work if we picked them off individually. The larger one, he'll be a problem but not as much as the blonde one. How many vampires has he killed? How many have bitten him, and fallen? We'll save him for last, or not at all if he decides not to avenge the death of the human girl. I'd rather not get into a fight with them, especially if Laurent decides not to fight like he usually does. Maybe…if I could somehow separate the girl from the coven…it wouldn't be easy. It would take time. Lots of time, but what do I have if not time? Her mate seems extremely protective, as he should be…a human mate! Hah! I could probably take him out on my own, though. Victoria could easily take the two small females, they aren't fighters. The leader doesn't seem the fighter type either, but he might for his coven. The third female, she seems venomous. She might be harder to deal with than the other smaller females, but nothing I can't handle. So the only real threat here is Emmett and Jasper. Easy enough._

"What's this?" Laurent asked, extremely confused as to why everyone was so tense all of a sudden, oblivious to what was going on. Victoria seemed confused as well, and I wondered why James had picked up on the scent so easily compared to the rest of his coven. They had perfect senses, James' was just better. In fact, incredibly better than all other vampires I've known...

Could this get any worse? Of all vampires to interrupt our game, it had to be a coven with a tracker? James shifted to the right, and I copied his movements exactly.

_More protective than I thought. At least this will keep me busy for the next couple months, or years. Doesn't matter to me._

James measured up Alice, confused, then recognition flickered across his features, but he focused back on Bella without another thought about her-all within a half second.

"She's with us," Carlisle spoke firmly, to James more than to Laurent. He understood now, as he tested the air and smelled Bella. He heard her heartbeat now, and Victoria understood as well. She knew exactly what James wanted. She knew he wanted Bella.

"You brought a snack?" he asked, cautiously taking a step forward as Bella's scent fully attacked his senses. He wanted her, as well. Damn it, why did my girlfriend have to smell so delicious? I snarled furiously at Laurent, causing him to step back into his original spot.

"I said she's with us," Carlisle spoke calmly but firmly, trying to keep control on the situation.

"But she's _human_," Laurent half-questioned, bewildered.

"Yes," Carlisle answered, as if it shouldn't matter. Laurent shifted infinitesimally, uncomfortable with being surrounded by so many angry vampires. He knew we would tear them apart if it came to a fight. He didn't want that, he wanted to live. He didn't care for James' games; he was part of the coven for convenience. He didn't want to risk his life for his coven mates' stupidity and greed.

"It appears we have a lot to learn about each other," he spoke with forced tranquility.

"Indeed." Carlisle was not so quick to trust him. I was thankful.

"But we'd like to accept for invitation. And, of course, we will not harm the human girl. We won't hunt in your range, as I said." James shot an incredulous look to Laurent, but he missed it. Victoria, however, caught the look he gave _her_, and she understood. They would, indeed, be harming the human girl, as far as they were concerned. Carlisle measured up Laurent, and seemed to trust that he, at least, wouldn't harm her. He didn't feel the same way about Victoria and James, rightfully so, but he wanted to get Bella out of here as quickly as possible.

"We'll show you the way. Jasper, Rosalie, Esme?" They gathered up towards Carlisle, blocking Bella from the coven's sight. Alice flitted to my Bella's other side, and Emmett backed away slowly, staring daggers at James. If Bella weren't here right now, if I wasn't so disturbed at the thought of her watching me decapitate another being, I would rip James apart right this moment.

"Let's go, Bella," I murmured, listening as everyone but Emmett, Alice, Bella and I retreated into the woods, in the direction of the house. I waited for Bella to move, but she wouldn't. I understood her, then. She was calm on the outside, for the sake of staying alive. Her heartbeat was calm and steady, as was her breathing. She seemed completely fine. Inside was another story. She was, indeed, freaking out. I felt so disgusted with myself for having made her feel this way. All my fault. She couldn't even move, she was frozen in place. I took her arm and led her to the van. My first instinct was to talk to her, try to calm her down, but I couldn't right now. James was already planning how to separate us. He would take Victoria and ditch on their way to the house, he wasn't sure whether or not Laurent would want to join in with so many vampires up against us. I had to get her out of here, _now_. Alice and Emmett followed behind Bella, standing in between her and the threat that was far away by now, but just in case – they wanted the be the first thing James would go up against if he turned around and came back for her.

As Bella stumbled alongside me, I felt horrid for pushing her, but I couldn't help it. I needed to get her out of here. As soon as we entered the forest, I threw her on my back and ran. She held on tightly, her head down, but from her reaction to my running, I think her eyes were open. I didn't care, I just ran as fast as I could, quickly passing Emmett and Alice, trying to make it to the jeep.

When we reached it, I threw her into the back seat, ordering Emmett to strap her in, and went to the driver's side. Alice was in the passenger seat by the time I closed my door.

Time to run for Bella's life.

**Oh boy. Ok, next chapter should be up by next...wednsday. I'd say thursday, but I'll probably be finished before then 'cause it's at the crazykickassawesome parts, and coming up is when Emmett's hilarious and Bella's diabolical :D So anyways, hope you enjoyed, it was so much fun writing it ^.^ Until next time!**

**-moonstruckmanda**


	16. Chapter 16

**Hey :) So, I know I kind of failed for the last chapter xD I might re do it, but not any time soon. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't nearly what I thought it could have been. I sort of rushed it, but this chapter, in my opinion, is much better. Thanks, by the way, to xOCDxObsessiveCullenDisorderx, iLiya11, Rose Virgo, , and twolden77 for your reviews last chapter :) Greatly appreciated!**

**So, on a completely different yet the same note, is it true that Robert Pattinson got attacked by a herd of teenage girls and got run over by a taxi? What the hell. Girls, girls...I know he's like the epitome of sexiness all rolled into one person, but like...control yourselves. Please.**

**So, anywayssss... don't own twilight :)**

**-moonstruckmanda  
**

"_Goddamn fucking sadistic-ass mother fucking vampires can't fucking leave well enough alone_…" Alice was trying to hide her surprise, but Emmett couldn't. His eyebrows shot up, and I suppose I didn't blame him, since I had never spoken like this in the presence of a lady, let alone in front of my sister and my Bella…that he's known of. But, really, in this situation, did they expect any different?

_Bro, calm down, its three vampires. We'll handle it. You're overreacting._ Emmett was staring out the windows looking for any followers. Alice was staring out her window as well, but only paying half attention to what she was seeing, most of her attention was focused on her visions.

_How are they avoiding us so well? _ Possibly Victoria's gift. Which, really, would explain why James kept her around. As a tracker, avoidance would be a good gift to have around.

"Where are we going?" I really didn't want to answer her, which was good for now because I had no real idea. Alice was sifting through her visions, but James somehow caught up each place we decided.

_Chicago…no, we'd have four days. Berlin…a week, at most. Toronto…damn it!_

_Dude, not answering isn't going to help her…she's probably pretty freaked out right now._

"Dammit, Edward! Where are you taking me?" Well, I'll have to answer her _now_.

"We have to get you away from here – far away – now." I didn't look at her face. I couldn't, I knew she wouldn't like this. She'd be worried about Charlie.

A flicker of a vision popped up into Alice's head. It was of Bella, screaming at Charlie in their living room. _She's forming a plan, Edward. I'm not sure how safe it is, and I won't be until she sets her mind to it._

I glanced at her, giving her a look to silence any chance of Bella's plan being put into action. That plan would involve staying around here for longer than we could afford.

"Turn around! You have to take me home!" she shouted, confirming Alice's vision, and she started attempting to free herself of the harness.

"Emmett," I asked, hating that I'd have to do this to Bella. She didn't deserve this, this was all my fault, and now I had a vampire holding her down against her will.

_Poor girl…damn. Whoa, warm. Edward must love that. But, it feels almost like she's burning my skin._

"No! Edward! No, you can't do this." She half whimpered, half yelled. I couldn't take this. I couldn't take her being so angry with me, couldn't take her yelling at me.

"I have to, Bella, now please be quiet."

"I won't! You have to take me back – Charlie will call the FBI! They'll be all over your family – Carlisle and Esme! They'll have to leave, to hide forever!"

_THAT's what she's worried about?! Oh, a few vampires are after me, that's all fine and dandy – but the Cullen's getting into some trouble they could easily get out of?... Edward, is she mentally stable?_

This is just like Bella. "Calm down, Bella. We've been there before."

"Not over me, you don't! You're not ruining everything over me!" She tried to struggle out of Emmett's grasp, not giving up – even though she knew full well it was useless. She was so, so ridiculous.

_Bella and Alice in a hotel room in an unknown place. Bella must be planning something good, because Edward hasn't decided on anything yet._

"Edward, pull over." _Pull over?_ Was she _insane_? Three vampires are possibly chasing Bella, who is in the backseat of this car, and she wants me to pull over. I shot her a look, and sped up.

"Edward, let's just talk this through." _We don't have a plan, we don't have a destination. There's no point in driving nowhere when we could later decide on a destination in the opposite direction, which would only serve to give James more time. We need to plan, we need to figure out what we're going to do. We can't do that if you're driving like a maniac and freaking Bella out._

"You don't understand. He's a tracker, Alice, did you _see_ that? He's a tracker!"

_Oh, shit. Of all the rotten-freaking-luck, we have to come across a Demitri-wannabe._ Trust Emmett to be so serious, yet so joking at the same time. Demitri was a vampire with the gift of tracking, as well, but he worked with the Volturi. He was a much stronger tracker, and I suppose now, if for nothing else, I could be thankful that we were dealing with James, and not a much better tracker equipped with centuries of combat training and experience. Still, I'd rather no vampires be after Bella.

Alice went through surprise, understanding, mourning… I'd rather not think too much on that phase, and finally she was back to her focused self.

_That doesn't change much. We're smarter, stronger, we have greater numbers. We need a plan._

"Pull over, Edward." She was ridiculous. She didn't see into his mind, she doesn't understand fully, but I'd rather not explain it fully with Bella right here. I sped up even more. "Do it, Edward." _I'm not joking around, Edward. Pull over – you're not thinking clearly. You're being irrational._

"Listen to me, Alice. I saw his mind. Tracking is his passion, his obsession – and he wants her, Alice – _her_ specifically. He begins the hunt tonight."

_That makes things worse, Edward, but that doesn't change the fact that we're driving blindly._ "He doesn't know where-" She didn't understand, still. She didn't see the severity of the situation.

"How long do you think it will take him to cross her scent in town? His plan was already set before the words were out of Laurent's mouth." I heard Bella gasp, but tried my best to keep focused on the road in front of me. That didn't work out too well, though, because Bella started yelling again.

"Charlie! You can't leave him there! You can't leave him!" She began thrashing around again, attempting to free herself from Emmett's grasp.

"She's right," Alice commented, and I knew she had me there. _Would you leave Charlie defenseless? Think about it, Edward. If we leave now, James will find Charlie. He could hold him hostage for Bella – there's no doubt Bella would give herself up willingly for him then. Or worse, he could kill Charlie – think about how that would affect her. Think about how that would affect _you_. You see? You're not thinking things through, Edward, we need to stop, and we need to make a plan. _Now."

I slowed down. She had a point. I couldn't do that to Bella, or Charlie.

"Let's just look at our options for a minute," she pressed, knowing she was close to winning. I slowed down, and finally, knowing I was defeated, stopped the car entirely. I regretting stopping so quickly when Bella flew forward, and crashed back into the seat, but she was fine, and worse things could be happening to her now if we didn't figure something out.

"There are no options," I hissed at Alice, knowing full well that my anger was misplaced, but I didn't really care at the moment.

"I'm not leaving Charlie!" Bella yelled, but I ignored her. Emmett, however, didn't.

_Think about your connection to Carlisle, man. Would you leave him in a situation like this, if our places were reversed? Defenseless, offered on a silver platter to some sick vampire? No way, man. That's not going to happen. You can't kill what she loves._

"We have to take her back," He spoke aloud, for Bella's benefit more than anything else.

"No."

"He's not match for us, Edward. He won't be able to touch her." _What are you afraid of?_

What am I afraid of? What does he think?! "He'll wait." He smiled at that, and I knew his answer before he spoke it. Before he even thought it.

"I can wait, too." Always up for a challenge. However, this is not a challenge I would like to instigate.

"You didn't see – you don't understand. Once he commits to a hunt, he's unshakable. We'd have to kill him."

"That's an option." I glanced up to the rearview mirror, afraid of what Bella might be thinking during this particular conversation. I could tell she wasn't too happy with the thought of killing anyone. She grimaced as soon as the words were out of Emmett's mouth.

"And the female. She's with him. If it turns into a fight, the leader will go with them, too." I wasn't sure of this, he seemed a bit sketchy, but I needed to convince them to see what I was seeing.

"There are enough of us." _Three against seven, and we all have experience. With Jasper on our side, we'll be fine._

A vision flashed through my head, then. Not a new one, but one Alice had a while ago that she was remembering - one I've shied away from since she had it. A cold, dead, soulless Bella.

"There's another option." The reaction came without thinking, and even if I had it through, I wouldn't have changed it – Alice knew better than to press me on this subject.

"There – is – no – other – option!" I snarled at her, glaring at her with fury that almost matched the stare I had given James. Emmett and Bella were staring at me in shock, but I didn't care.

_Dude, calm down…it's not Alice that's after Bella. Chill out, we won't figure anything out if you're continuously flying off the handle._

_Edward. Think about it rationally. If she were one of us, or turning into one of us, there'd be no point for him. The game would be over. And even if he were still persistent with trying to get her, which would be highly unlikely, she would be more…durable, if he ever did get close to her. She could run as fast as us, hide as well as us, maybe fight with us…_ She saw that my answer wasn't changing from my stare. _ Ok, then, Edward. What do you suppose we do?_

"Does anyone want to hear my plan?" Bella asked, suddenly, and I didn't even want to consider what she might be thinking.

"No." I didn't mean for it to come out sounding so furious, but I felt like I was being stretched too tightly, and I might break if there were any more ridiculous plans thrown around. Alice glared at me, then.

_Ok, Edward, let's just shoot down every plan we come up with. Let's not even _try _to save her. That makes a whole lot of sense._

Bella disregarded my command, and told us anyway. "You take me back. I tell my dad I want to go home to Phoenix. I pack my bags. We wait till this tracker is watching, and then we run. He'll follow us and leave Charlie alone. Charlie won't call the FBI on your family. Then you can take me any damned place you want."

I stared at her. I couldn't do much else. I couldn't help but realize that that was the best idea anyone's come up with so far – and from a human mind, no less. But then, I always knew Bella was exceptionally smart. Alice nodded slightly, liking the idea.

"It's not a bad idea, really." _It would fix almost every problem except for the fact that Bella would still be in danger, and that's where we come in._

"It might work – and we simply can't leave her father unprotected. You know that." Alice's visions of Bella yelling at Charlie in her living room were solidifying now, and making much more sense. Everyone was looking at me, searching for any sign of my acceptance, but I couldn't. She'd be here too long, and I don't want to have any chance of catching up with us, I don't want him anywhere near her. If we went back…

"It's too dangerous – I don't want him within a hundred miles of her."

"Edward, he's not getting through us." _He'd be crazy to even try, and you know that. If he's smart, he'll back away until she's unprotected, and we won't let that happen. Think about this._

"I don't see him attacking. He'll try to wait for us to leave her alone."

"It won't take long for him to realize that's not going to happen."

"I _demand_ that you take me home," Bella growled, sounding about as threatening as she could, but it was threatening enough. To me, at least. If I didn't listen to her, our relationship was threatened, and I knew it. But would I really endanger Bella's life because of the possibility that she'd leave me? No. I pressed my fingers into my temples, shutting my eyes closed, trying to think of a way to get out of this mess. "Please," she asked, in a much softer ton, and I knew I couldn't deny her anything. Even if what she wanted was absolutely insane, and stupid.

"You're leaving tonight, whether the tracker sees or not. You tell Charlie that you can't stand another minute in Forks. Tell him whatever story works. Pack the first things your hands touch, and then get in your truck. I don't care what he says to you. You have fifteen minutes. Do you hear me? Fifteen minutes from the time you cross the doorstep." I started the jeep again, and headed back into town, towards Bella's house.

"Emmett?" Bella asked, looking at her still vampire-bound wrists.

"Oh, sorry," he apologized, freeing her. _She's not trying to jump from a speeding jeep anymore, I think she'll be okay._

How to do this. How to do this without risking Bella or Charlie. I can't hear the tracker's thoughts, so he mustn't be close. If Emmett and Alice stand watch, and I meet Bella up in her room to help her pack – with my speed it shouldn't take near fifteen minutes. But, then, I'm sure Charlie will put up a fight. That's Bella's battle, though.

"This is how it's going to happen. I will walk her to the door. Then she has fifteen minutes. Emmett, you take the outside of the house. Alice, you get the truck. I'll be inside as long as she is. After she's out, you two can take the jeep home and tell Carlisle."

"No way. I'm with you." _There is no way in hell I'm letting you run off alone, hiding with a human with a target on her head. You're going to need help._

"Think it through, Emmett. I don't know how long I'll be gone."

"Until we know how far this is going to go, I'm with you." I appreciated his help, and his commitment, but he didn't understand. It could be years. However, time is endless for vampires…there's almost no meaning. But he'd miss Rose, and I highly doubt she'd want to go into hiding with Bella anywhere near. I sighed. What to do?

"If the tracker _is_ there, we keep driving."

"We're going to make it there before him," Alice confirmed. _He'll get there when Bella starts heading downstairs, he won't attack. He'll wait and watch us leave._ "What are we going to do with the jeep?"

"You're driving it home."

"No, I'm not." _You'll accept Emmett's assistance, but not mine? Have I offended you in some way? I know you care about me, but I can handle myself. I love Bella, you know that, and I need to help her. I want to help her. I'll do anything and everything I can, and you can not stop me._

"We can't all fit in my truck," Bella whispered, but that wouldn't matter. Alice and Emmett would be able to keep up with us on foot without a problem. "I think you should let me go alone," she added, even more quietly, and I almost growled at her.

"Bella, please just do this my way, just this once."

"Listen, Charlie's not an imbecile. If you're not in town tomorrow, he's going to get suspicious."

"That's irrelevant. We'll make sure he's safe, and that's all that matters."

"Then what about the tracker? He saw the way you acted tonight. He's going to think you're with me, wherever you are."

_She has a point, man. If he follows you, instead of her, and she goes off in a different direction – we could take him out without her being anywhere near._ "Edward, listen to her. I think she's right."

"Yes, she is," Alice agreed, but didn't they realize that there's no way I could possibly leave her right now? No way at all?

"I can't do that."

"Emmett should stay too. He definitely got an eyeful of Emmett."

"What?" _But…Who else could stay with Bella? She obviously can't go completely unprotected, and I want to shred some vampires._

"You'll get a better crack at him if you stay,' Alice said, knowing all too well what was going on in Emmett's mind. I couldn't believe they were actually considering this possibility.

"You think I should let her go alone?"

"Of course not. Jasper and I will take her."_ With my visions, and Jasper's fighting…experience, we would be more than fine. Even if all three came at us. Jasper could handle it, no doubt, and you know it. But they wouldn't come for us. At least, I'm pretty sure the leader won't, and the female is confusing me. I'm not sure why. But with Jasper and I with Bella, we could have Esme guard Charlie, just in case, and everyone else could take out James – and whoever decides to fight with him. You _know_ this is right, Edward. You know it's the way this is going to happen, don't fight it. It's the only option we have._

"I can't do that," I repeated, sounding broken. Which, honestly, I was.

"Hand out here for a week-" Bella tried to convince me, but when the word week slipped out of her mouth, and I glared at her, she backtracked. Smart. "A few days. Let Charlie see you haven't kidnapped me, and lead this James on a wild-goose chase. Make sure he's completely off my trail. Then come and meet me. Take a roundabout route, of course, and then Jasper and Alice can go home." It made sense. But we still haven't decided where we were going to hide her in the first place.

"Meet you where?"

"Phoenix. Of course." What, did she think James was stupid?

"No. He'll hear that's where you were going," I said, waiting for the look of understanding to come across her features. It didn't.

"And you'll make it look like that's a ruse, obviously. He'll know that we'll know that he's listening. He'll never believe I'm actually going where I say I am going." I blinked. Twice. I have a vampire mind, why didn't I think of that? Emmett, apparently, was on the same wave length.

"She's diabolical," she complimented, chuckling. I didn't have time to see the humor.

"And if that doesn't work?"

"There are several million people in Phoenix."

"It's not that hard to find a phone book."

"I won't go home."

"Oh?" I asked, doubtful. Where was she supposed to go, then?

"I'm quite old enough to get my own place."

"Edward, we'll be with her," Alice reminded me, but there was something she hadn't thought of yet.

"What are _you_ going to do in _Phoenix_?" I asked, but her simple answer killed any chance of argument from my side.

"Stay indoors."

"I kind of like it," Emmett said, agreeing with everyone but me. _Besides, if Jasper isn't around, that's more vampires for me to take down._

"Shut up, Emmett."

"Look, if we try to take him down while she's still around, there's a much better chance that someone will get hurt – she'll get hurt, or you will, trying to protect her. Now, if we get him alone…" Images of James being circled by Emmett, Rose and I were dancing around in his head, but disregarding those, he had a point.

We reached town, then, and I had to slow down so as not to alert anyone. "Bella…if you let anything happen to yourself – anything at all – I'm holding you personally responsible. Do you understand that?"

"Yes," she answered, her voice just now showing how truly frightened she really was. I turned to Alice, not wanting to see the fear on her face.

"Can Jasper handle this?" It was a couple of days, in some hotel room with a human. He had control, but enough control to handle this?

"Give him some credit, Edward. He's been doing very, very well, all things considered." And before I could stop myself, more because I was looking for reasons to just run off with Bella myself and be sure that she was safe 24/7 and not have to leave her side, I pissed Alice off.

"Can _you_ handle this?" She growled at me, and for the first time in what seemed like years, but has only been about an hour or so, I smiled. It quickly disappeared, though, when I realized that Bella would be alone with Alice for quite some time. "But keep your opinions to yourself."

_Whatever._

**Hooray! And the chase is on. I know I updated faster than I said I would, but I doubt that'll happen again...I'm also, at the same time, packing to move. So yeah. But I _should_ be done next chapter by next Sunday :) Wow, could my update times be more erratic? Seriously. xD But anyways, thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed! :) Until next time..**

**-moonstruckmanda  
**


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